Can't you feel the weight of my stare
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say, is that
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss

14th February, 1884 — Fat Lady's Corridor
Begonia Belby

There really was no other way to explain it: this day had clearly been conjured up by some insidious malcontent for the express purpose of upsetting the careful, painstakingly maintained facade of her life. Any other day she would have simply blamed Peeves but she had no clear proof that Valentine's Day as a whole was his fault - he did pre-date it being a day where everybody insisted on being altogether over-familiar with one another though (she had checked in the library), so perhaps it really was his fault that she was enduring her current torture?

Begonia had been caught in the same trap outside the library, because of course she had, and with the option of kissing each other in front of the others who were also being shooed out by Mrs Aesalon and her rattling keys - the implications of which frightened the life out of Lena - or to sit on the floor until it wore off, which the librarian had assured them didn't take longer than a few hours, the Gryffindor had immediately insisted on the second. At which point everybody else had promptly wandered off, potential spectacle over, and Lena had begun to wonder whether this was the world's cruelest and most ironic jest.

"Are you warm enough?" Lena asked, adjusting her wand from one hand to the other where it was throwing out gentle heat that was just about stopping her extremities from going numb. It was much simpler to focus on the charm rather than think about the fact that they could be in bed already if only she had the stupid courage to- or be in the same bed no! They just had to wait, that was all. She bit her lip and risked looking sideways, almost crumbling at how pretty Begonia looked in the light from the dying torches on the walls. "I'm sure it won't take long."

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   February Umbridge

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MJ: still raising the graphics bar as of 2022

Begonia was simply going to die, either of waiting here or of sexual frustration. She had been trying to come up with a way to kiss Lena for months, now, fantasizing about it when they were in class and she studied her roommate in profile. But she had never intended on actually acting on it, and now she had an excuse. Lena was evidently opposed. B had been so horrifically embarrassed at the concept of this that she had not managed to say anything until the crowd cleared, and now they were waiting for the mistletoe to fail. Which it would do if she just simply kissed Marlena, which she could not do, because Marlena did not want to kiss her. So: she was going to die.

She had been studying her fingernails, because she was trying not to look sad, which she was. But she could not help but throw a sort of wide-eyed vaguely morose expression Marlena's way when she asked her a question. "I think so," B said, tugging down the ends of her robe sleeves, "My bum's going a little numb, though, but that's probably just the floor."

She would be less opposed to this if they were in the comfortable common room chairs.

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   February Umbridge

Begonia didn’t seem entirely her usual self but Lena would concede that being slightly overly invested as she was she did have a tendency to notice even momentary flickers that made her worry unnecessarily about her friend’s state of mind. It was exhausting, but she couldn’t help either thing, the noticing or the worrying, and she couldn’t conceive of a time when her first thought wouldn’t be towards Begonia. So it was worth the mental energy.

“Here,” she swirled her wand neatly, conjuring two pillows that lifted them both an inch or so higher though she still had to tilt her head up slightly towards the other girl. “I am sorry about this B. I’d offer to throttle Peeves but it’s utterly impossible.” Imagining it offered her some distraction though, which she welcomed greedily: anything was better than thinking about what she really wanted to do but knew she oughtn’t. Not because Begonia wouldn’t kiss her, she probably would, to get out of this predicament at least. But if she did then she was sure Begonia would just know how she felt somehow and the thought of being looked at with pity, or worse – her greatest fear – like she was wrong, by Begonia of all people.

It was easier to suffer the floor.

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   Edric Umbridge, February Umbridge

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MJ: still raising the graphics bar as of 2022

The pillow helped her butt, admittedly, but did nothing for the ache in B's chest. Lena was so smart. She was good with a wand and good with books, and Begonia was just - puttering along until she inevitably debuted. Not that anyone would ever marry her now; Cyrus' very public incident had made sure of that.

"It's not your fault at all," Begonia said, although she was still unable to prevent herself from sounding morose. No, it was all Peeves - Peeves and Begonia, because she was to blame for the painful feelings churning up her insides. Normal girls didn't feel like this; Marlena certainly didn't.

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   Elladora Black

If she were being sensible Lena knew she would agree with the entirely reasonable assessment but still she felt pangs of guilt. If she had not insisted on staying in the library so late , if she had thought to wonder what the Slytherin girls by the library door were giggling about, if, if, if...

But she had not done these things and the reason was sat next to her. She had been far too engrossed in enjoying the long session of comfortable silence with B to notice the passing of time and then she had just been distracted by the way the other girl moved, how the muscles in her arms flexed under the weight of her school bag and her graceful throat shone pearly white in the dim torchlight. Merlin, she wanted to touch her so much she could cry.

“At least there’s nobody else here anymore,” which could only be a good thing if it meant there were fewer people to see how frequently her eyes flickered towards B, and then looked away flustered. “Just you and me.”

