February 28th, 1894 #2 — Melody's Cottage

The passing hours had done little to sooth the anxiety brought forth by Ben's fears. She'd done her best to keep busy, to keep Nora distracted and content, to force the thoughts of what life would look like for her daughter and husband tomorrow morning far from her mind. And still, as the sun began to dip behind the clouds, Melody couldn't stop the fear from rooting itself deep in her gut. She didn't want to die, she didn't want to leave her child or husband. They were supposed to have years, decades still together. Not hours. Minutes.

Nora's early bedtimes were a habit from the hospital she hadn't yet shaken, allowing Melody to finally drop the façade of normalcy. Leaving Nora alone in her room set her nerves on edge but she had to trust that Ben would save their daughter. That he'd choose right in the moment and preserve the single best thing to ever come from Melody's life. She had to trust that he'd be alright, that his brother would guide him as he had for years now, and everything would be alright.

"If it happens still ... I want you to know that of all my regrets, I never once regretted you." She whispered to him in her dimly lit bedroom after several minutes of elapsed silence. They were facing one another beneath her blankets, their hands clasped. "I'd never repeat my choices and actions, but loving you - that was never a mistake."

---

  

The longer they'd been here the more Ben's anxiety had waned, but he was aware that it wasn't the same for Melody. She was obviously on edge through the entire afternoon. He couldn't blame her, but he also couldn't soothe her. He wasn't sure if telling her any details from the previous day would have helped anyway or only made things worse, but even if he'd wanted to he barely knew what had happened himself. But he knew what time he'd gotten the letter from Diana Abbott, roughly, so he knew that they were past it now — and in his heart he'd already believed that she was saved the moment they'd left the Abbott house. It was a change, and he wanted it to be enough, so he had decided that it was, and having made it to the evening without any sign of disaster had only convinced him he was right.

"It won't happen," he reassured her, moving one hand to rub her arm. He wished he hadn't let on about it at all, because he hated to see her this strung up, but at the time it had seemed necessary to convince her to leave in the first place. "Nothing's going to happen to you." Not while I'm here.

For a few moments he just laid there, breathing and watching her and occasionally moving his fingertips lightly along her skin. "I didn't, either," he eventually said, quiet. "I only regretted not loving you better."

---

  

---

MJ made this <3

Maybe it wouldn't, or maybe in saving her he had only delayed fate by a day or two. A tree could fall on the cottage tomorrow or she could choke on a biscuit or - Melody squeezed his hand tightly. Ben was here, she was safe. They weren't facing dragons or rogue bludgers or any other horrible nightmare. She was safe in his arms, Ben wouldn't let death befall her.

"It's hard to love someone you can't trust." She offered softly in response, her tone holding neither accusation or malice. She meant it only as a simple truth. Then, after another second's pause, she added, "I want to be someone you can rely on someday. A partner."

---

  

He couldn't deny that trust had often been lacking in their relationship, from both sides. Obviously the way their marriage had started didn't put them off to a great start. He hadn't wanted to tell her anything back then, because he wasn't sure how she would react; she had often seemed volatile, but especially in the earliest days of their relationship, before Nora. In hindsight he could see that his hesitation to talk to her about anything only made it worse when it came to trust, because she betrayed him maybe without meaning to. They'd both been different people, before Nora was born — teenagers, really, however old they technically were.

The betrayal after Nora was in the picture was harder to look past. Thinking about what she'd done on New Year's Eve still hurt — but given the year they'd had since then, Ben was ready to admit that leaving had caused more damage in the end. Leaving her had been selfish — something he'd done for him, because he couldn't forgive her. All the pain caused or exacerbated by his absence since then had hurt all three of them. And at the end of the day, he had to grapple with this: her betrayal was one night, and his pulling back was months of damage. Months of damage that he almost hadn't had a chance to repair.

"I want more children," he said softly. "With you. We haven't always been as good as we could have been, to each other, but you've always been the best mother to Nora," he continued. "I want us to be a proper family again."

