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Reuben Crouch · January 28, 2021 – 3:48 AM

Jack: Ok, I think I've finally figured out how to categorize Charming as an entertainment source. Ready?

Lynn: Yeah, hit me.

Jack: Conflict resolution porn.

Lynn: *cackles for like 30 straight seconds*
*reaches for phone*
I'm putting that in the thread.

Jack: Yeah, I could tell. You reached for your phone as soon as you were done laughing. That's usually what that means.

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Cassius Lestrange · February 3, 2021 – 9:26 PM

My friend and I are watching Emma on Netflix Party:

Quote:Sabina
so much of this movie is emma resraining an endless well of rage
Sabina
and you know what? i empathize
daniela
that's also what's appealing about the regenecy era
daniela
like yes yes longing
daniela
but also repressed rage

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Reuben Crouch · February 7, 2021 – 2:16 AM

Jack: Hey, I'd prefer you didn't post at the dinner table.
Lynn: Yeah, okay, valid
Jack: Wanna talk about it?
Lynn: (long winded tirade about NCE things)
Jack: So now he's having a second confrontation with his brother?
Lynn: Yeah, it's been a crazy few days.
Jack: So, question. Why hasn't he just killed her?
Lynn: Because he loves her.
Jack: Wait, what? I thought that was the whole point of your plot. That he was stuck in a loveless marriage.
Lynn: Yeah, well, he changed his mind. In like, the last two threads.
Jack: ... so is he actually bewitched?
Lynn: I don't know what he's thinking, honestly.
Jack: ... You play him.

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*Juliana Ainsworth* · February 7, 2021 – 8:08 PM

Jack's on fire lately.

Jack: What's the plan for your superbowl?
Lynn: I've got a few things with Jules, the werewolf researcher.
Jack: The werewolf werewolf researcher?
Lynn: No, she's not a werewolf.
Jack: I thought... doesn't she have some big secret?
Lynn: Well, she writes under a pseudonym?
Jack: Oh, right! She's not a werewolf, she's a woman.

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Prof. Marlowe Forfang

Jules

Reuben Crouch · February 13, 2021 – 5:41 AM

Lynn: Don't let me make any more characters.
Jack: You don't tell me when you're making characters.
Lynn: I should. You could talk me out of it.
Jack: How about this: periodically I'll just walk over, slam your laptop shut, and stare at you disapprovingly.

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Fortitude Greengrass · March 1, 2021 – 4:23 PM

Not my husband, but this was super cute so I'm sharing anyway. Max really likes to feel included in conversations and when we're talking about stuff he doesn't understand for long enough, he starts interrupting with "Don't finish your story!"

So this morning, I was telling Jack about recent threads:
Lynn: So they were talking about ghosts and death and everything, and Cash started having a panic attack...
Max: Mama! Don't finish your story!
Lynn: Are you feeling left out, Max?
Max: Yeah.
Lynn: You want to participate in the conversation?
Max: Yeah.
Lynn: Have you ever seen a ghost, Max?
Max: Yeah.
Lynn: You have? What did it look like?
Max: Uhhhh — white. And there were scary scary skeletons and scary scary witches.
Jack: That sounds scary. Were you safe?
Max: Yeah!
Jack: Cool story, Max.

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Set by Lady!

Reuben Crouch · March 3, 2021 – 1:45 AM

Lynn: Honestly, I think I only need 4 of my characters.
Jack: Uh oh. It's a bad day to be Ford.
Lynn: No, he's one of the four.
Jack: Oh, OK. And...
Lynn: Do you even know four of my characters?
Jack: Uh. Juuuuuu-liana? Uh. Ford. Ben. Arthur. Ophelia. Thom. Eli. I think at least three of those are dead.

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Reuben Crouch · March 17, 2021 – 7:59 PM

Explaining fight stuff to Jack:

Jack: Ben's giving off some serious Andre Bolkonsky vibes. 'My pregnant wife, who I hate, is sick and in desperate need of attention! I'm so mad about it! I'm going to go FIGHT in a WAR about it. Until I DIE.'

