“Then protect me, Emrys. Try.” This was the easiest answer in the world. The only thing Angelica couldn’t puzzle out was his insistence on ignoring the obvious. All he had to do was try. She didn’t expect them to wake up blissfully happy and free of troubles tomorrow. She expected him to remember he was a man and stop running from anything that took effort. He’d only managed to disappoint her.
Her stomach did a turn she did not appreciate as she wrestled with her moral considerations. There was a mess of tangles mixed up in her thoughts on the whole subject. ‘Surreal’ was the best word she had, but ‘ludicrous’ was coming in a close second. She didn’t have words for what, how, and why this bothered her, but only in parts. She didn’t know how to explain to him that she was very interested in the idea, with caveats. She also wasn’t an idiot. She needed so many things from him, but an explanation that sex complicates things wasn’t on the list. They were living proof of that. She needed information and reassurance, which he seemed (intentionally) incapable of providing her. She chose not to remind him that picking up the pieces would take effort, but he would know that, if he’d ever tried in the past.
“If we go through with this,” She corrected, “I need you, Emrys, for whatever I decide. You can’t,” She caught herself, knowing better than to tell him all the things she decided he could or couldn’t do. As she was bitterly reminded every night he kept a house between them, she had no power here. “I ask that you help me understand.” She bit her lip, the thought she needed to form felt foreign and confused. It had seemed like a pointless tactic when he said it, but Angelica was pulled back again to a statement he made the night everything truly seemed to go off the rails. How was that three years ago? She weighed the words of their past with her experience tonight, piecing together clues from the fragments. She wasn’t sure what to make of what she found. She also knew she had one shot at asking her question before he found some way to take shut down to a new level. “The man you love, was he there tonight?” She didn’t bother asking if she was correct.
Her stomach did a turn she did not appreciate as she wrestled with her moral considerations. There was a mess of tangles mixed up in her thoughts on the whole subject. ‘Surreal’ was the best word she had, but ‘ludicrous’ was coming in a close second. She didn’t have words for what, how, and why this bothered her, but only in parts. She didn’t know how to explain to him that she was very interested in the idea, with caveats. She also wasn’t an idiot. She needed so many things from him, but an explanation that sex complicates things wasn’t on the list. They were living proof of that. She needed information and reassurance, which he seemed (intentionally) incapable of providing her. She chose not to remind him that picking up the pieces would take effort, but he would know that, if he’d ever tried in the past.
“If we go through with this,” She corrected, “I need you, Emrys, for whatever I decide. You can’t,” She caught herself, knowing better than to tell him all the things she decided he could or couldn’t do. As she was bitterly reminded every night he kept a house between them, she had no power here. “I ask that you help me understand.” She bit her lip, the thought she needed to form felt foreign and confused. It had seemed like a pointless tactic when he said it, but Angelica was pulled back again to a statement he made the night everything truly seemed to go off the rails. How was that three years ago? She weighed the words of their past with her experience tonight, piecing together clues from the fragments. She wasn’t sure what to make of what she found. She also knew she had one shot at asking her question before he found some way to take shut down to a new level. “The man you love, was he there tonight?” She didn’t bother asking if she was correct.
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Arthur Pettigrew, Emrys Selwyn, Rosalie Hunniford
Arthur Pettigrew, Emrys Selwyn, Rosalie Hunniford
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