May 1891
It began with a dream.
It was always the same dream, too. They were dancing, her hand warm in his, a laugh on their lips at something whispered, their happiness blinding them to all others in the room. He’d awake from the deepest of sleep with panic in his chest and the ghost of a name on his lips. Her name. He could never remember it fully, couldn’t place where he’d heard it before or knew her from, but he knew he had loved her once. Theirs was the type of love the romance novels spoke of, the sort of love that came only once in a lifetime. And, try as he might, he could never bring her fully into focus. She was always a half step out of focus, almost as though someone had smudged her photograph just beyond recognition.
Days, weeks, and months went by with the same dream repeating night after night even as he worked himself to exhaustion. In this time, he was given a new name, Julien, by his ship’s captain and with it another sense of devastating loss. Only this time, there was no ghost haunting him, no lingering memory to try and cling to. There was nothing but the dizzying sense of familiarity, of a life once full of joy that was now as lost as his memories.
A year went by and Julien became an adequate sailor, his previously soft hands cracking and bleeding until they were rough and worn. He found purpose in learning this new trade with the skills being taught a distraction against the despair always lurking beneath the surface. However, this new life of his was never enough to cease his dreams, nor did it stop him from searching in every port town for her. For even a glimmer of this woman who haunted his senses so intensely.
Then, slowly - all too slowly - the dreams began to evolve. The dancing continued, but she would squeeze his hand, a beautiful smile gracing her features. A strand of her black hair broke free of its bun to fall into her face, another laugh, another whispered comment. Slowly, the dream led to the memory of her. Until, at last - at last! - he could picture her clearly throughout the day. Until finally -
Diana.
It was always the same dream, too. They were dancing, her hand warm in his, a laugh on their lips at something whispered, their happiness blinding them to all others in the room. He’d awake from the deepest of sleep with panic in his chest and the ghost of a name on his lips. Her name. He could never remember it fully, couldn’t place where he’d heard it before or knew her from, but he knew he had loved her once. Theirs was the type of love the romance novels spoke of, the sort of love that came only once in a lifetime. And, try as he might, he could never bring her fully into focus. She was always a half step out of focus, almost as though someone had smudged her photograph just beyond recognition.
Days, weeks, and months went by with the same dream repeating night after night even as he worked himself to exhaustion. In this time, he was given a new name, Julien, by his ship’s captain and with it another sense of devastating loss. Only this time, there was no ghost haunting him, no lingering memory to try and cling to. There was nothing but the dizzying sense of familiarity, of a life once full of joy that was now as lost as his memories.
A year went by and Julien became an adequate sailor, his previously soft hands cracking and bleeding until they were rough and worn. He found purpose in learning this new trade with the skills being taught a distraction against the despair always lurking beneath the surface. However, this new life of his was never enough to cease his dreams, nor did it stop him from searching in every port town for her. For even a glimmer of this woman who haunted his senses so intensely.
Then, slowly - all too slowly - the dreams began to evolve. The dancing continued, but she would squeeze his hand, a beautiful smile gracing her features. A strand of her black hair broke free of its bun to fall into her face, another laugh, another whispered comment. Slowly, the dream led to the memory of her. Until, at last - at last! - he could picture her clearly throughout the day. Until finally -
Diana.
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