Jude drew back slightly in thought – that was a better question. He remembered that day about as well as the first day they’d met. It had been raining faintly; he’d opened the door and found Kieran standing there; Kieran had asked for help and wouldn’t say why.*
Jude hadn’t found out why for some time.
“Because if someone needs help, they should – have help,” he began, and he believed that, could brush off the question just by saying I would have done it for anyone; but in truth he remembered, too, feeling frustrated by Kieran’s refusal to make sense of the request, and Jude wasn’t sure he would be swayed by the principle alone.
“Because you didn’t like me either,” he reasoned, trying again to explain himself. Yes, Jude had never hated him; but Kieran was right, they hadn’t been friends then either. Most days, they had barely been civil. Though he’d known well enough then that Kieran was far too proud to ask for help unless he was desperate, and maybe that had been enough to be worried about him. “So if you were asking me, it had to be important.”
Was that answer enough? Jude sighed, trying to decide if he was taking the easy way out by leaving it there. So –
“Or maybe I didn’t know why, back then,” he considered; better to be thorough. “Maybe I just – did it without thinking.” Jude looked at him, almost rueful; he was perhaps a little abashed to admit it. He hadn’t known then. But Kieran had asked for plenty of favours since, and maybe the first and second reasons he’d given both still rang true, but Jude knew that last reason much better now. Why Kieran could show up on his doorstep and ask for chains, or come drunk to the flat with a rabbit in a cage, or sit in his kitchen with a bloodied ankle, or ask to paint him, and Jude would say yes without thinking every time. Because, to be honest – he’d do anything.
(*lol at finding this eight-year-old thread in seconds just by searching 'magically reinforced' on the old board)
Jude hadn’t found out why for some time.
“Because if someone needs help, they should – have help,” he began, and he believed that, could brush off the question just by saying I would have done it for anyone; but in truth he remembered, too, feeling frustrated by Kieran’s refusal to make sense of the request, and Jude wasn’t sure he would be swayed by the principle alone.
“Because you didn’t like me either,” he reasoned, trying again to explain himself. Yes, Jude had never hated him; but Kieran was right, they hadn’t been friends then either. Most days, they had barely been civil. Though he’d known well enough then that Kieran was far too proud to ask for help unless he was desperate, and maybe that had been enough to be worried about him. “So if you were asking me, it had to be important.”
Was that answer enough? Jude sighed, trying to decide if he was taking the easy way out by leaving it there. So –
“Or maybe I didn’t know why, back then,” he considered; better to be thorough. “Maybe I just – did it without thinking.” Jude looked at him, almost rueful; he was perhaps a little abashed to admit it. He hadn’t known then. But Kieran had asked for plenty of favours since, and maybe the first and second reasons he’d given both still rang true, but Jude knew that last reason much better now. Why Kieran could show up on his doorstep and ask for chains, or come drunk to the flat with a rabbit in a cage, or sit in his kitchen with a bloodied ankle, or ask to paint him, and Jude would say yes without thinking every time. Because, to be honest – he’d do anything.
