"You don't think I'm scared?!" Fallon shouted back, throwing her hands up as she did. Months of suppressing that fateful day, of ignoring just how closely Cartwright's injury had been her own, had left Fallon feeling less secure as an auror than ever. It was why she spent so many hours sparring and dueling, for if she was at the top of her game the odds of it happening to her were that much less. Fallon had scoured the campsite before summoning help, aside from Cartwright being gone she could find no signs of anything being amiss. It was as though he had just disappeared, which meant he couldn't have done anything out of the ordinary to attract attention.
He was just unlucky.
"You don't think I've been struggling with it? That I'm not terrified now every time I'm given field work? Two hours, Jess, that's all that separated them from taking him instead of me. Two bloody hours!" It might have even been less time than that, but Fallon had had to estimate the situation to the best of her ability. That day was a nightmare she'd never quite escape.
Angry, fearful tears spilled down her cheeks as she bit back another slew of angry responses. "You knew exactly who and what I was when you proposed — you knew the sort of life your sister-in-law lives. I was fine being a spinster and never inflicting this on anyone else, but ... you proposed." Her voice broke, her anger fading momentarily to give face to her own grief.
The pause in her anger didn't last long though, and she was soon back to ranting at him, "You wanted me, I'm sorry if I'm failing to live up to your expectations of what marriage would look like. I'm sorry that sparring with Sterling is the only way of surviving I have right now, it isn't as though I can come home and talk to you now, is it?" That was the cusp of the matter too, wasn't it? Somewhere along the way they'd stopped talking to one another, had ceased relying upon the other as a spouse might. It was as though they had boiled themselves down to being two ships passing in the night.
He was just unlucky.
"You don't think I've been struggling with it? That I'm not terrified now every time I'm given field work? Two hours, Jess, that's all that separated them from taking him instead of me. Two bloody hours!" It might have even been less time than that, but Fallon had had to estimate the situation to the best of her ability. That day was a nightmare she'd never quite escape.
Angry, fearful tears spilled down her cheeks as she bit back another slew of angry responses. "You knew exactly who and what I was when you proposed — you knew the sort of life your sister-in-law lives. I was fine being a spinster and never inflicting this on anyone else, but ... you proposed." Her voice broke, her anger fading momentarily to give face to her own grief.
The pause in her anger didn't last long though, and she was soon back to ranting at him, "You wanted me, I'm sorry if I'm failing to live up to your expectations of what marriage would look like. I'm sorry that sparring with Sterling is the only way of surviving I have right now, it isn't as though I can come home and talk to you now, is it?" That was the cusp of the matter too, wasn't it? Somewhere along the way they'd stopped talking to one another, had ceased relying upon the other as a spouse might. It was as though they had boiled themselves down to being two ships passing in the night.