Tried not to think about it at all. That was a fair reaction, though not one that they could afford to employ for much longer. Ozymandias didn't have much experience with these things, but he knew enough to know it would only get more difficult to resolve the more time stretched on. He might have asked her how long it had been, except he thought he probably already knew — assuming, anyway, that he was the only candidate for paternity. But she hardly would have come to him with the news unless she were sure, he thought, because he was positively the worst candidate for paternity, full stop.

"The cost to get rid of it," he replied: no emotion, all business. It was a foregone conclusion that she would have to get rid of it, obviously. She knew he was married, and that he was swearing in as Minister in a week. He couldn't marry her, or set her up in some country cottage as a full-time mistress. The scandal would bury them if he made so much as a gesture that could be construed as acknowledgement... and even without the election results looming overhead, he would never have put the Dempsey estate at risk by raising a bastard child. He did not particularly care whether the estate passed to children that were directly descended from him or whether it went instead to a niece or nephew, but he did care that it was whole; he would never be the cause of competing claims to the inheritance after he was gone.

"I can find something, if you don't know where to look," he offered, thinking that perhaps her confusion stemmed from ignorance — perhaps she simply hadn't been aware of the options. Oz wouldn't have considered himself an expert, since he'd never had to use any of them in the past, but he'd heard enough chatter about it between men at the club to know at least where to start an inquiry. Actually, he hoped that was the case and she'd let him do all the research and acquisition for it — then at least he could feel as though he'd upheld his half of the bargain in this issue, rather than only being good for throwing money at the problem.

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MJ is the light of my life <3

Sophia didn’t want to hear what Oz had to say on the matter at all. But she knew him, so she knew he would have things to say. For some reason or another, she hoped he would say the right things. She hoped his promises from just a minute ago were genuine.

She should’ve known.

Did know– even if her body iced as if she didn’t when he said get rid of it. Like one might wave away a newspaper they’ve already read or a dish they were too full to eat-- like nothing. For a fleeting second, doubt even flickered in the back of her mind. Maybe this really was nothing? She’s noticed a change in herself lately, even before she fell pregnant. Feelings and thoughts that felt warped and not entirely her own. A certain melancholy that weighed on her shoulders and remained even after she shed mourning wear, something that got worse with her daughter was cursed. No matter what she did, death, death, death followed her everywhere. Now it followed her even here, her single reprieve with Oz. Was it so wrong of her, then, to finally find a glimmer of life and think twice about snuffing it out?

“I know where to look,” she cut in scathingly. Sophia tried to recover herself, sucking in a sharp breath even as she felt splotches of pink growing on her cheekbones. “What if I don’t want to.” Though intended to be a question, it didn’t come out sounding that way.

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   Ozymandias Dempsey

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thank you gin for the set<3

"Don't want to what?" he'd asked before he could stop himself, because it was inconceivable to him that she hadn't already thought this through and reached the same conclusion he had. There weren't options in this situation. There wasn't a range of paths forward, each of which could be thought through and discussed and measured against each other. This wasn't a fork in the road; it was a pit they'd fallen into, and there was only one way to climb out of it.

But her tone was rough and her cheeks were pink and she said she didn't want to, so apparently she hadn't reached the same conclusion.

"Sophia," he said — practically scoffed, which was the unfortunate side effect of how thoroughly she'd thrown him off-guard with this statement; when he was out of his depth he defaulted to disdain. "You can't keep it. Don't be absurd."

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MJ is the light of my life <3

Sophia felt thoroughly out of her depth, like the smallest toy boat tossed out into a turbulent sea. There was no footing for her to find here, but she made sure to stand tall regardless. She's faced vampires for Merlin's sake-- she knew this man. Her hand pressed firmly on Ozy's chest to push him away.

Defiance was always on the tip of her tongue, and it lashed out now that his earnest tone turned to disdain. "I certainly can," she countered, voice remarkably even for the way her heart raced. In self-defense, she sank the proverbial knife into him. "I think it is a boy." It seemed an awful lot like how she felt with her boy, and that's what the tea leaves suggested, anyway. Among other things.

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thank you gin for the set<3

Well, fuck. A baby was bad enough, but a boy was worse. She had no real way of knowing that, of course, but even the fact that she'd thought it through was disconcerting — she'd gone farther than he'd realized down this path that ought to have been a nonstarter. He reached up to run both hands through his hair in exasperation. He was violently frustrated, and he wasn't sure exactly what had brought it on — maybe when she'd pushed him away, maybe the preemptive weariness of what lay ahead of him while he tried to persuade her of painful facts that ought to have been obvious, maybe just the situation as a whole. God, Sina was waiting for him at home.

"You can't," he insisted, tone harsh. "You can't dance in that state. Even if someone married you and covered the scandal, you'd lose your income. And I can't support you if you're — I can't. I won't," he said, jaw firmly set. Nothing that could be construed as acknowledgement or support — nothing that would give a bastard child a leg to stand on if they tried to claim later that they ought to have rights to the estate. He could make his own mistakes so long as they were self-contained; he wouldn't let this become something that would threaten his entire family's legacy. "Is that what you want, to end up destitute with three extra mouths to feed? Think of your children, Soph," he said. "Think of how they'll be treated if you go through with this."

