RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Monty Morales - April 13, 2018
Quote: Some Rando: I relate to Belle because she loves to read books and loves people for their souls.
Monty: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.
Quote: Monty: I would do anything for you
Ishmael: Tell me my sense of fashion is better than yours
Monty: ... almost anything
Quote:Ishmael: On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need 
Monty: no wtf I'm a 10
Quote: Monty: [to Ishmael] Look in that mirror. I see a strong, confident, handsome man. Oh look, you're here too!
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Cassius Lestrange - May 15, 2018
Tiberius: You know like - you ever burn ants? When we were kids?
Cash: No, that's horrifying.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Bella Scrimgeour - May 15, 2018
Bella: [after leaving the hospital] You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Elias Grimstone - May 27, 2018
#procrastination
Jude: Kieran, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.
Kieran: Ooh, someone’s in trouble. It’s me. I don’t know why I did that.
Any of Porphyria's unmarried friends: I'm having problems with a guy.
Porphyria: Like “his dead body won’t fit in your car” problems or “you like him” problems?
Friend: “I like him” problems.
Porphyria: Too bad, I would have actually helped you with the other one.
Ben: If I run and jump at Ari, he will almost definitely catch me.
Ben: *runs at Ari*
Ari: BEN NO I’M HOLDING COFFEE–
Ari: *drops the coffee to catch Ben*
*showing new friends around*
Calliope: Here is my wall of inspirational women.
Helga: Is that a picture of you?
Calliope: I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
Lorcan: If it’s a concussion, you have to keep Finnian conscious, okay? Ask him questions.
Maeve: What’s seven times seven?
Lorcan: Stuff he knows.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Miriam Trelawney - May 28, 2018
Miriam: It makes me suspect you're all starting to believe I have feelings. This is counter to my personal brand.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Elsie Kirke - June 2, 2018
inspired by Thom at the COB... if Leon were there.
Thom: that one?
August: Nope.
Thom: -points to a different deb- That one?
August: No.
Thom: Her?
August: Ehhhhh
Leon: Don't mind if I do! /skips off
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Tilda MacFusty - June 2, 2018
This is just a huge dump of incorrect quotes. I was bored.
Ari: We're adults.
Bax: When did that happen?
Ben: And how do we make it stop?
Bax: That's blackmail, that is. We could get into a lot of trouble for that...
Ben: Blackmail's such an ugly word... I prefer 'extortion.' The X makes it sound cool.
@'Eavan MacKay': [to Amelia &
Barnabas Skeeter] I understand that you guys have a love/hate relationship, but most people alternate between those emotions. They don't experience them at the same time.
Eavan: You slept with Barney, didn't you?
Amelia: Are you insane?! Not even if the continuation of our kind depended on it would I be tempted to do something so awful!
Eavan: *raises eyebrows*
Amelia: ...Yes, I slept with Barney.
In which I imagine Ari & Ben as a couple ranting to each other about their day.
Ari: You have to pick your battles.
Ben: I am! I'm picking all of them!
Ben: [to Ari] Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk in again?
Ari: [about Ben] He annoys me so much, I just want to kiss his stupid face.
Yeah so MJ, now I need a thread with BenAri meeting for the first time.
Ari: First impressions are very important.
Ben: But you married me anyway.
Ben: Let's go get a drink.
Garrett: Ben, it's eight o'clock in the morning...
Ben: Well, we'll get eggs too.
Ben: Baxter, you've given me the courage to go back in there, confront my husband, and tell him he was right all along.
Tilda: For future reference, the best surprise is one I know about five days in advance.
Garrett: [to the GABB] Mates, I don't know how to say this, so I'll whisper it in Ben's ear and he'll blurt it out in astonishment.
Garrett: *whispering to Ben*
Ben: AURELIA IS PREGNANT?!
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Bella Scrimgeour - June 3, 2018
#ProcrastinationStation
Quote:Art: What’s wrong with you?
Bella: Off the top of my head, I’d say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
Quote:[after a match of quidditch]
Jossima: Yeah. They very, very unfairly accused us of poisoning our rival team.
Carm: You got framed?
Jossima: No, we did poison the shit out of them. But they didn’t have any proof.
