To him, her shoes smelled like an old rag soaked in three-day old water and it was divinity incarnate. Who knew she smelled like his most favourite thing in the entire world (next to the smell of a fresh sponge, of course).

Woopy please, she begged and it sent a deep rush through his spine. She was perhaps the only person in the world to know which buttons to press to allow him to succumb to her every whim and desire.

When she mentioned her feet being cold, Woopy moved from her foot (to his chagrin, having left her shoe on) and snapped his fingers causing the stone beneath her feet to become uncomfortably hot to the touch. There! Now he was being helpful! Even if for some reason he could smell burning fabric. No matter, she was certainly warm now!

“We stay here if you want! Woopy just want be with you!” He let out another sigh and dropped to the floor allowing himself to fall back into a daze of ecstasy. By the time he’d laid down, the stone had cooled down and his eyes were closed.

“Woopy never think a human would love him or he love a human but.. ah… Woopy and you will marry.”

Nothing could ruin this moment.
Nothing could take it from him.
Even if people said it was wrong, unnatural, scandalous; he didn’t matter.
This feeling was real. Everything about this was real and it was fantastical and magical and beyond all else, it was absolutely and undeniably Charming.

---

  

---

Was there no winning with this elf? Seriously. She gets him off the shoe and then.. what the actual hell?!

Leaping away because her feet were literally on fire. The soles of her shoes were hot and the edges were starting to curl. She couldn't even stand there without the elf doing something to mess things up. First the desk, then her leg showing up to the knee, and now her shoes being on fire? What else could he do to make her life miserable?!

Then he said she loved him and that was that. Crouching down, making sure to cover anything that might show, Ellie snapped her fingers in front of the elf's face and scrunched up her face as angrily as she could. "Woopy, open your eyes. I do not love you. I do not want to be with you. Now I am going home. My classes are over for the day and my children need me. My children that I had with a HUMAN. NOT a house elf. You need to go find the Headmaster and tell him you need something to do to take your mind off this supposed love you feel for me and leave me alone. If you don't go now, I will go and find him myself. Then we'll see what happens." Was it threatening enough? She sure hoped so.

  

Oh boy.
Oh boy oh boy.
She certainly seemed mad.
No, angry.
Wait, no, as he listened to her intently – his eyes never moving from hers – he realised she was just frustrated. That was it!

He nodded at her and his lips curled into the biggest grin he could muster; his right hand raising with his index finger pointing outward.
It quickly met with her nose and he opened his mouth, “Boop.”

She was cute when she was being like this and he could barely take her seriously.
There were no more students here! Why was she putting on a show? They were alone! Or maybe… yes, that made sense.
She liked it like this.
Like they were a secret.
It made her feel naughty, most likely.

Of course, being the good House Elf he was, Woopy was happy to oblige in her fantasy so he scurried back from her and nodded, “Woopy understand,” he winked, “You are going home,” he winked once again, “and your classes are over.”

He paused then for a moment before realising that he didn’t actually know where she lived.

“Where you live then? Woopy take you. We sit by fire and eat together.”

Woopy could be a gentleman.

---

  

"Don't touch me!" It was perhaps the most emotion he'd get out of her. Frustration mixed with anger and a teeeeeensy bit of revulsion. Not because she was race-ist but because he wouldn't leave her alone and his tiny dirty hand had touched her very clean face. Seriously, was there no boundaries with this elf? What was she supposed to do? Would she really have to get the Headmaster involved? Who else could she report him to to get him to leave her alone? It was outrageous. He thought he could just do as he pleased. Were there no restrictions in place in the house elf culture? Were they all as wanton as this?

At least when he got up and scurried away, she was able to maintain a facade of calm.

And then he was talking about joining her at home. To eat. By a fire. She didn't even want a fireplace, let alone sit by one. If she didn't need it for the Floo Network, she'd have boarded it up a long time ago. She had watched as her first journal burned in the fireplace when she tripped over a rug and since then she didn't trust the cavernous openings inside almost every wizarding building in the tri-country area.

"Uh, no, Woopy. That's quite all right. I wouldn't want my children to uh... know about us. They're still mourning their father and if I brought home a strange... being... they'd be devastated. You'll just have to wait for tomorrow morning when we can go see the Headmaster, okay?"

  

Woopy nodded. Of course he understood. She wanted them to remain a secret until she was good and ready. He supposed he was okay with that for however long it would take; he was not one to pressure anyone into anything and he would respect her as much as she wanted.

If that meant he would leave her shoes on and not join her for dinner then that’s what it would mean. He wasn’t entirely sure if he’d be able to withstand the night away from her; he was certain he’d miss her dearly though he had to persevere. It would only make it that much sweeter once he finally rested his eyes on her once again.

But… he couldn’t let her wander home on her own! What if someone else snatched her up? What if she tripped over a pebble and landed on an unfortunately sharp rock then died! Or worse, got a concussion and forgot who he was! It was a thought he couldn’t dare to think about and however much he had tried, the tears began to stream.

“Don’t stand… on… rocks! Woopy will…. be forgotten then…. or you will die but…. worse is… you forget…. Woopy!” He managed between hastened and tearful breaths.

---

  

---

Wait. Was he actually letting her go on her own? He wasn't going to fight it? Thank goodness, she could figure out what the hell was going on without him breathing down her neck-- literally. She wasn't going to second guess it, she was going to flee and then lock the doors to her house, and her bedroom, and any other door she could imagine. Not that it would stop an apparating house elf but she would sleep better knowing it.

She scarely noticed when he broke down into tears to start off with. She was filled with such relief. "Now now," she said in the tone she reserved for Beth when she cried over nothing, "I'm sure I will be fine. Once I get home I'll go straight to bed, that way tomorrow will come as soon as possible, okay?"

Lie. A straight out lie. She was going to lie in bed for hours, afraid that any sound she made would summon the dirty little elf and he'd never leave.

But she had to go. Now. Before he changed his mind. Stepping away, Eleanor made it to the door before her conscience got the best of her and she turned to face him just a little. "Good night, Woopy." She'd regret that statement but propriety demanded she be nice, even to a weird little house elf.

  

Her words stung the house elf like when a splinter of wood stabbed him in the finger when he was cleaning. Except this time, it was not wood and it was not his finger. Her words were a dagger of pure betrayal that dug deep into his pure little sweet heart. He could not bear to see Eleanor Rigby go though her reassuring tone as she left told Woopy what he wanted to know.

She would be back and then – then – they would be together for eternity.

Nodding slowly, Woopy wiped his eyes and disapparated…

Soon, he would have his wife.
Soon, she would no longer be Eleanor Rigby but… Eleanor Rigby, the wife of Woopy.

---

[FIN for Woopy]

  

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