*This is a War & Peace reference if you don't know and it's very funny.

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*Juliana Ainsworth* · March 19, 2021 – 4:17 AM

Lynn: OK, so there's this guy named Lachlan, and he kissed Jules.
Jack: Does he know that she's not a werewolf?

Prof. Marlowe Forfang

Jules

*Juliana Ainsworth* · March 19, 2021 – 4:32 AM

Jack: So you said you have four main characters.
Lynn: Yeah.
Jack: So it's Ben the rogue, Alfred the sailor, Jules the thrope...
Lynn: the what?
Jack: The thrope. As opposed to a lycanthrope.
Lynn: Oh my God.
Jack: Who's the last one?
Lynn: Ford.
Jack: What's his role? The straight man?
Lynn: Literally the opposite.

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J. Alfred Darrow · March 20, 2021 – 2:10 AM

Lynn: So Zelda's family —
Jack: Right, the big Jewish one.
Lynn: How'd you know they're Jewish? Did we talk about that?
Jack: You told me the story about Ben interrupting Passover.
Lynn: Alfred.
Jack: Huh?
Lynn: Alfred interrupted Passover, not Ben.
Jack: Oh. Well, maybe Ben should. Shake things up.

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MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

Reuben Crouch · March 23, 2021 – 4:19 AM

We're playing these conversation cards and got the question "Which two fictional characters would you choose to travel the world with?"

Andrea (our au pair): Harry Potter, definitely.
Jack: Oh yeah? Why?
Andrea: He has magic, obviously.
Lynn: What if you chose someone else who had magic though? Like from the Harry Potter world but not Harry Potter?
Andrea: No, Harry Potter is the best.
Jack: Really?
Andrea: Yeah. You don't want Voldemort.
Jack: Well, at least you'd know you were safe?
Andrea: But he's already dead.
Jack: Yeah, alright, fair. Don't travel with a corpse.

(In case anyone was wondering my first instinct was Alfred and Evander Darrow but I eventually revised to Samwise Gamgee and Spock)

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J. Alfred Darrow · April 2, 2021 – 3:36 AM

Jack: What are you listening to?
Lynn: Frank Turner. I don't really know his music that well, but one of my Charming friends recommended a few songs and said they reminded her of one of my characters, so I'm listening to him.
Jack: Hm. (squints, listens) Let me guess. Alfred?
Lynn: Yeah. How'd you know?
Jack: It's angsty.
Lynn: All my characters are angsty.
Jack: No. Ben's rogueish. Ford is... angsty, but he's like "Death Cab for Cutie" angsty.

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MJ made the most Alfredy of sets and then two years later she made it EVEN BETTER

Elsie Kirke · April 10, 2021 – 5:41 PM

Dan: You look pensively evil, what are you up to?
Me: Casually ruining lives, it's the 14 year old's turn.
Dan: Carry on.

XD

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MJ always makes her so pretty

Reuben Crouch · April 14, 2021 – 3:56 PM

Jack wanders out of the bathroom after a shower, hair tousled and curls all askew.

Jack: With my hair like this, I look like I could be the next member of your boy band.
Lynn: Yeah, you do.
Jack: Want to do a photoshoot so you can use me for your next Charming character?
Lynn: No.
Jack: I like how you said that firmly and immediately, like you've already considered it.

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Tabitha Chevalier · April 23, 2021 – 5:03 PM

Both Dan and Reilly:

R: Mama how does magic work?

Me: *goes into a long winded conversation about Gamp's Laws*

R: That. Is. So. Cool! I want to be a wizard!

Dan: Why do you know all of that?

I just shrugged and laughed.

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Barnaby Wye has blanket permission to interrupt Tabi's threads, please reach out if you do NOT want this to happen!

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