“No,” Philip had protested firmly, in spite of her shrieking. No, he had no right; no, he hadn’t been there, he had never been; no, he wouldn’t fucking let her go. He couldn’t say whether this last was to aggravate her or in hope that she could find some comfort. But he could feel the pain physically wracking her body and echoing through his chest. Years of his pain, suppressed by the curse and left to haunt him. It was worse when she fell limp against him – his arms snaked more tightly around her, tight enough to almost break a rib.
This was the way to fall apart. “No,” he murmured again, his breaths coming heavy and ragged. No, it hadn’t been her fault. No – she was not an automaton after all. “No. I know.” He leant over her, burying his face towards her – without meaning to, he pressed a kiss to the side of her head. I’m sorry, maybe that was to say, or don’t you dare let go. Because Alexandra was warm and angry and so alive, a channel for all his hurt – and, perhaps for the first time, he thought that he might need her.
This was the way to fall apart. “No,” he murmured again, his breaths coming heavy and ragged. No, it hadn’t been her fault. No – she was not an automaton after all. “No. I know.” He leant over her, burying his face towards her – without meaning to, he pressed a kiss to the side of her head. I’m sorry, maybe that was to say, or don’t you dare let go. Because Alexandra was warm and angry and so alive, a channel for all his hurt – and, perhaps for the first time, he thought that he might need her.