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MJ is the light of my life <3

The thing was, Sophia did know. It was Oz’s own fault that he didn’t know much about her, her decidedly middle class upbringing, her rich bitch of a sister, the wealth the surrounded and sponsored her life’s passion this whole while. A bastard, a boy in particular, could spell disaster. So she knew. This hadn’t been what she set out to do, much less the route she thought their conversation would take (not that she thought too far ahead, what routes they would take). Anger and spite simmered in her blood now.

At the very least Oz gave way to her push, and she felt like she could take a deep breath again. None of this stopped how sick she felt. “Don’t,” she warned, eyes darkening as he mentioned her children. “Don’t pretend for a damn second that any of this is for mine or my children’s sake. You think I don’t know?” Now she was the one who scoffed, the air feeling tense enough to slice it with a knife and serve it.

“Do you think the risks are not abundantly obvious to me, as their mother?” Her children could suffer at first, but they were resilient. Her career would be over, at least here and now. Her time in London may come to a close as well, she never counted on her dalliance turning into the bloody Minister. She could even die, god knows her last birth was meant to be just that – her last. But the decision to keep this baby was meant to be hers, and hers alone.

Though Sophia had created distance between them, now she advanced on him. “I’ve blown up every part of my life before, you know. Twice. I’ve started from nothing, and have been left to put the pieces back together again all on my own.” First when she fled London and her engagement to a proper gentleman, again when she fled Russia after her husband’s demise. “If I must, I can do it again.”

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thank you gin for the set<3

Don't pretend it's for my sake she'd said, but if not hers than whose? The simplest solution for him would have been to turn and walk out the door the moment she'd said she was pregnant. Merlin knew many men in his position did the same all the time. If he cut ties now, and maybe used some of his influence to ensure no one she cared to talk to about this was willing to listen, he could come out of this unscathed. She couldn't — not if she insisted on going down this path.

"You don't have to blow up your life," he argued — his irritation evident in his tone now. "None of this needs to happen. We can just go back to the way things were. You're —" he paused, huffed. "You're not on your own. You're just — willingly choosing to go where I can't follow. And it's bloody stupid."

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MJ is the light of my life <3

Ozymandias had a way of making his words sound like lashings. For each one Sophia found another arch of spiteful ire that pushed her violently forward, until finally he declared that it’s bloody stupid, and then she brought both hands to his chest and shoved him. “Stop saying I’m not on my own!”

She was. That was the problem, wasn’t it? He was a married man, one faithful to his family and now his bloody country, and she was alone.

Time stood still. Sophia realized, in that moment, why she had struggled endlessly with telling him the truth. Whatever Oz said, things could never simply go back to how they were. If she did as he wanted, Soph knew she’ll only ever see the ghost of what could’ve been. If she did what she wanted, then Soph knew she would lose him completely. This was the end of their road no matter how she looked at it. And though she knew it would come eventually, it unexpectedly ached.

Sophia felt hot pinpricks in her eyes, and quickly drew the back of her hand against her cheek to whisk the tear away. “Leave, Oz,” she breathed. “Go back to your wife.”

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thank you gin for the set<3

She shoved him again, and Oz was so frustrated he could have reciprocated if chivalry hadn't been beaten into him in every Hogwarts etiquette class he'd ever attended. She had started with promise not to be angry and when she'd told him the news he hadn't been, but he was now — because this was not just an unfortunate situation they had found themselves in by accident, it was an unfortunate situation she was purposefully inflicting on the pair of them. And for what? What was she meant to gain by this? Ozymandias had never personally seen the appeal of children, but he'd had plenty of friends prattle on about the supposed benefits. Everything he'd ever heard didn't seem to apply in this context. She was taking the path that was riskier for both of them in terms of reputation, and ruinous for her socially and financially, and she was throwing away their entire relationship, and she stood to gain nothing!

For fuck's sake, let me help you, he thought, but what he said — practically hissed — was: "You'll regret this." She would regret it in ten minutes, if he had to guess, or an hour, or three — but if she did make it through to the finish line on this ill-conceived venture she would certainly regret it at least once a day for several years. That much was obvious, whatever she said about how she was strong enough to do it all alone.

But she wasn't willing to listen to him now, that much was clear — so he supposed he had no choice but to do as she instructed. Go back to your wife — bah! As though he would have been able to be in the same room as Thomasina after this. She'd sense his bad mood a mile off. He'd have to make an excuse when he came home, maybe spend the rest of the night in his laboratory. Better yet, maybe he'd go somewhere else and not come home for another few hours and buy himself some time to wind down that way.

"Write me when you come to your senses," he snapped as he moved to the door.

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MJ is the light of my life <3

You’ll regret this. The ballerina’s expression darkened and she let out a hollow, derisive laugh. The sentiment stung, but anger was louder than anguish. “Trust that I regret everything already,” she spat out before she could think better of it. As much as she liked her time with Oz, she now resented every moment. Clearly, he was like the rest. Sophia came into this relationship knowing that of him already, but somewhere along the way she forgot herself. And now she was here again – alone, because she could not tolerate more death...

She demanded him leave and he graciously obliged; she didn’t want to scream for help or apparate out in half-dress but she would, if he dared. Instead he seemed to think he had a figment of hope or prayer! He must be delusional to think she’d write to him! “Do me the favor of holding your breath while you await my notice,” she snapped back, and punctuated her sentiment with a brusque wave of her hand that slammed the door behind him.

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thank you gin for the set<3