  

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MJ: still raising the graphics bar as of 2022

Begonia grinned. "You're right," she said, "I thought I was going to die when everyone was watching." Well, she had mostly thought that because she was convinced that someone would look at her and know how desperately she wanted to kiss Marlena. But things were so much easier with no one watching.

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It was comforting to think that feeling was mutual at least and Lena smiled shyly back. Begonia’s smile was far too bright to be ignored and she was drawn in like a moth going willingly to the flame, though she usually had the sense to pull back at the last minute, when she was nearly, but not quite, close enough to be burned.

”I certainly don’t want gawpers hovering when I have my first kiss,”

Begonia knew, she had to know, that Lena had never done that, but she still blushed with embarrassment at admitting it out loud. She must sound so pathetic!

  

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MJ: still raising the graphics bar as of 2022

The corners of Begonia's mouth twitched into a half-smile. Her face flushed pink nonetheless - my first kiss made her think of Lena kissing, which made her think of kissing Lena, which reminded her, of course, that she really wanted to kiss Lena. The mistletoe above them wanted her to kiss Lena, too. And was that really so terrible?

Yes. It was, because then Lena would know that Begonia liked her so much, and then everything would be ruined. Everything.

"I've never kissed anyone either," Begonia admitted quietly. She thought that February had, but she had never, and still she could imagine exactly how Lena's lips would feel on hers.

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   Elsie Kirke, Marlena Scamander

Marlena could not help the feeling of contentment the confirmation gave her. She knew, of course, that one day soon Begonia would be kissing somebody - and that somebody would not be her - but for now at least she didn’t have to imagine B being held by some faceless man with groping hands who would not appreciate what he had. Who would treat B like she was a prize to be won when really she was a treasure to be loved.

”I suppose that’s as it ought to be,” she smiled wryly. ”Us being such proper young ladies and all.” She blushed and found herself locking eyes with Begonia without really meaning to. “Though I can’t think of a single boy I’d even want to kiss.”

  

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MJ: still raising the graphics bar as of 2022

"Really?" B asked, quirking an eyebrow at Marlena. She could think of boys she wanted to kiss. She could also think of girls she wanted to kiss, which was of course where the problem lay.

"Is there anyone you want to kiss?" she asked, because apparently she loved torturing herself.

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Anyone, Marlena’s brain picked out with the same acumen she had honed through deciphering runes and mapping stars. It was a little detail, but she had all but said she didn’t want to kiss boys and now…

Anyone. Did B know? Had she guessed? She didn’t seem to be recoiling in horror as Lena had imagined she would do if she got even the slightest hint of what she truly felt. In fact she seemed interested, perhaps even intrigued.

“There is one person,” Lena admitted cautiously.

  

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Begonia leaned closer, an involuntary gesture as she sought closeness with Lena. 'Do I know them?" she asked, experiencing a tiny flare of jealousy at the thought of this gentleman.

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Marlena swallowed heavily, eyes flickering to the other girl's lips as B had suddenly become so close she could have counted her eyelashes if her mind had not been consumed by other, much more pressing concerns. She moved in a little closer herself, barely an inch at first but it was enough for Lena to be taken by her own momentum and lean forward to press a gentle kiss to the corner of Begonia's mouth.

She lingered longer than she ought; longer than could feasibly be called friendly but long enough that she could store it away forever.

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MJ: still raising the graphics bar as of 2022

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Begonia's heart twinged in her chest. Was this actually happening? It had to be - Marlena's mouth was soft against hers, like in a dream, but Begonia's butt was numb and her hands were closed and she still remembered that embarrassment. They were really kissing. Holy shit. Begonia's eyes were open because she was so startled, but she reached to grab at the lapels of Lena's robes, pulling her closer.

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Somewhere above the two of their heads the mistletoe retreated, having completed its mischievous work for now but Marlena would hardly have noticed if half the castle had crumbled around them. Begonia - a very real, very present Begonia that was not simply in her dreaming mind - was kissing her in a way that she was quite sure was above and beyond what they actually needed to do to free themselves, and Begonia must know that because everybody knew that after seeing others break away from the mistletoe so it could only really mean one thing.

Dear Merlin, was she really being given this utter gift?

She melted into the kiss easily, quite sure she was doing everything wrong and being clumsy yet also quite sure she didn’t care. Tentatively her hand came up, hovering for an awkward moment before she reached out and brushed her fingertips against Begonia’s jawline, soft skin beneath the buds of her fingers making her sigh against the other girl’s lips and press their lips harder together.

Don't end, she thought desperately. Please don't end.

  

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MJ: still raising the graphics bar as of 2022

Eventually the kiss ended, because all kisses had to end eventually, but mostly actually because Begonia had to breathe. She held onto Lena's robes, though, and wanted desperately to kiss her again. Something in her buzzed with warmth. "I like you," Begonia confessed, because the kiss had laid all her pretenses bare - it wasn't as if she could lie after that.

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