Charming

Quote:Juniper: I don’t sweat.
New Lady’s Maid: Everyone sweats...?
Andrew: Not Juniper. She never sweats.
New Lady’s Maid: What do you mean “she never sweats”?
Juniper: Sweating is gross, so I don’t do it.

Quote:Claire: Candles are how we keep fires as pets.
Flora: This is unnecessarily adorable.

Quote:Sweetie: There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Sweetie Whitledge way.
Honey: Isn’t that the wrong way?
Sweetie: Yeah, but it’s faster.

Quote:Handsome: I intend to get as far away from this place as possible.
Sweetie: Oh, Santa got my letter!

Quote:Claire: The word “fear” is not in my vocabulary!
Carius: Perhaps not, but it’s in your eyes.

Quote:Flora: *looking toward Claire* Have you ever just looked at someone and imagined holding their head underwater?
Random Friend: …
Flora: Yeah. Me either…

Immie: I just want a bar where it's not very loud, the drinks are cheap, and there aren't any other people.
Mac: So you want to drink at home, then?
Immie: That sounds perfect.

: Hey, do you wanna bang?
Bella: I mean - hang?
Bella: [laughs nervously] Damn autocorrect.
: Bella, this is a verbal conversation.

(September 26, 2018 – 8:13 PM)Jude Wright Wrote: [ -> ]jk if life weren't all angst, maybe

Kieran: Hey guess what this jumper is made out of
Jude: Boyfriend material?
Kieran: [rolls eyes] No, it's 100% wool
Kieran: I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing

Quote:Regina *bad at flirting*: I really like your name.
Richard *equally as bad at flirting*: thanks I got it for my birthday.

Quote:Castor: Have you been up all night?
Henrietta *after trying to find clues on her brother’s whereabouts all night*: Is it morning?
Castor: Yes...
Henrietta: Then I've been up all night.

Quote:Andrew: On a scale of one to ten, you’re a nine, because I’m the one you need.
Juniper: I’m a ten.
Andrew: No, Juniper, it’s a pickup li-
Juniper: I. Am. A. Ten.

Quote:Cora: I'll go with you.
Bella: I can't risk someone I care about getting hurt.
Regina: I'll go.
Bella: Okay.

Quote:Handsome: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess.
Sweetie: That's OK. I don't mind.
Handsome: The mess though.
Sweetie: Don't be silly.
Handsome: I don't want you in my house.

Quote:Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

Quote: : Why do I have to be the bad guy?
: I don’t know. Why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

Quote:Monty: I don’t dress to impress. I dress to depress. I wanna look so good people hate themselves.

Quote: : Always stay positive!
Domhnall: [falls down a flight of stairs]
Domhnall: Wow, I got down those stairs so fast!

Quote: : Honey bun?
: Yes?
Richard: *blushing* I meant, would you like one?
Regina: *blushing* Oh. Yeah, sure. Sugar?
Richard: Yes?
Regina: *blushing harder* I just meant, would you like some in your coffee?
Richard: *further embarrassed* Oh. Yeah, sure.
Both: *flustered*
: *from a distance* Even I am getting embarrassed from watching them.
A mutual Avril/Regina friend: I think I know what you mean.
: Should we like help them?

Quote:Regina: Richard kissed me!!
Avril: *gasps* NO!
Another Friend: *squeals* Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
Regina: It’s unbelievable.
Friend: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
Avril: Okay, okay, we wanna hear everything. [Friend], get the wine and unplug the phone. Regina, does this end well or do we need tissues?
Regina: Oh it ended veeeery well.
Friend: *running with the wine glasses* Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
Avril: Alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like, a y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?
Regina: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then… Oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…
Avril and Friend: *squealing* Aaaaawwwww!
[Scene changes to Richard and Buddy casually eating pizza around the table]
Richard: And uh, and then I kissed her.
Buddy: Tongue?
Richard: Yeah.
Buddy: Cool.

Quote:Chrysanta, carrying a large box: What would you do if I came home with, um, ten more puppies?
Acacia: What's in the box?
Chrysanta: ...
Acacia: Chrysanta, what's in the box?
Chrysanta: I think you know.

Quote:Richard: Why me?
Regina: Because people like you! You're quiet. You say "excuse me." You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning.

Quote:Juniper: Where’s our daughter?
Andrew: She went out.
Juniper: She’s grounded!
Andrew: .....are they not allowed out when they’re grounded?

: The first time we met, we hated each other.
Bella: No, I didn't hate you, you hated me.

Bella: I’ve come to offer you some friendly advice about Richard.
: Bella, I really don’t want your advice.
Bella: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

: What’s the worst decision you’ve made while you were drunk?
Bella: Don’t mean to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Quote:Regina: Were you dropped on your head as a child?!
Bella: Bold of you to assume I was held.
Everyone: ...
Regina: Oh, Bella...

Quote:Edric (hyperventilating): 911? Yeah, my wife is going into labor.
911 Operator: Is this her first child?
Edric: ...
February: Don't you DARE-
Edric: NO, THIS IS HER HUSBAND

Quote:Regina to Bella: I'm sorry for apologizing via howler.

Quote:Camille: Sisse, how do I get revenge on those who have wronged me?
Sisse: The best revenge is letting go and living well.
Camille: ...
Camille: Holly, how do I get-
Holly: Stab. Eliminate. Destroy.

Quote:Katherine: The human body is 70% water. So we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety.
Handsome: Excuse me, with the amount of alcohol and salt that I consume, I'm more like an anxiety pickle.

Quote:Holly: A peaceful walk in the woods really relaxes me the fact that I’m dragging a body should be irrelevant.

Quote:Aubrey talking to himself: *frustrasted* just f*ckin talking, you stupid idiot, what's your problem?

Quote:Sweetie: I like that we say "Oh, man" to express disappointment. Because men, in fact, are disappointing.

Quote:Monty: The only straight I am is straight up bitch.

Quote:the poet is rabbi yehuda al-harizi/judah ben solomon harizi! it’s from his book of taḥkemoni iirc, and the quote is “if Moses had seen the way my friend’s face blushes when he’s drunk, and his beautiful curls and wonderful hands, he would not have written in his Torah: do not lie with a man”