Jin was insufferable, teasing him like he was. Taesu tried his best not to scowl at him even as his lips curled in distaste, although really Jin should be thanking his lucky stars that he wasn’t being kicked out of the room to go be annoying somewhere else. Ki-Se, Abby or Yun would be happy to have their brother in their face since apparently that was exactly what Jin wanted to do right now. But instead of telling him to leave, Taesu spilled another thing that was bothering him.
Instantly he clamped his mouth shut as Jin seemed to consider his words. No, it wasn’t a good thing to have the potion taken away. Taesu’s expression flickered, the kind of fractured look that came from being caught between wanting to argue and not knowing how to. The polyjuice had been everything to him, and now… now he was trapped knowing that people were going to hate him for him. He opened his mouth to argue with him, but Jin steamrolled right over him with more words that meant nothing to him. His lips pressed together, and for a long moment, he didn’t say anything at all. The chopsticks in his hand tapped once, twice, against the edge of his bowl like he wasn’t sure what else to do with his hands.
“You don’t get it!” Tae snapped, far harsher than he meant to, although his face didn’t soften at all. He turned his face away so he could stare at the wall. His knuckles whitened where they gripped the chopsticks. “The potion wasn’t a disguise. It was a shield. I felt like I could breathe when I drank it.” He looked back at Jin then, a sigh escaping him; he didn’t want Jin to help him make it, because it would only be because his brother pitied him. “If I could stay in someone else’s skin forever, I would.” His hand hovered against his chest, but Tae didn’t dare touch it. “I’ve always been a puppet for people to touch and play with. This… this face doesn’t belong to me.”
There was also the unspoken fear of people finding out that he was a Veela – would they ostracize him just like others had done in the past? It was only a matter of time before people realized the allure of being around him. That would be a ripple effect because his brothers would leave him too, not out of disgust, but because they’d have to. They always said they wouldn’t, that blood was thicker than fear, but Taesu knew better.
Maybe that was why he’d kept his distance lately, why he flinched when they tried to pull him closer. If they left first, it wouldn’t hurt so much. If he made himself unbearable enough, maybe they’d stop trying to love him before they found out what loving him cost. Abeoji had plans for them to integrate, find wives, find power in places where they hadn’t yet reached, but Taesu… Taesu would ruin all of that. Losing the polyjuice was a punishment. It was just a matter of time until he felt he might pay the price for being a damnation.
Taesu drew in a slow, shaking breath. It caught halfway, like his ribs didn’t want to make space for it. “I’m afraid of people finding out that I’m half-Veela.” Because at least with Polyjuice, even if people suspected it, they wouldn’t ever know his true face. Taesu swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I lived as myself for years at the orphanage,” he said softly, staring down at the chopsticks still clutched in his hand. “It was enough to teach me why I shouldn’t do it again.” When Jin met him he was desperate for attention and a family; why did he think things had changed so drastically that things would be different this time?
He blinked hard, once, twice, but the sting behind his eyes only worsened. “You’ll hate me too, Seojin-hyung, when this is over.” The words scraped raw on their way out. “You say you won’t,” Tae murmured because he knew his brother, “but you will. When people start talking. When they call us monsters. When Abeoji is angry that his plan is falling apart at the seams.” Someone would have to be the reason why, and Taesu knew… he knew it was going to be him. The polyjuice would change all of that, but... he wasn't going to get it.
Instantly he clamped his mouth shut as Jin seemed to consider his words. No, it wasn’t a good thing to have the potion taken away. Taesu’s expression flickered, the kind of fractured look that came from being caught between wanting to argue and not knowing how to. The polyjuice had been everything to him, and now… now he was trapped knowing that people were going to hate him for him. He opened his mouth to argue with him, but Jin steamrolled right over him with more words that meant nothing to him. His lips pressed together, and for a long moment, he didn’t say anything at all. The chopsticks in his hand tapped once, twice, against the edge of his bowl like he wasn’t sure what else to do with his hands.
“You don’t get it!” Tae snapped, far harsher than he meant to, although his face didn’t soften at all. He turned his face away so he could stare at the wall. His knuckles whitened where they gripped the chopsticks. “The potion wasn’t a disguise. It was a shield. I felt like I could breathe when I drank it.” He looked back at Jin then, a sigh escaping him; he didn’t want Jin to help him make it, because it would only be because his brother pitied him. “If I could stay in someone else’s skin forever, I would.” His hand hovered against his chest, but Tae didn’t dare touch it. “I’ve always been a puppet for people to touch and play with. This… this face doesn’t belong to me.”
There was also the unspoken fear of people finding out that he was a Veela – would they ostracize him just like others had done in the past? It was only a matter of time before people realized the allure of being around him. That would be a ripple effect because his brothers would leave him too, not out of disgust, but because they’d have to. They always said they wouldn’t, that blood was thicker than fear, but Taesu knew better.
Maybe that was why he’d kept his distance lately, why he flinched when they tried to pull him closer. If they left first, it wouldn’t hurt so much. If he made himself unbearable enough, maybe they’d stop trying to love him before they found out what loving him cost. Abeoji had plans for them to integrate, find wives, find power in places where they hadn’t yet reached, but Taesu… Taesu would ruin all of that. Losing the polyjuice was a punishment. It was just a matter of time until he felt he might pay the price for being a damnation.
Taesu drew in a slow, shaking breath. It caught halfway, like his ribs didn’t want to make space for it. “I’m afraid of people finding out that I’m half-Veela.” Because at least with Polyjuice, even if people suspected it, they wouldn’t ever know his true face. Taesu swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I lived as myself for years at the orphanage,” he said softly, staring down at the chopsticks still clutched in his hand. “It was enough to teach me why I shouldn’t do it again.” When Jin met him he was desperate for attention and a family; why did he think things had changed so drastically that things would be different this time?
He blinked hard, once, twice, but the sting behind his eyes only worsened. “You’ll hate me too, Seojin-hyung, when this is over.” The words scraped raw on their way out. “You say you won’t,” Tae murmured because he knew his brother, “but you will. When people start talking. When they call us monsters. When Abeoji is angry that his plan is falling apart at the seams.” Someone would have to be the reason why, and Taesu knew… he knew it was going to be him. The polyjuice would change all of that, but... he wasn't going to get it.
![[Image: JJUdkv9.png]](https://file.garden/aN0lvmYmaWI-Onw7/Charming/JJUdkv9.png)
Credit to Fox for this beautiful set!<3