He wasn’t entirely sure what was more painful; hearing Ari’s voice, or seeing him, or touching him and feeling hollow. Was it possible that it was all three? Was it possible to feel as if someone had reached in and gouged a hole into one’s chest? Ben didn’t want to let go, but knew it was time to part ways. But maybe he could hold on just a bit longer. He’d expected Ari to nod, and turn away but instead he started to speak and Ben, as desensitized to surprises as one could ever be, nearly started as Ari addressed him. Want him to be…what? Ben stared at Ari, searching his expression for more explanation.

Ah…

Happy.

He could only stare at Ari unblinkingly as he felt his composure start to fracture with every word. The air felt heavy around them yet somehow Ben felt as if the slightest disturbance would cause everything to fall apart again. Thoughts raced through his mind, each option equally as devastating as the last. He wanted to hurt Ari, just as Ari had hurt him by walking away, but doing that would never make him feel better. He wanted Ari to feel the exact pain that was now coursing relentlessly through him, but he already knew from one glance at Ari that he wasn’t faring any better. Another glance around them reassured Ben that they had at least a few more moments of privacy until someone walked through the passage again. He had nothing more to lose.

Ben's voice was thick as he finally opened his mouth to speak. “Then why did you walk away from me?”

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   Ari Fisk