No. Of course there was more to it than that but…no. Mabel wanted to push it away instead. She thought she could be brave and confront it head on; at least that’s what she’d wanted to do, but she couldn’t erase the hurt of being second. Which was a surprising revelation to have given that it seemed she’d always been second for her entire life. And if not second, then third or fourth.

“I know.” She whispered quietly, because it was unfair that she’d just opened them up to a conversation that contained multitudes they’d yet to to unravel. “I’m sorry, I just…”

She just, what?

“I don’t understand. Why it couldn’t have been me instead.” Why it couldn’t have been her to take the injury, why it couldn’t have been her to take care of him in the aftermath, why it couldn’t have been her to stay.

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loveliness by mj <3

Fuck. How had he fucked tonight up this badly? He didn't dare draw nearer, too afraid of either being struck or scaring her off. Dory instead stayed a few steps out of reach, just far enough that he wouldn't be able to stop her from walking out the door in time.

But Maple looked so fragile, so sad and broken in the dim light, and he had done that. Not just tonight but for months and years. First with their ending, then with the foolish run ins and injuries. And now - now he didn't know how to guide them back through the muddy waters. He didn't know how to fix what he had so thoroughly broken.

"Please, can we sit?" He pleaded, desperate for a minute to compose his thoughts rather than allowing them to spew out all over the place. She wouldn't believe him if he said that it had always been her, and it wouldn't have been entirely true either. In hindsight, Dory wished he had chose differently and spared the three of them years of pain. He wished he'd allowed Winnie her freedom from their torment instead of clinging to what felt familiar, warm and safe. But he hadn't, and he'd promised himself he'd be truthful with Maple.

"Please." He said again, this time taking a tiny step forward.

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beautiful set by lady

The wind had gone out of her sails, so to speak. She’d tried to make a point with getting away, but following through hadn’t gone according to plan. Mabel sighed, feeling rather lame at this attempt of making a show of something. What had she been aiming to do? Just burst out of his flat and apparate home, then sulk by herself at the end of the night? It wouldn’t do. She knew deep down that none of this the fault of any one particular person. Dory, Winnie, Mabel, they’d all been caught in the consequences of everyone else’s actions including their own. It was even worse a realization than the last, and she felt an uncomfortable sensation in her stomach as she turned to face him.

He’d stepped towards her, the expression on his face full of everything Mabel couldn’t describe but felt at her core.

She reached up to swipe a tear from her cheek and sniffed. Nodded, and took a shuddering breath. “Alright.” She murmured.

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loveliness by mj <3

A heavy sigh of relief left him as she turned back around. Dory still didn't know if there was any possibility of salvaging what they once had, but all possibilities would have vanished entirely if she followed through with leaving. "Alright." He echoed, his shoulders sagging as some of the tension released. Then, after another long moment of silence, he turned to lead her back towards their abandoned tea cups.

(He had a passing thought to settle in the parlor instead. The environment there was cozier, well lived in, and generally easier to relax within. Then, he realized it would be nearly impossible for him to avoid touching her if she began crying again and refused to do so without her consent.)

"I made a lot of mistakes that summer." Dory began once they'd resumed their seats. "Letting you leave was the greatest of them. I'm sorry."

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beautiful set by lady

She could only follow him back to the dining room, and with an echoing sigh she sat down in the chair, curling her fingers around her still warm cup of tea. She half expected he would start off with some placating monologue, but it was instead quite succinct. Unlike the last time he’d given a short answer, Mabel didn’t feel a sting of rejection, or of any sort of generalized frustration. With the expectation that it would be a longer conversation, she merely nodded, felt his apology wash over her anew and felt herself lean back in her chair.

He’d voiced his regrets and gave her only two small words, but they would go to great lengths to start a healing process that Mabel knew would take its sweet time over the next month or so. It was a start. She had a feeling she’d be providing her own forms of apologies over the next hour as well. She took another breath, swallowing. “Why...why did you let me?”

The scenario of that whole day had haunted her as she had replayed variations over and over in her mind to try and erase what had inevitably happened.

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loveliness by mj <3

"It felt ... catastrophic." Dory answered as he leaned forward on his elbows. "The way you left after the way everything fell apart." It all happened at lightning speed. One minute she was his, the next she was gone. Dory hadn't been able to right himself for weeks afterwards, and by the time he had sorted through his thoughts Winnie had come back. It was easier to fall into step with the familiar, easier still to ignore all the complications that laid between him and Maple.

"We were going to be a family and in a blink of an eye you left. I didn't- I didn't know what to think of any of it."