---

  

---

MJ made this <3

More children. A proper family. It was a dream Melody had held near to her heart for months but hadn't dared to echo again after that disastrous dinner. That it had been brought about by this nightmare wasn't enough to deter her from daring to hope it might come true this time. Even if it was just one more child - just one, so Nora wouldn't be alone - that would be enough.

"I want to move to Hogsmeade." The admission came out as a nervous whisper, her eyes locked on his for any sign of hesitancy. "After today - I don't want to be squirreled far away anymore." And, if the worst had happened (or if it still did) she feared what would happen to Nora in that circumstance. The girl was too young to brave finding help on her own, and with the snow piled so high it would be days before their housekeeper came again. Her hand squeezed Ben's at the thought. "I want you to be able to come home when you can."

---

The following 1 user Likes Melody Crouch's post:1 user Likes Melody Crouch's post
   Reuben Crouch

Her words brought a rush to his chest. Ben hadn't been planning to ask her to, nor had he been hoping she would. After she'd mentioned the pain of living close to her family the last time they'd talked about it he'd considered the topic very much closed. Closed with no resentment, at least on his part — he couldn't fault her for not wanting to live close to people who actively chose to hurt her every time they saw each other. So this was unexpected, but not unwelcome. If he had family in Hogsmeade he could visit more often — maybe even spend nights at home on a daily basis, except for the occasional days where he had staff duties that stretched into the night. He hadn't been thinking he wanted to be a proper family only if he could spend more time together, but the notion did make looking forward to a future with more children even more enticing. It felt like finally they were pulling in the same direction, after years of being at odds even when they were trying their best. Finally, things were falling into place — moving towards how they were supposed to be.

But he still hesitated. He didn't want her to agree to something because she thought it was what he wanted, if it was going to be something to spark resentment later. "Are you sure?" he asked quietly. He kept hold of her hand and moved his other gently along the edge of her arm.

---

  

---

MJ made this <3

No, Melody wasn't sure. The decision to move towards Ben came almost as naturally as breathing, and yet she felt something squeeze her insides at the prospect of having to frequently face her lost family. She couldn't hide in Hogsmeade the way she'd spent months hiding here. She couldn't pretend the world had shrunken to include only Nora and herself (and at times, Diana, Henry and Ben). There would be rumors to dodge and questions to answer. There would be unexpected heartaches at nearly every turn.

But, at the end of the day, she would have Ben, too. And her choosing him - choosing this for them - had to outweigh all that she'd lost at some point.

"Yeah," Melody replied with a single nod of her head. She subconsciously shifted towards him, almost as if his proximity might somehow squash out the doubts in her head. "Yeah, I'm sure."

---

  

Ben still wasn't sure he could take this answer as truth; it had been a long day and Melody was emotional. She might feel differently tomorrow morning, and if she did he wouldn't hold it against her... but the idea that she might consider moving to Hogsmeade someday, under some circumstances, still made him feel hopeful. It felt like they were finally getting to the other side of something turbulent — and for once, getting there together.

"I'd like that," he said with a gentle smile. "To see you both more often."

---

  

---

MJ made this <3

"Nora would be happy to see you more." The toddler always lit up when her father returned, even when the stretches of time between visits grew long and the memory of his face became a bit distant. "I would too."

She looked up at him then, her lips pulled into a small smile. Quietly, almost hesitantly, she then asked, "are we still taking things slow?"

---

  

The way she responded was momentarily discouraging — specifying that Nora would be happy to see him — but he only had to wait a beat before she added that she would, too. Ben smiled and scooted in closer to her, draping his free arm loosely over her waist. Were they still taking things slow? The reason to take things slow had been to keep them from getting in over their heads when their future was still uncertain. The reason to take things slow was to prevent things from moving far too fast. Now they seemed to be in alignment about what they wanted from the future, and Ben had gotten a wake-up call regarding how much time they really had left. It wasn't limitless — wasn't guaranteed to be, anyway. There were no guarantees. He thought they'd wasted enough time already, between all the years of arguments that hadn't mattered in the end and the artificial distance he'd put between them over the last year.

"No," he answered, and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I know what I want now. There's no reason to wait." Then, to prove he meant it, he moved to kiss her fully.

---

  

---

MJ made this <3