23 October 1895, Dongmulwon Park, sometime in the early morning

Taesu should have gone to sleep hours ago, but he was laying wide awake in the middle of his bed, listening to the silence of this new home around him. Despite being here for a couple months now it still did not feel like home, and he often felt like an unwanted guest walking through the halls. His gaze was set upon the ceiling where he had an illusion of the constellations blinking at him, his eyes tracing over Cassiopeia because she was easy for him to find. Taesu had memorized the constellations years ago, back when he used to be able to slip outside without being noticed. But the stars here were all wrong. Tilted, like someone had plucked the sky from another hemisphere and hung it crooked above his head.

He turned onto his side, then his back again. The sheets were too fine, the mattress too soft, the quiet too complete. Every so often he swore he could hear the faint click of something against the walls, although Jin wasn’t as close as he used to be when they all lived in Joseon, so it was probably just his imagination. If he listened hard enough he might hear the wind pressing against the shutters or the tap of rain against the window because it did a lot of that here, yet it was never enough to fill the hollow of the room. His chest ached with the kind of loneliness that didn’t need words. It was an ache that came from being surrounded by things that were meant to comfort but never quite did.

Going to sleep at a normal hour had always been a struggle for Tae, although he blamed it mostly on the fact that people who bought his time wanted to do it under the guise of the night. He stared at the ceiling again. Cassiopeia blurred into nothing. With a heavy, frustrated sigh, Taesu threw the blanket off of him. The ceiling was not going to ease the thoughts swirling around in his mind, and neither would Cassiopeia. If he stayed here any longer, he’d start counting the cracks in the plaster and trying to remember the name of his parents and the governess who had put him onto the carriage to send him away without a second thought.

(Part of Taesu missed them, but he could not help but wonder what he would say to them if they ever came face to face once again.)

The floor was cool beneath his feet as he pressed his bare feet onto it, the kind of cold that made him wince but didn’t force him back into bed. Taesu shrugged into his dressing robe he’d tossed onto the floor and tied it lazily around his waist before he pushed the door of his bedroom open. Poking his head out, Taesu found the hallway void of anything, save for the lanterns left burning for the servants who rose before dawn. He often heard them in the hallways when they were beginning their day, although if he was unlucky enough he’d just be returning for the night while they were just beginning their day. Sometimes it was a look of pity, although Taesu tended to not look at them at all as he hurried past to his room.

As he stepped out of his bedroom, Taesu winced as the floor squeaked. Every sound always seemed loud at this hour – the groan of the wood as he walked, the rustle of his clothing against his skin and even the small hitch of his breath once he realized how quiet everything else was. Taesu tiptoed down the hallway as he held his breath until his lungs ached. All he was going to do was take a quick peek at the potion he was brewing; just a quick one, because people did not need to know what he was doing when everyone else was sleeping.

Luckily the potion didn’t have a strong odor to it and people often ignored the faint earthy scent when they passed by the storage closet he had claimed for his brewing. It had probably been meant for linens or vases, but he’d pushed some of them aside to make room for a pewter cauldron as well as a few bottles and jars. He slipped inside and pulled the door closed behind him.

The cauldron was still warm as he crouched in front of it, watching as the liquid bubbled. Polyjuice was a demanding thing, all temper and patience. It didn’t like being rushed, and it didn’t forgive forgetfulness. Taesu had never made a potion before, let alone something as difficult as polyjuice, but with Abeoji cutting off his supply the moment they stepped foot in England, Tae knew that drastic measures called for drastic actions. He picked up a spoon from next to the put, set on one of the older looking linens he was sure no one would miss, and gave it a stir. The liquid shifted sluggishly around the spoon.

He reached down for a jar because he’d read this morning what was next, although his fingers grasped around nothing. Tae made a small noise as he looked down, finding the spot where the lacewing flies should’ve been was empty. He stared at it for a long moment, as if sheer irritation could conjure them back. He was sure they’d be here, and none of his brothers knew what he was up to, so they couldn’t have taken it. Maybe it had rolled into the hallway and a member of the staff had found it?

Taesu pressed his lips together, eyes flicking toward the clock. It was too late to go to the apothecary to purchase more, and Taesu would rather avoid waking up any of his brothers to ask if they had any because that would involve cluing them in on his little… project. He stood there for another full minute, wrestling with decency and the mounting panic of losing all the work he’d put into the potion already. Then he sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and muttered under his breath, “Aish*!”

