Nov 25th, 1891 — Tycho's House, Wellingtonshire
Macnair was taking a long time to end things. Ford wasn't sure how he felt about it. Partly he was inclined to treat the extra time like a gift. Merlin knew that he had enough on his plate at the moment, with Verity's upcoming wedding, without having to languish in the same aimless despair he'd been experiencing the last time they'd separated. On the other hand, it was hard to take as much comfort in the other man's company as he had earlier this fall, knowing that the end was nigh. Every moment he spent with Macnair was now laced with an underlying anxiety: was this going to be the day that he finally broke things off? Was that particular heavy sigh going to be the heavy sigh at the start of a conversation neither of them wanted to have?
Occasionally he'd thought about pulling the trigger on it himself. Would it be better to end things on his own terms, rather than keep getting wrapped up in it? He was too much of a coward to follow through with it, though — and besides, how much deeper could he get? Ford had already told Macnair he loved him.
(He regretted doing that now).
"Have you ever been to the Chisselfield Horse Races?" he asked Tycho in a tone that sounded almost bored. He was lounging in Tycho's parlor avoiding going home, because when he did there would only be more wedding planning to greet him. "I'm supposed to go with a friend tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm meant to do." The 'friend' being Macnair, who had sent along the invitation. He was making good on his earlier promise of wanting to take Ford places and show him things... maybe trying to tick off all the boxes on things he'd earlier promised before calling things off. Was this relationship going to end in the middle of a horse race? There was something rather depressing about that.
Occasionally he'd thought about pulling the trigger on it himself. Would it be better to end things on his own terms, rather than keep getting wrapped up in it? He was too much of a coward to follow through with it, though — and besides, how much deeper could he get? Ford had already told Macnair he loved him.
(He regretted doing that now).
"Have you ever been to the Chisselfield Horse Races?" he asked Tycho in a tone that sounded almost bored. He was lounging in Tycho's parlor avoiding going home, because when he did there would only be more wedding planning to greet him. "I'm supposed to go with a friend tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm meant to do." The 'friend' being Macnair, who had sent along the invitation. He was making good on his earlier promise of wanting to take Ford places and show him things... maybe trying to tick off all the boxes on things he'd earlier promised before calling things off. Was this relationship going to end in the middle of a horse race? There was something rather depressing about that.
Set by Lady!