Quote:Phyri: What are you doing?
Don Juan: Catching Pokemon.
Phyri: We're in a museum.
Don Juan: Pokemon Gogh.
Quote:Richard: When are you next free?
Bella: Well I’m forever imprisoned in my own personal psychological hell so I am never truly “free” but I don’t have any plans Monday.
Richard: … Monday works.
Quote:Holly: You have no idea what I’m capable of!
Germander: Don’t take it personally, but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.
#HowlersEdition
Quote:Dezzie: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous.
Dezzie: If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Declan: What if it bites me and it dies?
Art: Then you're poisonous. Merlin, Wood, learn to read.
Handsome: What if it bites itself and I die?
Munny: That's voodoo.
Tyb: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Dezzie: That's correlation, not causation.
Declan: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Art: That's kinky.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Mundungus MacFusty - June 7, 2018
Quote:Munny: Apparently 'spite' is not an 'appropriate answer' to "What motivates you?"
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Edric Umbridge - June 11, 2018
Quote:Febby, to Edric: I’m too tired to punch you. Bash your face up against my fist.
Quote:Kitty: Talk to her, that's what siblings do.
Handsome: Nope. I'm gonna wait 'till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
Kitty: That's your plan for dealing with this?
Handsome: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm going to win that way.
Quote:Bella: I’m playing a new game! It’s called “Every time I get depressed, I take a drink!”
Cora: That game exists. It’s called Alcoholism.
Quote:Ernie, about to lecture: Let me be straight with you about this.
Tristain: I’d rather you be gay with me.
Quote:Dionisia: What if I want to have sex before I get married?
Zelda, full of regrets: Well then…I guess you just have to be prepared to die.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Clara Ross - June 12, 2018
Quote:Domhnall: (With his foot stuck in a chair) You may be asking, 'Dom, how did you do this to yourself?'
Domhnall: (Slightly baffled and trying to get out) Well lads, Dom doesn’t know either.
Quote:Future!Sage: Murder is like potato chips: you can't stop with just one.
A spin off from brees :P
Quote:Ernie, trying to lecture: I would like your undivided attention, please!
Tristan, doing something else: you couldn't handle my undivided attention.
Quote:Aldous: Roman! It’s Ben, he’s back.
Roman: Thank Merlin he’s back alive, I’m gonna kill him!
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Edric Umbridge - June 15, 2018
On my expectations for this next Febric thread:
Quote:Febby: The fog's reached High Street. Oh, and we're in the Daily Prophet, too.
Edric, still in the hospital: Fuck.
Febby: That's literally what everyone thinks we're doing.
Edric: [unknowingly holding her hand] At least we're proving them wrong?
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Cassius Lestrange - June 18, 2018
Sarah: We’re here to say hello! It was Miriam’s idea.
Meer: It was not.
Sarah: It was Meer’s idea because she’s a kind and thoughtful person!
Meer: I am definitely not.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Cassius Lestrange - June 19, 2018
Leon: We're going to go downstairs and I'll help find you a hot chick who'll make you forget all about ol' what's-her-face.
August: It's not going to be another prostitute, is it?
Leon: I HAVE APOLOGIZED FOR THAT.
Leon Lupin
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Edric Umbridge - June 20, 2018
Quote:Bella: You need to take me out.
Richard: On a date? Or with the killing curse?
Bella: Surprise me.
Quote:Edric: I just feel as if I have a better understanding of this situation than all of you, so let’s just do as I say.
Tuni to Febby: Is he this bossy in bed?
Febby: If I’m lucky.
Tuni: You’re always lucky.
Quote:Sweetie: What makes you so sure?
Handsome: Because I’m the oldest, which means I’m always right.
Sweetie: No it doesn’t.
Handsome: It totally does.
Quote:Dionisia: I like my boys as I like my girls. That's it. That's the joke. I'm bisexual.
RE: Incorrect Charming Quotes -
Cassius Lestrange - June 22, 2018
Ben: I'll hold your wallet.
Art: Oh, I don't have a wallet. I have a plastic bag with my license and change in it.
August: Look, being friends with Leon is complicated. Because you want to change him so badly, but you can't. Because he'll just get worse.