Charming

Quote:Ben: You know, I'm still a more than a little peeved at you for keeping all this from me.

Ari: I'm sorry, Ben, but you know eventually we're gonna both get married. There's gonna be certain things we can't share with each other.

Ben: I'm trying not to think about that.......we're still gonna live next door to each other, right?

Ari: Hell yeah, with a pool going across both of our yards.

Ben: I've got dibs on the diving board.

Ari: Yeah, okay.

Quote:Ben: I don’t lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.

Quote:Baxter: You're acting like a child, Ben.

Ben: I AM NOT ACTING.

Quote:King: Come on, let's hug it out.

Kieran: I would rather learn to play the harp.

Quote:Jude: How much blood was it exactly, Kieran?

Kieran: It was just a small stream. It wasn't like the end of Carrie or the beginning of Carrie.

Quote:Ben: I'm just getting started, you giant cockroach. You know what? That was out of line. I apologize to cockroaches everywhere, especially Jiminy Cricket, although for the first time in thirty years, it occurs to me... he might be a cricket.

Quote:Ben: I'm Benedict and this is my associate, M. C. Clap Your Handz.

Baxter: With a Z.

Quote:Baxter: Holy crap, are you checking your email?

Ari: I get productive when I'm nervous.

Quote:Kieran to : Well, as my grandma used to say, it's only a walk of shame if you're capable of feeling shame. See you later. Thanks for doing all the sex stuff on me.

Quote:Kieran: Sitting is definitely in my top 5 favorite activities.
: What are the others?
Kieran: Eating things. Shutting stupid people down verbally. Bubble baths. Masturbating.

Quote:: Day drinking's the best.
Kieran: Day drinking is the best! Aren't we lucky we're both in professions where we can day drink?
Eileen: Are you in a profession where you can day drink?
Kieran: They all are if you want it bad enough.

Quote:[Skipping stones on a lake]
Belle, smiling: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Finnian: Take that you fucking lake.

Quote:Connie: You’re smiling, did something good happen?
Holly: Can’t I just smile because I want to?
Seneca: Meta tripped and fell down the stairs.

Quote:Calla: I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have a heart and the capacity to feel and love.
Holly: You take that back right now!

Quote:Frida: Ah yes, my train of thought
Frida: Or as I like to call it, Anxiety Express

Quote:Evander: What are you eating?
Charity: A family sized bag of chips.
Evander: But that's a normal bag of chips.
Charity: Everything's family sized when you're an orphan
Evander:

: Is Uncle Evander still in there making that judgy face?
: Charity, you’ve known him for years, just call it his face.

King : How much have you had to drink?
: More than a little and less than enough

Quote:Eldin, reading a fortune cookie: "If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same."
Kristoffer, with his mouth full of takeout: Kill two.

Quote:Holly: Mr. Macnair, would you step outside for a moment?
Germander: Why?
Holly: Because you irritate me.

Quote:Helga: I’ve heard you have very high standards in men.
Marlena: I do.
Marlena: They just need to be girls.

Quote:Charity: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.
Evander: It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

Quote:(I don't even go here but it seemed fitting >.>)

Ellory: I'm going to destroy your happiness, whatever the cost!
Antigone: My happiness?!
Antigone [to Tib]: Am I happy?

Quote:Charity: Sometimes, I don’t even realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone’s staring at me weird.

Quote:Holly, angrily: Can I say a bad word?
Connie: Um…
Holly: CAN I SAY A BAD WORD?
Connie: I mean…
Holly, turning to Meta: YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH

Quote:Maeve: So how’d you guys get into a car accident?
Lorcan: Well Finnian was driving and he wasn’t paying attention. There was a deer in the road and I yelled, “Finnian, deer!” And do you want to tell her your response?
Finnian: "Yes, honey?”

Quote:Eloise: Don’t fear death, fear the state you will die in.
Rose, nodding, whispering fearfully: New York.

Quote:Cammie: 'Go hang a salami' backwards is 'I'm a lasagna hog'.
Sloane: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

Cash to : You've been disappointing our family for five minutes, I've been doing it our whole lives. Sit down.

Cash: Ellory and Claude are on their honeymoon, so there's not the usual balance between sane and others. Evelyn has mentally checked out since the wedding. It's a dangerous time. The 'coalition for reason' is extremely weak.

Claude: Hey, can I ask your advice on something?
Cash: Are you sure, dude? Isn’t there someone else better you could ask, like literally anyone else?

Quote:Date: You're not like other guys.
Freddie: I am the amalgamation of every single guy I've ever thought was cool.

Quote:Frida, drawing a pentagram on the floor: You told me to satanize the house.
Blythe: I SAID SANITIZE!

Quote:Louisa: you can be very mature for your age sometimes.
Charity: thank you, it’s the trauma

Quote:Eldin: What's your greatest fear?
: Last year I threw a boomerang and it never came back. I live in constant fear of its return...
Eldin: That's not what I meant-
Royal: It's my greatest fear.

Quote:: Why would you give a wand to a child?!
: Charity felt unsafe.
Evander: Now I feel unsafe!
Alfred: I'm sorry.
Alfred:
Alfred: Would you like a wand?

Quote:*Finnybone on a date at the zoo*
Finnian: What are they in for?
: Finnian, this is not prison.
Finnian: So they can leave?
Belle: No, but-
Finnian, pointing at a penguin: I bet that one murdered someone.

Quote:Cameron: One day, I'm going to say "Fight me!" and someone really is just going to fucking deck me.
: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Quote:: Gretchen, there's a monster under my bed!
: It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen!
Frida, on the bottom bunk: Why are you like this?

/ : mmm, Meri you gotta order a piece of this apple pie.
Meri: I did....and you guys immediately ate it.

Jude: You think all round fruit are apples.
Key: No I don't.
Meri: What are these? (Cherries)
Key: Tiny apples
: And that? (Pumpkin)
Key: Halloween apples.

: This is breaking and entering!
Benedict: [trying to pick a lock] No, no, no - only if we break something, and THEN enter something.

: You guys do realize how insane this is, right?
Ari: Yes.
Ben: You call it insane, we call it Tuesday.
Baxter: It's Thursday.
Ben: Is it really?