July 31st, 1891 — The Apothecary, Diagon Alley

For probably the first time in his life, Cameron had begun dreaming about essays, boiling cauldrons, and early-morning quidditch practices. While his younger self might have identified them as nightmarish symbolism, his current self knew exactly what they were: a desperate need to be back at school, even if it meant facing all the parts he dreaded. He awoke from each dream with a sense of longing, and a sense of disappointment as well—disappointment that he was in his Irvingly bedroom, his wand tucked away and unable to be used, and his Hogwarts robes folded in the trunk at the end of his bed.

It might have been that longing that spurred his trip to Diagon Alley the next day, or maybe it was a natural need to be in a more magical atmosphere than Irvingly had to offer.

He'd made his rounds. Fudge & Sons—a secondhand bookshop—an owl emporium—and then, finally, the Apothecary.

As a younger student he'd never felt comfortable inside apothecaries, only because he'd been so insecure in his knowledge of herbology and potions that he hated having to admit that he couldn't tell the difference between a fairy and a doxy wing. Now he was older, more confident, and... well, at least better-educated, and with his hopes still set in the direction of a healing career, he couldn't help himself.

And apparently, neither could Alice.

She was the only one in the store when he entered, and she was right there. He froze in place, his gaze caught on hers as he fought the urge to flee (as if that would have helped!). Finally, he swallowed the thickness in his throat and his pride, and offered a tight smile.

"Shopping so soon?" he asked, as if he wasn't there doing the same thing.

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Alice Dawson

  

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The infrequent trips to London and letter exchanges with her friends were the only two sources of happiness keeping Alice from tethering on the edge of a meltdown. A few days prior she had made her intentions regarding school known to her silent heartbreak they had readily agreed with her assessment. Four educations would be too heavy a burden for an already struggling family, and five would absolutely break them. Besides, by sixteen Alice's mother had faced a similar set of circumstances and had survived it just fine. She would have a future somehow, just not the one she had always envisioned for herself.

After assisting her father with the set up of their stall, she had slipped away to Diagon Alley. With her more frequent trips to London, Alice was becoming more comfortable with its twists and turns than she had been a year ago. Then again, a year ago she had believed being guided around was charming. Oh how wrong she was.

Her first stop was always to the apothecary, for at least if she was discovered by a friend or relative she could easily explain it away as a ingredient finding mission for her mother. It didn't matter that her pockets were empty or that her mother had less knowledge of potions than Alice herself did. The excuse was all that counted in the eyes of the world, or at least rhat was what she hoped to be true.

The apothecarist had smiled knowingly at her and excused himself to the back for a moment upon her arrival. He was never gone for longer than a minute or two, but Alice had stopped in enough times now that he knew she wasn't a thief. In truth, all she wished to do was immerse herself within one of her favorite environments. An enjoyment that soon drew to a close when none other than Cameron Gillenwater stepped into the shop. Worst still, he had thought it appropriate to engage her in a conversation.

"Picking up some ingredients for my Mother," she lied, using her ready made excuse. Her hands were empty and she kept her gaze on a spot behind Cameron, but he couldn't classify her as argumentative this time, which given the way they last parted was really all either of them could hope for.

  

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She answered him, which was a step-up compared to their time at school spent pretending the other didn't exist while in close vicinity to each other, but it was almost more awkward now; they didn't have anyone else to turn around and talk to, nobody to pretend to hear calling their name, and nothing to accomplish in a short amount of time (unless Alice was in a rush, which she didn't look to be).

"No luck yet?" he asked, his gaze dropping to her hands, which were empty.

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"No," Alice shrugged. She could easily pretend to have investigated the shelves and leave empty handed, but to do so would then mean her escape from home would be significantly shortened. "Well, don't let me keep you. The shop keeper should be back in a moment," Alice then added, offering them both an obvious out of this awkward encounter.

  

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Amazing set by Bee!

Alice wasn't exactly subtle in her offering of an out, but Cameron wasn't sure how to gracefully exit the conversation without also exiting the Apothecary (which he wasn't sure he could do gracefully, either). So he stayed.

