May 28th, 1895 — Coming Out Ball, The Great Hall, Hogwarts

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Hesper wanted to blame Polly for setting her thoughts in motion, even Mr. Thornton to some extent for fanning the flames, but if she was honest with herself she knew it wasn't anything to do with them. Of course after she'd thought to find him, she hadn't been able to. The longer she'd been unable to spot him in the crowd, the more preoccupied she'd become in trying to find him. He had to be there, how could she not have spotted him by now? Hours passed or what merely felt like hours, and she only grew more agitated to at least clap eyes on him. Eventually, she felt certain he simply wasn't there. Where could he be if not there though? Why would he leave? She felt a pang of sharp disappointment when she suddenly remembered last year and realized she must've been hoping for a reprise.

She'd managed to distract herself with Polly and a few more dances, but she couldn't fully shut out her preoccupation. She wanted to believe she'd been about to give up thinking she'd ever see him again, when she found herself double-taking at the sight of him across the room. She was supposed to be getting herself a drink, but she'd made a sharp turn away from her original destination and was heading straight for him.

She came to an abrupt stop a few feet away from him. There he was, at last. He clearly hadn't been expecting her to suddenly walk right up to him out of nowhere and now she thought about it, it must seem a little odd. Now she'd found him, she didn't know what to say. She'd only thought up to the point of finding him. She ought to say something though, if not because it would be incredibly weird of her not to after hunting him down, it would also be the last chance she got before they were separated, probably forever.

I just wanted to tell you, before you leave...

Realizing she'd been staring straight into eyes, she diverted her eyes and found herself staring at the side of his face. His left cheek to be precise. A sudden impulse seized her. For a fleeting moment she almost fooled herself into thinking she could get away with it. She couldn't of course, there was no possibility of it, someone would see, there'd be consequences. There was a safety in her certainty that she wouldn't risk it, that made her feel emboldened to believe that if there was no one looking she absolutely would risk it. But there were people all around them and she wouldn't, she couldn't and he'd never know what she could've done and probably that was for the best anyway. She could settle for him just looking at her like he might want to ask her to dance.

Enjoy your tour. And your life. She forced a tight little smile - forced because a friendly grin wasn't really what she'd wanted to give him, but it was all that she could.

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Outfit | Tag: Sirius Black | Notes:

  

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Once they dealt with the corpse, Sirius collected himself and went back into The Great Hall for the Coming Out Ball. It wouldn't do to be absent for too long, especially not as Head Boy — and never mind that the Coming Out Ball wasn't about him. And maybe it didn't matter what people thought of him at Hogwarts anymore, because he wasn't going to be coming back in the fall — but he still couldn't shake it. He wanted people to like him here.

But he was shaken, and a little tipsy, and still he knew he would be there until the ball ende anyways. It was to — savor something.

He was sipping champagne from his glass, having long forgotten his disdain for it, when Hesper came up to him. Sirius blinked at her. The way she was talking to him was strange, almost affected — and her tight-lipped smile was not the grin he could usually get from her.

"Oh," Sirius said. He was not masking that he was studying her. "Enjoy — seventh year."

She was talking to him like she never intended to see him again.He wouldn't let that happen.

  

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set by Lady

When everyone tells us what we can be
How can we rewrite the stars?

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Thank you. She maintained the tight smile even as she felt a wave of unwelcome emotion bubbling up in her chest. He seemed to be surveying her and she suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. He must think her silly and what she was doing a bit odd and unnecessary. At least she hadn't kissed him, he probably would've been mortified. Polly was right, she wasn't for him and he wasn't for her. If he didn't marry Flora then his future wife was probably a current first year or else soon to be one. In fact, he probably thought of Hesper like a little sister and wasn't that how he treated her?

Unable to stop herself from hoping that if she lingered a little longer in silence that he might ask her to dance, but after a couple seconds she forced herself to stop before she had to face the possibility of him just standing there, not wanting to dance with her. She considered extending her hand to shake his but she quickly decided against it. It won't be the same... Hesper trailed off and bit her lip as she kicked herself for not choosing her words better. Farewell, Sirius. She forced a wider smile and took a step backwards, and then she was turning and her legs were marching her across the room, weaving between people and heading for the powder room. Her heart suddenly felt so heavy. She wished she hadn't found him in the end, she felt worse than before, and she was convinced she'd just made a fool of herself. It wasn't even a comfort to think that she'd never have to see him again.

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Outfit | Tag: Sirius Black | Notes:

  

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