Victor did not feel at all as though he were taking this in stride, but he supposed it was forgivable for Leonid to think that. Victor had been trying to hold everything together for everyone, and it wasn't as though they'd had any private conversations since his death, so what else was Leo to assume? Even if they had had any one-on-one conversations, Victor wasn't sure he would have confessed to any of his growing insecurities since his death. His relationship with Leo might have been the most comfortable and secure relationship he'd ever been in (save his marriage, but that was a different sort of thing), but that didn't mean it was indestructible. And if anything was going to cause it to implode, Victor dying and the physical component of their relationship dying with him was probably the thing to do it. This wasn't exactly the time to be layering on a bunch of emotional labor that Victor couldn't repay him for.

"Er, yes, well," he said, as his hands sought out his pockets. "It's not as though there's much alternative, is there?"

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