"Not my preferred brand of fireworks." Dean mumbled as he stepped forward. Nothing, absolutely nothing good was going to come out of this, whether it was physical or emotional fireworks, but he'd rather implode and worry about it later, than let Dempsey actually hurt himself.

He would like to help, but he knew better. It was hard to help someone who refused to be helped. At least existentially. Right now Dean wasn't going to let Dempsey blow up the zoo by accident.

"You always seem to require supervision," Dean added gently as he pulled the firework from Dempsey's hand and set it aside. The trouble Dempsey had gotten himself into between them and now was substantial and Dean felt partially responsible. If he'd been able to figure them out, to hold on a little tighter, maybe it would have been better.

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   Don Juan Dempsey

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Hudson crossed the room and took the firework out of his hand. At the beginning of the night this would have had him tense; thirty minutes ago it would have left him reeling. But Don Juan had slipped into the charlatan persona now and he could not be affected by such a trivial matter as someone standing too close, acting too familiar. It would take more than this to drop his mask. Even the quip about fireworks didn't phase him; it sounded like a bluff, to him. Hudson was here in his capacity as a babysitter, not because he was after fireworks.

"Oh, yeah, I'm a real loose cannon," he taunted with a smirk. He turned to Hudson, leaning in to invade his personal space. He'd scared Hudson off once before, and he thought he could do it again — this time while keeping the upper hand on the interaction, playing it out on his terms instead of losing his cool. "Are you afraid I'll do something stupid?" he asked, in a voice quiet enough to feel dangerous.

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MJ made this <3

Dean had just enough whiskey to feel bold. As Dempsey leaned in, Dean stood still, body fixed and feeling the effects of having Dempsey so close. He could smell his cologne and the liquor on his breath.

"No," He whispered, reaching around to the back of Don Juan's neck to tug him closer. "I'm afraid I will." And he closed the gap, lips crashing against Dempsey's roughly, pouring the years worth of pent up feelings into every motion. His hands were equally as possessive, pulling Dempsey against him fully with his free hand as he savored what was probably the worst decision he could have made in the moment.

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   Don Juan Dempsey

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There was a sweet rush of victory as Hudson's hand found the back of his neck, in the moment between when Don Juan realized what was about to happen and when the kiss began... until he remembered that his aim had been to scare Hudson away, not push him over the edge. He'd thought it was a bluff when he kept saying all of those provocative things. He'd been sure Hudson would back down — now he wasn't sure why he'd ever thought that. Because it was the only rational thing to do, maybe, and he'd thought because he was veering towards drunk that Hudson would be the one between the two of them who would have to do the rational, responsible thing. Because Hudson had been keeping his distance since the letter exchange over the summer, and Don Juan had — apparently foolishly — believed that the impulse to do very stupid things had passed him by.

He groaned, frustrated and disappointed in himself — that he had played this so poorly, that he'd thought he was going to end the game holding the trump cards and instead he'd been surprised on the flop. The noise was drowned in Hudson's mouth, which he found highly erotic in spite of himself. He'd already brought his hands up to the sides of Hudson's face, kissing him back forcefully on instinct. Now he leaned in closer and pushed one leg up towards Hudson's hips.

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MJ made this <3

How was it that years accompanied by heartbreak and drama could go by and still Dean felt this way? He hadn't forgotten what Dempsey tasted like, or felt like against him, or what he would react to. How was it this easy?

It was so easy that Dean let go of the hesitations in the back of his head. Dempsey hadn't shoved him away, he was leaning in closer, hands on his face. Something in Dean snapped and the floodgates opened up again. He pushed forward, finding purchase on the wall behind Dempsey and pushed him back against it slowly. His hands worked down Dempsey's body until one reached the leg wrapped around him, hand pressing into the muscle as his hips rolled forward.

He refused to surrender the kiss, diving deeper, pressing in closer, getting drunk on the feeling he'd been missing for these last three long years. Nobody ever quite satisfied him like this, even though he'd gone in search of it, always coming up disappointed. He was going to take his fill until one of them came to their senses.

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Fuck me, Don Juan thought as Hudson pressed him up against the wall. Not a request but a lamentation. He wasn't going to muster up the wherewithal to pull back when Hudson had his hands on Don Juan's thighs, or when he'd started rolling his hips like that. Kissing men was always different than seducing women; there was an energy of pursuit on both sides, rather than one yielding to another. But even within this, no one kissed him like Dean Hudson did. There was such a hunger in him; enough heat to start a fire. God, but how he'd missed this when they'd ended things.

Hudson did the thing with his hips again and Don Juan whimpered pleadingly into his mouth. He tucked his leg around Dean's waist to improve the angle between their hips. He slid his hands to Hudson's shoulders, pressed his back against the wall, and moved his other leg off the ground to mirror the first.

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MJ made this <3

This was better than the dreams, better than anything he could have cooked up in his head in a moment of weakness where he was alone in his room late at night...

Dean adjusted easily, holding Dempsey's weight against the wall, one hand going underneath to support the weight, but the other around to hold him close. He swallowed the whimper, hungry for more, but still drinking in as much as he could. This wasn't the place, this was risky, Dean never dallied in public spaces, but he was too impatient to suggest trying to move. The sting of the rejection at the last invitation was still fresh in his head and he still didn't know how far to take it now, but fuck if he was going to let go yet.

First he needed to find out just how far Dempsey was willing to go. He pressed his hips tighter, moving just slightly to up the friction as he finally broke the kiss, to move his mouth down Dempsey's neck. The hand around Dempsey's waist pulled eagerly at his shirt, fingers seeking skin beneath the frustrating layers between them.

