Charming

Dear Diary,My cough is gone. Thank goodness. Hopefully it will stay gone. Being sick during the holidays would certainly be dreadful. Perhaps it is from too much time inside. A day of fresh air will be good. Not too much today though. I shall wait a few days, just to make sure I do not bring the cough back if it was a small cold.

At least the illness had not seemed magical in nature. Magical illnesses can be quite strange and dangerous. The very idea of becoming ill with a magical sickness scares me. Too many thoughts of how papa died fill my head just thinking of such things. It scares me, and saddens me.

I wonder if my siblings have such fears of illnesses that are linked to magic, or even illnesses in general. Do they have such worried thoughts that I carry? Perhaps not. Handsome may even call me overdramatic if he were to hear such thoughts from me. Though he would never say that to any of our sisters. I seem to always get the worst of his judgement, no matter what it is that I am doing.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,I was approached by Mr. Montgomery today. He is one of the other students in Transfiguration Club with me. Apparently rumor has spread of my studies into becoming an animagus. I am not quite sure whether that is a good thing or not. Rumors tend to make others look down on someone. Though, I suppose rumors can be good.

How fast would the rumor spread if I succeeded in such a magic? Of course I will be registering with the Ministry with my talents. I have no reason to hide such a marvelous gift. The idea of running off to do something stupid is... well... stupid. I am far more responsible than my siblings would like to believe.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,I finally had a good amount of time outside today. Though it was cold, it was rather beautiful. It felt nice to take some time to myself rather than focus all of my energy into staring at books all day. Fresh air, gazing over at the Black Lake, feeling wind rush through my hair. It felt good to not be trapped too much in my own mind.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,It is my birthday today. Once again, I receive nothing from my brother. My mind debates once more if I should get him anything at all. I remind myself that our sisters deserve better. To see their brother and sister actually get along. Perhaps one of us acting kind will put their minds at ease. If I send him anything, it is for them. Not him. So I shall.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,The year is almost over. Christmas is coming soon as well. I’m not sure what the new year will bring. Hopefully no more death. How can anyone handle the losses that my family has? How can we handle any more?

I don’t know how to protect my remaining family. There is no true way, I’m sure. Half of them can’t even stand me. I wish for that to change as well. Perhaps this next year will be better.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,It feels good to be out of mourning. While it has been a little while since the mourning period ended, I hadn't had the chance to write about it until now. And I have returned to my new home for the holidays this year. I am no longer under my brother's roof, so it should not lead to drama for me to leave school for the winter holidays. I decided to get Handsome a gift. It shall be sent by owl. Though I did not receive a birthday gift, I will be the bigger person in this situation.

Still, it is unlikely that he will even attempt at inviting me over for the holiday. No matter how much any of my sisters may actually want me their. If they do at all. Honey might, possibly Darling and Pumpkin as well. I can never really tell with Cupcake. Handsome would most certainly not want me there. Oh well. I shall live with that. He is the only one being stubborn now, and I will not let him make me take all of the blame. I apologized for my part in things. That is all there is to it, for him to grow up.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,It is starting to seem like I shall not be receiving a gift from my brother at all this year. Not even a card. Apparently he hates me that much. What was I expecting from the boy who stated that he wished that I had never existed. My hopes should never have been as high as they were. Higher than I even realized. I shouldn't even bother to be emotional. He wouldn't care. But even now I find myself to be crying. Pathetic tears that should not even exist.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,Darling came to visit. She was wearing the necklace I gave her for Christmas, and genuinely seemed to like it. That is good. Hopefully our other sisters like their gifts as well. Handsome likely threw his away. At least I can know that some of my sisters care for me. I hope all of them do, but it feels like I'd be expecting too much from life if I tried to convince myself that they all did.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,Winter break is almost over. I can't stand the lack of things to do around here. I'm not out in society yet or able to work as an Unspeakable. I can't even go over to visit my sisters without Handsome throwing a fit. At school I could visit them, though I would likely go back to focusing on my studies. Becoming an animagus is one of my top priorities, as well as getting good grades. I'm sure my sisters will understand. Though I still don't know if I want to tell all of them about my studies to become an animagus.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,That little wench! That weasel! That vile little brat by the name of Jemima Farley is an awful child who should never be allowed near civilized people again! Being a dreadful human being as it were, she mocked both my sister and Chrysanta's! Both girls hardly deserve such treatment. Though I'm sure Chrysanta will take care of her own sister, I feel the need to defend the honor of mine. I do hope that Darling is OK. I know she has Pumpkin and Honey to comfort her at least.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,I confronted the terrible girl. I must say, it felt good to vent out my anger. I don't think I've done that out loud since Handsome was at school. Always hiding away, not being able to figure out my feelings. All of this sadness and abandonment that I feel. I need to figure it out. But I don't think I have anyone that would help me. Maybe Chrysanta. But it's not easy talking to someone who has good relations with her family, though I wouldn't wish my situation on anyone that I would be personally willing to talk to. Perhaps Jemima Farley. I'd wish this terrible life on her. Aside from possible becoming an animagus, she doesn't deserve that possibility.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,Pumpkin confronted me regarding my studies to become an animagus. I suppose rumor has spread. How far has it spread? Who actually knows? Why do I even care if Handsome knows at this point? He's made it clear that he doesn't care. Not about me or what I do. If I got turned into a werewolf, he'd likely simply ignore me even more. Part of me wishes that he was out of my life for good... but that may only hurt our sisters. And that frustrates me. He is the one hurting our sisters. But it always seems as though the blame is placed on me! I tried my part in speaking with him. His pride is simply more important that his sisters.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,It is quite embarrassing that I first got the year wrong on this. That seems to happen quite often for people during the first month of the new year. Not very surprising. But that is not what I had originally hoped to write about. Each day I wish that time would move a little bit faster. I hope to finally finish school and get started on building a life. Wherever that may lead. It feels as though I am stuck. This is not what I wish for myself. But I can't leave school early, of course, or I will not be able to become an Unspeakable. This time in my life is surely frustrating. And I have no real person to turn to.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,I lost a duel today. While normally I would feel quite sorry for myself, I simply don't. Mr. Bones is a fellow member of the dueling club, and in the same year as me.

What also kept me from getting to angry as, surprisingly, the temper tantrum of a younger student. Miss Holly Scrimgeour, the young menace to society. The little snake was rambling on, and actually had the nerve to say I was preaching when I happened to respond after she practically stared at me.

Thinking on this, it reminds me of myself when I was around her age. Have I really been that much of a brat? While I would never say that Handsome was right, for he had his own wrongs that shall likely never be corrected, it does put his views into a new light.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,I produced a wisp at the end of class today. Truly I do hope to know my patronus before I leave school. Not knowing would certainly haunt me. In all honesty, I have expected to create a patronus today. Alas, I will simply have to keep trying.

From, Rachel

Dear Diary,More and more of my fellow students seem to be learning of my studies to become an animagus. Perhaps this will take their minds off of my past behavior. Of the drama between my siblings and I. Perhaps not. I will see, won't I?

Bijoux always seems to be too bored. It could be due to all of my studying. I do hope she is not mad at me. That would certainly be a shame. Perhaps I will send for a new toy for the little creature.

From, Rachel