July 29th, 1891 — Fallon and Malou's Flat

It was a truth universally acknowledged that Fallon Abernathy ought to never be permitted within the kitchen. She possessed no natural cooking abilities, and those learned were only done so through sheer determination to pass the survival courses of her training. In fact, Fallon had had to cook for herself fewer than a dozen times since the spring of 1887, relying instead on Malou, Kieran, and her favorite frequented pubs for nourishment.

However, in trying to prove that she was, in fact, making an effort to meet Jesse halfway, Fallon had gone through the frustrating effort of preparing a bland, borderline inedible stew. She had had to heal several cuts on her fingers (including one that she likely ought to have sought out medical attention for), nearly burned herself on the stock pot, and was now completely exhausted well before her typical bedtime. But, if Jesse was going to finally put an end to their misery, it would be because of his inability to compromise, not hers.

Determined to appear casual despite the pit of dread in her stomach, Fallon was dressed in her slacks and a button down shirt. Her hair was undone, the loose auburn waves spilling down her shoulders to the center of her back. She appeared as she was every day after work: comfortable but still funcrional. Her nerves would only be visible if he truly focused on the slight and infrequent tremble of her hands. Jesse had always managed to read her like an open book, he would no longer be permitted to do so. Not until she knew they had arrived to a mutual decision of marrying or not.

Merlin, she hoped he wasn't about to leave her.

With the stew set to simmer on the stove and her nerves handled, Fallon settled on the arm chair furthest from the floo with a stack of paperwork. Several of her cases were heading to trial in the next three weeks and she had to prepare for her testimony. At the very least, it was a decent distraction from waiting for Jesse.

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Jess knew things were in a shitty spot. Avoidance was the worst tactic, but he didn't have any clue how to manage this. He loved her, obviously he did, but they were at two vastly different places in life. He was ready to settle down; she wasn't and he couldn't tell when she would be. Once he'd forced himself to grow up and accept adult responsibilities, Jess had a vague plan, a timeline in which he thought things should go. None of this fit on that timeline and he was struggling to adapt.

Clearly he'd let the silence between them go on for too long, but he really still wasn't any closer to to a workable solution in which they would both be happy. Even talking to Gabe and Molly about it hadn't helped. The roles were reversed certainly, but the way Jess watched Molly handle so much on her own because his brother was at work was a hard tonic to swallow. That would be him and he couldn't honestly say if he could do it, which of course, was the root of his problems. This level of insecurity in their relationship and in the future wasn't something he felt prepared to deal with. Gabe had been able to talk some sense into him, after all, he and Molly did make it work, but Jess rather thought that he and Fallon were in the opposite roles made things trickier than necessary.

He'd thought about this for longer than he should have, what he was willing to compromise on and what he wasn't. Like Gabe had said, did he love her more than he hated her job, which yes, he did, but he really could only wait so long. He'd come up with a number and a couple things they needed to settle before they could either go forward or go their separate ways, pending on what they agreed on, so he figured it was time to actually have the discussion.

His meeting had gotten out a little early and so he'd gone home briefly to dump all of his things unceremoniously in his living room (perk of living alone) and grab an apple to hold him over before he figured out dinner. With that taken care of, he flooed to her place to find her sitting in an armchair, buried in Mount Paperwork. Ironic how their joke once upon a time was now a huge irritant for him. "Hey there Trouble," He greeted softly, a small, apprehensive smile on his lips.

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Fallon was midway through her third file's worth of notes when the floo activated. As odd as the thought was, she had almost convinced herself he wouldn't follow through with showing up tonight. Thus far, Jesse had always remained true to his word, but Fallon was a coward at heart who dreaded confrontation over emotional matters. Him not following through would have provided her an adequate enough excuse to flee.

Except, he followed through. He was here, and Fallon wasn't sure whether to be overjoyed or to rage and sob. A month. After letting her leave the way he had he had avoided her for over a month. And, unlike Fallon's disappearances, he had no legitimate excuse other than not wanting to be around her.

Fallon closed her file and discarded it atop the pile before greeting him with a tight lipped smile. "Hey." For the first time since it happened, Fallon understood why Jesse hadn't wished to drag out their almost break up. More than anything, she wished he'd just get on with it. "You wanted to talk?"

  

Jess perched himself on the arm of the other chair, unsure of how to settle when things were like this between them. "I do, yes. I apologize that it took so long for me to sort my head out." He was sorry about that, but this was not a decision he could rush.

"I uh, talked to Gabe," He'd also talked to Molly, but they spoke often so that wasn't necessarily anything to add. Fortunately his brother's added assurances about keeping Fallon safe had helped, so did the metaphorical slap upside the head. "And I remembered that I love you more than I hate your job." That much was true at the very base of everything, and hopefully the most important. Hopefully it would be enough. It wasn't the most graceful way to say it either, but he was long past trying to mince his words "That was never really the question though." He hoped she knew that.

Jess huffed out a shaky breath. "But I have my limits," He was human after all. "I can wait five years," That was reasonable right? "To start a family, but I do not want to have children while you are still in the aurors office." It was too risky, too much on him as the one at home and just thinking about it would get him spiraling again.

"With that said, where that leaves us, is with you being alright with moving on at that point, in addition to being thirty and starting a family." He'd still be in a normal range to be an active father, which was how he'd decided on five years. He had a couple of other minor things that weighed on his mind, but he thought that was the biggest one to get out of the way. Jess chanced a look at her face, having been trying to look in her general direction, but avoiding direct eye contact.