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beautiful set by lady

It was with a sinking, horrible, swooping feeling that Mabel was forced to face the facts. He may have let her go, but she might not have given him any choice. Finally, she felt the tears she’d been holding back spill over. She’d been scared. The idea of raising a family with Dory when she hadn’t been done right by her own family…it had been too much. It had been easier to force his hand; decide it was all for the best and trick herself into believing that it was his decision instead. She took a shuddering breath. We were going to be a family. Even with the realization that she hadn’t been pregnant, the gravity of the situation had already done its damage and come crashing down on her like a ton of bricks.

It felt hard to draw breaths. She covered her mouth to try and minimize the pathetic sounds she made, tried to start to explain what had just gone through her mind and hit her like a bolt of lightning, but she couldn’t. “I’m - I’m sorry, I need…I need a moment.” She managed to say before fleeing, not to the door to leave, but further into the flat to where she supposed the nearest wash room was.

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loveliness by mj <3

He watched in silent horror as something swept through her with such urgency that she fled the room. None of what he said could have been new to her, or so he thought. It wasn't as though he'd revealed some new fact of their history, some missing piece that they'd both ignored. Dory had only shared his side of it, how could that have shocked her so?

Dory waited at least five minutes before following down the hall to check on her. "Maple, are you okay?" He gently asked through the closed washroom door.

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beautiful set by lady

How could she have been so blind? So selfish to think that she had been the one whose hand was forced because of their actions? And now that she’d realized what she’d done, she had to live with it, because where else would she be able to put it? She couldn’t put it on him again. Shut up in the wash room, Mabel slumped to the floor and buried her head in her hands.

It only seemed like a few minutes before she heard him moving down the hall and stop in front of the door. At the sound of his voice, she unfurled herself and reached up to open the door, peering at him. “I’m sorry.” She sighed, wearily as she sniffed. “I think…” She paused to draw another shuddering breath. “I think it just hit me how much I liked the idea…” No, that wasn’t something she could reveal now.

She tried again.

“I don’t think I gave you a choice when it came down to it.” Mabel admitted finally. She let her head fall against the frame of the door as she gazed up at him. “I’m sorry to be weeping so much.” She managed as her voice shook. “But you’re right, it was quite catastrophic. I think it would be still.” She forced out a harsh laugh through the hoarse state that crying had left her voice in. “I mean, could you imagine me as a mother? I barely know my own mother, I should hardly be allowed to take on the mantle!”

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loveliness by mj <3

Although the washroom was by no means small, it was hardly big enough for the two of them to sit comfortably on the floor. However, given that he was neither capable of carrying her nor certain that she would be okay with such an action, he was left with no alternative but to sink down besides her. His iniured leg was uncomfortably bent, his other nearly touching her skirts. Dory kept his head turned towards her, his expression unmistakably sad. This wasn't how her life was meant to turn out. Maple deserved so much more than this.

"I could very easily picture you as a mother." Dory said firmly. After all, he'd only envisioned it countless times over the years. "An incredible one at that. It will happen for you and it's okay to want it. Hell, I -" he paused, swallowing the words that were about to come out. It took him quite some time to realize that he too desired to be a parent. That having a family was something that had become appealing rather than frightening. And while Dory would have had no issues discussing those desires with her, he didn't want to discuss how he'd come to those conclusions or make her feel pressured in any way to choose him as her partner.

"Everyone is afraid of how they will be as a parent. Everyone. I have watched most of my siblings go through that same fear, and they've all managed to be wonderful parents. Our upbringings aren't what's important - loving your children is what matters. Doing your best for them. You will be a wonderful mother some day because that's what you will try to do for them - your very best."

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beautiful set by lady

She let out a huff of laughter. If Dory could picture her as a mother, that only made one of them. But she appreciated the sentiment, and a soft smile appeared on her face as she looked at him, sitting there on the floor with her. Mabel listened to his voice as he spoke, feeling comforted by the mere timbre of it reverberating throughout the wash room.

It was quite funny, in a way. She’d forgotten what a grounding effect he’d had on her; like every problem that she had was diminished just a little knowing that he would help her solve it. But of course, that wasn’t how they were together anymore. They’d avoided each other (possibly the same amount on both sides) for so long that any magnetism Mabel felt towards him had to be quashed immediately. But how lovely it felt just to sit here and talk to him; confide in him and know that what ever he said would be something Mabel could trust.

Perhaps they’d broken with each other, but upon further reflection…did she ever really lose her trust in him?

That answer came easily to her. But with that came another realization; that despite the distance that spanned between them and their break, despite the fact that Mabel knew what she wanted in this moment; that perhaps it was all too sudden, still. Too raw.

She sighed. “Thank you, Dory.” She whispered, smiling genuinely this time, though her eyes were still glassy. “I could see…” She paused, her heart thumping in her chest. No, she couldn’t say the same to him, that she could see him as a wonderful father, because it would make her sudden desires all too real, and she’d just resolved to go slow. “I echo the very same sentiment.”

Then in the same breath, “Do you think…do you think we might try being friends again?”

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loveliness by mj <3