He crept down the corridor, every floorboard a traitor as it creaked beneath his feet. No one popped out of their room to demand to know what he was doing, so that was a win in his book. He found Eun-Ho in the last place he’d found her sleeping, although he just stood in front of the tiger so as to not spook her. “Eun-Ho-ssi,” he whispered, and when he did not get an immediate response (which was probably less than a second wait time on his end), he tried again, albeit this time it was a little louder. “Eun-Ho-ssi, an ja**? I need help.” Of course he needed help at some ungodly hour in the morning.

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@“Eun-Ho Rang"
*Aish = Ah, shit
**an ja = are you awake?

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Credit to Fox for this beautiful set!<3

Eunho was dreaming, and what had started out a pleasant dream about hunting in forests of bamboo as an apex predator had quickly turned sour as fragments of half memories decided to visit her subconscious mind. Memories that she'd put away, memories that may have been put away for her, memories that were too painful or hurt too much to recall or memories that simply were not useful to her in her current circumstances -or even memories that had been planted and stories her brain had simply come up with and was now using to confuse and disorient her. There were just too many lose strands that she could only vaugely tell the fact from the fiction.

She dreamt of a classroom she barely remembered - teachers, Jin... so impossibly young ... maybe the first time she saw him? She knew she hadn't thought much of him at the time as that would simply come later. Whatever the case he was in the class with her and given what she presumed was their age difference that was impossible. She dreamt of stumbling across a self that looked somewhat like her training to do something, practicing with a wand and studying hard. It felt surreal especially given her current state to think of herself as a bookworm that studied.

And then she was back in the bamboo forest, except she wasn't a Tiger anymore. She was a human-girl, hunting in rags and holding a long homemade spear and she was seeing the world from her own eyes as opposed to the odd out of body experience she'd been having. Her black hair tied with a rag as hands covered in cuts quivvered. She was hunting something but she was afraid. Her hands were red with blisters and were quiverring in fear. She was afraid. Something was coming and it would surely get her.

She heard her name being called and the girl and the spear whipped around.

Another person was there? Not there? She stared at the empty clearing filled bamboo and ghosts.

"Eun-Ho-ssi, an ja**? I need help." The words echoed in her consciousness and she woke with a jolt and jerking to sit up. Except she missed her mark, forgetting which self she was in and and that her spine would not bend the same way as that her human body and she ended up falling and collapsing almost comically. After a moment of her gracelessness she rolled onto her belly and sat up, trying to pretend that the whole incident hadn't occurred. Her eyes searching for the speaker.

Taesu.

She looked at him willing him to speak.

She'd transform if she had to - if being the keyword. She wasn't fond of her human body though Tae needed her to she would do her best.-

  

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Sig <3 from Fox

Taesu felt like he hadn’t slept in his days, but maybe that was because he was more awake during the night than day due to his… duties, but still expected to participate in normal society events. Really, he ought to ask one of his brothers and Eun-Ho to help him procure a wide awake potion, but the last thing Taesu wanted was to become dependent on yet another potion. Polyjuice was bad enough.

“Eun-ho.” Her name came out half a sigh, half a prayer. “You’re awake.” Probably because he woke her up in desperation, but that was beside the point; Taesu needed her and he knew that Eun-Ho would be there for him no matter what time of day it is; maybe he could convince her to come crash in his room here in Britain after this. He always did sleep best when he could curl up with her. (He would never admit aloud, of course, but Taesu felt safest around her.)

He blinked, taking in her posture, her fall, the almost comical twist of limbs that followed it, but to his credit, he didn’t smile. His worry outpaced his amusement. “Don’t move so fast. You’ll make yourself dizzy again.” Taesu sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling the exhaustion in his bones. He should be sleeping, but the potion was more important to him than a few lost hours.

He tossed a quick look over his shoulder because he knew this house had eyes and ears before he turned back to the tiger, his voice dropping into a low whisper. “I lost something.” He admitted. “Lacewing flies. Dried. I had enough to finish this batch, but they’re gone. I thought that they were in the closet, but I can’t find them, and I thought maybe you could –”

Taesu was rambling; he hadn't told anyone what he was doing, and while he knew he should tell Eun-Ho, he couldn't bring himself to admit that he was doing something that would get him into some serious trouble if it was discovered. He just... missed wearing a face that wasn't his; it was easier being anyone else than Taesu because no one had expectations of how he should act. He hesitated. It felt unfair to ask when he’d already robbed her of sleep, but his voice still broke into a quiet plea. “Can you smell them? Please. I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important. I’m making a poly… juice.” He looked at her then, eyes rimmed with sleeplessness, but shining all the same.

“And… sorry for the rude awakening. I’d say I owe you one, but I think I owe you a dozen.”

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Credit to Fox for this beautiful set!<3