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Hudson was holding him up against the wall and pawing at his shirt and Don Juan was thinking, to the extent that he was capable of thinking anything at all, please.... He reached a hand down and tugged his shirt up, not bothering with buttons, just bunching it up to get it out of the way of Hudson's hand. He tilted his head to give Hudson easier access to his neck, eyes closing so he could focus on the sensation of Dean's mouth. He pulled his undershirt out of the way so that Hudson's hand could slide in against his bare skin... and then had a sudden intrusive thought. Rowan Yaxley throwing the door open while Elfrieda was naked on the chaise, Don Juan knelt between her legs. A single moment which had derailed her life forever. If someone were to walk in on this it would be just as incriminating. Don Juan's legs wrapped around Hudson's waist; Hudson's tongue on his neck; clothes starting to come undone. Hudson would never recover from that. He'd lose his job, his parents would disown him, he'd be ostracized from society. Don Juan couldn't be responsible for that kind of destruction — not again.

"No," he blurted suddenly. He pushed his shirt back down and straightened his back, leaning against the wall rather than against Hudson. He tried to get back on his feet, but Hudson was holding onto one of his legs which made it a bit of a scramble. "No, no, no."

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MJ made this <3

Dean had already let go of any reservations that had been lingering in the back of his mind. It was too easy to get lost in Don Juan, too easy to fall back into their old ways. He could feel the heat and the arousal and everything building exactly where it needed to.

And then it was ripped away.

No.

Dean stopped, immediately. That word meant something more.

He set Dempsey down, breathing heavy as he placed both hands on the wall on either side of Dempsey's head. "I'm sorry." Dempsey had told him no once before and he still hadn't left it alone. Merlin he should know better, Don Juan really did make him some special brand of stupid.

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Don Juan looked at Hudson and bit his lower lip hard, looking personally victimized by his own refusal. This wasn't what he wanted; he wanted Hudson beneath him, bearing down on him, inside him. He didn't know how to explain why he'd stopped. He pushed his shirt flat, feeling sheepish, and left it untucked in the front.

They should leave. Even if Hudson wasn't touching him or kissing him, this could still be incriminating. They were somewhere they weren't supposed to be, and they were both disheveled, though Don Juan to a greater extent. He could maybe lie and attribute it to be sloppily drunk if need be, but not while Hudson was leaning around him like a cage. This was a pose that was hard to misconstrue. So they were going to have to leave, and not talk for six months or more, just like the last time their paths had crossed.

He couldn't stand the thought.

"Say the Greek one," he said suddenly. "I don't know how to pronounce it."

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   Dean Hudson

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MJ made this <3

Dean's head was still reeling, but he was coming back down from the high that always accompanied having Dempsey so close. Everything was fuzzy and his brain was clouded; fuck he'd missed this. It was times like this when he could understand why Don Juan chased a high. There was no other feeling quite like it.

It took a second to get through the fog and realize what Dempsey was asking him. Dean had rarely used Greek on Dempsey, usually French or Italian, so he could only think of the one time it had meant something.

"Kai tha to ékana xaná, se káthe zoí." He breathed out. He would do it again, in any lifetime. But not here, not now. It never seemed to be the right time, they were in the same space, but never the place in life. "Et je le referais, dans chaque vie." The languages filtered through his head easily enough, one after the other. "E lo rifarei, in ogni vita." The romance languages all sounded like just that, romantic.

Dean sighed. "You should go. I'll apparate home." Nobody had been around, but it would look even less suspicious if only one of them came walking out.

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Hudson knew which phrase he was talking about, which meant he still meant it. Don Juan's head swam.

"Alright," he agreed, breathless. He couldn't actually make any move towards that while Hudson was still leaning on the wall on either side of him, though; he didn't even have enough room to tuck his shirt back in without brushing against him. So he waited for a beat, still looking at Hudson, and after a moment he said, "Hudson — I'm not going to let you ruin your life for me."

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MJ made this <3

Dempsey had been the smarter one of them in more recent times and again Dean had to let him. He pushed back on the wall and stepped back, running a shaky hand through his hair. Merlin he wished this wasn't so hard.

"My life is pretty ruined without you." He knew it wasn't fair to say, but it was the truth. Dean knew he'd been the one to end things, and he still regretted it. He'd been able to pick up the pieces and make it look good, but there was always something missing. Dean hadn't found it at the bottom of a bottle, nor any of the foreign countries he fled to, nor in the unfamiliar bodies he took to bed. He was always chasing this and every time he managed to catch hold, it slipped right through his fingers.

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Spoken with the reckless abandon of someone who had never actually been ruined, and never feared it. Don Juan loved him for it, for the willful and staggeringly incorrect conclusion that Don Juan's absence brought more harm than his presence did.

"Romantic," he pronounced, equal parts derision and affection. Hudson would have fit so well into the Dempsey family, if they had ended up in a position where his invitation to dinner was a repeated affair. With a chagrinned expression, he added in French, "il se peut que les autres vies soient plus belles." Perhaps the other lives have turned out better.

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   Dean Hudson

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MJ made this <3

While his breathing had returned to normal and the arousal has died down, his heart was still beating quickly. Later, when the ache had subsided a little, he would realize that Dempsey was right. And that was probably what made it hurt more. Wanting to and trying we're not always enough in a society where this was considered wrong.

Dean stepped forward and kissed Don Juan gently, briefly, one more time. "Cette vie n'est pas encore finie." This lifetime isn't over yet. But tonight had to be and so he stepped back again and disapparated.

One more whiskey wouldn't kill him, not tonight.

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   Don Juan Dempsey

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