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Hearing him outright claim to hate her chosen career was an undeniable insult, one Fallon had to bite back and stomach as he continued on. Becoming an auror was proudest moment in her life, something concrete that defined her and proved she had managed to achieve some level of success. But Jesse -who never struggled or wanted for anything, who came from a nice family with a nice mother and a comfortable home - would never understand her perspective on this. For him, a career in the ministry was always in the cards, just as the independent living and success was. For him, her career was an inconvenience and nothing more.

But still, five years was more than she was asking for, really, as Fallon would have agreed to four. With eight years of experience she would be able to instruct other incoming aurors. She would still be able to utilize her skills, still feel useful, while maintaining a steady schedule. Fallon blinked in surprise, her thoughts struggling to keep up with the sudden turn in trajectory. He wasn't leaving, they were making a plan.

They would be alright, somehow. Maybe.

"Would you be alright if I was an instructor in the department?" She asked. "You can ask Selwyn, they have dependable hours and schedules. The only sort of event that would keep me from being home would be a full scale emergency, but even you would likely be called in in such an event." Her explanation came out in more of a relieved ramble than a steady answer.

Five years. The thought of him being willing to wait provided Fallon with a small amount of hope. Sure, she was to abandon her destined path, but that path had never been an achievable goal to begin with. What sane person would vote in the daughter of an alcoholic and a whore to be the minister of magic? What sane person would ever trust her with matters of state, with instances of emergencies and scandals? Realistically, Fallon was lucky to have finished school and continued on this far. Most women of her sort were servants or worse. She could stomach only pressing on for five more years, they both could.

"I don't want to wait five years to marry you." Fallon then added as she sat forward in her seat. "Children and a bigger home and all that can wait. But I don't ever want to wonder whether or not you're going to stick around again. No, I won't do it. We've caused each other enough harm in that regard. So, this is it. No more running or thinking or having to figure things out. That's over. Either we're in this or we're not."

  

Jess nearly laughed at her offer— only because he could easily go a whole lifetime without talking to Selwyn ever again. "As long as you think it's safe enough to be pregnant through." An instructor would probably be alright. He sometimes wondered how long it would take Gabe to switch himself, but Jess wasn't stupid enough to ask outright.

A tentative smile pulled at the corner of his lips. This was good, this was progress, moving in the right direction toward a plan they could both live with. "I don't want to wait for that either," They would have to figure out how to best prevent pregnancy between now and then, but that could be a later discussion. He also had figured out he would prefer she keep Mount Paperwork at the office and come home later (with an owl ahead of course) rather than be ignored for it at home. Again, that could be figured out at another time.

He rose from his perch and moved to crouch in front of her chair. "I'm in if you are." Gently he reached out to brush her hair behind her ear, finding that ache for her rising now that he had her at his fingertips. It had been a long month.

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The following 2 users Like Jesse Hatchitt's post:2 users Like Jesse Hatchitt's post
   Fallon Gillespie, Zelda Darrow

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Any instructor dealing with dueling or combat wouldn't be safe enough to teach whilst pregnant, but there would hopefully be other options further down the line. Something involving potions or survival skills maybe. Perhaps in time she would be more willing to step away from the auror's office too, maybe serve as a lawyer instead. There were options now, paths that seemed impossible only yesterday. Fallon smiled at Jesse, the tension slipping from her shoulders. Somehow or another they would find a way through.

Leaning forward, Fallon's knees pushed into his as she looked into his eyes. "I guess the only question left then is when." She murmured softly. Technically, she shouldn't marry until October at the earliest. Daniel deserved a full mourning period...but in this singular moment Fallon couldn't fathom going another three months like this. If he asked, she would marry him on the spot, the consequences be damned.

  

When indeed. Jess was well-aware of the societal parameters they were forced to follow, not to mention familial influences on his side he was going to have to deal with, but he could handle those. "I think we should respect your mourning period." He said it lightly because he didn't really want to wait that long, but there was no need to rush, they were already engaged and that wasn't likely to change. Even his visit here tonight was not technically against the "rules," but he didn't want to push anything. Watching Kirke go through everything he was currently going through had Jesse toeing the line probably a little more closely than normal. Plus it gave him some time to find a house for them and get a few things straightened out.

"However, once that is up, we can get married however you want to." His mother's opinions be damned. If Fallon didn't want the big wedding his mother did, if she wanted something small or nothing at all, he would make it happen. He certainly owed her that much after this.

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Respecting Daniel's death and Fallon's subsequent mourning was the correct option, she knew. However, Fallon couldn't help but feel as though things would fall apart again between now and then. They'd had so few stretches of lasting peace that she wasn't sure they ever would. This was, obviously, unlikely as they were still determined to get married. However, the fact of her reluctance remained.

"Okay," she agreed, leaning forward to kiss him softly. "October then. You, me, our family." Nothing elaborate or heavily populated. Fallon would likely only have Malou and Kieran standing with her for it. Perhaps some of Kieran's friends. "Ireland straight after."

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Jess met the kiss with little sigh and finally felt his shoulders relax all of the way. Good, this was good. They could do this.

"Small, backyard wedding. Ireland right after. I will handle that." That was easy. He could take her to the west coast, down to the seaside. A small fishing town with a little pub and breathtaking views. He knew exactly what to do there. The wedding itself could be handled. Perhaps Connie would help him. His sister was pretty good at handling their mother and she too hadn't wanted anything huge for her wedding.

He leaned in to brush his lips gently against hers again. "I love you, Trouble."

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The stink Mrs. Hatchitt was likely to cause over these decisions was the least of Fallon's concern as Jesse moved in once more. After months of bickering and frustration they were finally moving forward as a team. She threaded her fingers through his hair, her body instinctively shifting forward to be that much closer to his. "I love you too, JP." She murmured before once more getting lost in his kiss.

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