He moved to the counter and peeked through the glass top, looking at some of the more expensive ingredients the shop had to offer. "Did he go to fetch you something?" he asked, all the while wondering why dragon scales cost so damn much,

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She sighed. After months of avoiding one another, Alice never thought she would have had to tell Cameron to leave her alone. Why now? Why after months of silence and disregard was he suddenly interested in a banal conversation about the bloody apothecarist? "No," Alice answered curtly, hoping that her change in demeanor would offer him the chance to take the hint. Of all their friends, Cameron was damn near the bottom of the list of who she'd like to speak with at present. Sisse took the bottom spot, however guilty that made Alice feel, but with Sisse's success came Alice's failure. Something she wasn't yet ready to confront outside of her family.

"You don't have to keep me company, I'm fine." She then followed it up with, hoping that if her no wasn't obvious enough this statement would be.

  

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Cameron's gaze snapped away from her face, her tone cutting through him like a knife. It hurt, and he knew it was his fault, and even though he was still mad at her for taking things the wrong way—nearly a year ago, he noted—the anger was not as raw, not as potent as it had once been.

"I didn't come to keep you company," he said, trying to reply with the same coldness, but realizing with dismay that he sounded more like a wounded puppy. "I actually came here to shop, you know, for a..." He looked around, eyeing the stand that was labeled Hogwarts as if it would stop students from venturing further into the store and disturbing whatever supplies was kept here.

"... A new cauldron," he decided, albeit unconvincingly.

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Her expression soured. Cameron shopping for a new cauldron (even if it was a lie) meant he had passed his potion's OWL with a high enough score to move onto the NEWT level classes. He was moving forward and she was to be moving on. Alice shifted on her feet. "The shopkeeper should be able to help you with that," she replied whilst unable to meet his eyes. "Congratulations."

  

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The meaning behind her congratulations didn't register at first. He stared at her blankly, trying to imagine what she could be congratulating him for... and then it hit him. "Oh," he said, feeling suddenly peeved that he'd given his OWL results away without intending to, "Yeah. Um... didn't expect to pass," he said with a noncommittal shrug.

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Alice shrugged. She hadn't expected him to pass either with how little effort he'd supposedly put in. It was another stinging reminder that only the well off would succeed.

"Well, congratulations."

  

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Cameron felt stiff. He hated it.

"And what about you?" he asked awkwardly, turning his body to mess with some of the items on the nearest shelf. "Get your letter alright?" She had no exams to look forward to, but he had been wondering who received the little badge with their letter. Any of the girls—except Sloane, maybe, and Meta Lestrange—seemed like good options for prefect.

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What about her indeed. As expected, Alice hadn't been named prefect. Unlike the boys, Sisse was far better suited for prefect than she was. Despite not knowing from Sisse herself yet, Alice was convinced the perfect Gryffindor had been named prefect.

"It wasn't me that got the badge, if that's what you're asking. That was to be expected, though. I just hope Bridget or Callum have better luck than me." She said noncommittally

  

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Cameron's heart dropped, but he wasn't sure why. He hadn't felt sad for Alice in a long time—sad because of her, maybe, and sad to be in her presence, but not for her.

"That's too bad," he said awkwardly, "but why do you say that? That you hope they're 'lucky'?" It wasn't as if prefects were randomized; the student the head of house and headmaster thought was best typically got it.

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It was the secret she'd been working up the courage to tell her friends all summer. Edison had a glimpse of the truth, not that he knew it. Sloane and Sisse knew nothing. Not even Lester or Calla had an idea of what she had planned. Had she not been so surly and caught within the web of her pity party she wouldn't have began the sharing with Cameron, but at least now someone other than Mr. Chatham knew.

Facing him dead on with a stoney expression, Alice informed him of the news. "My parents needed me to receive the scholarship if I was to continue on at school. The academic one is good, but it doesn't cover enough. And after this year Niamh will be off to school, too. It'll just be too much for them." She fidgeted with her hands, her gaze dropping to the floor between them. "I'll be leaving school after OWLs this year."

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   Elsie Kirke

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Amazing set by Bee!

Cameron swallowed, and suddenly none of the past year's events—the fighting, the yelling, the ignoring each other and avoiding each other at the Gryffindor table—mattered. Cameron had spent the last year navigating his own academic struggles, but none of them involved an ultimatum like the one Alice was apparently going through.

"Wh-What?" he stammered, his brows furrowing and mouth dipping into a frown, "but you're—you're smart. You could get the full academic scholarship still, right? They told us about that last year. All Es and Os." Not that he was anywhere near earning that, but it didn't seem impossible for someone like Alice.

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She shook her head. "There's still the cost of supplies, uniforms and all the rest." Alice had gone over the math time and time again, unless she had a guaranteed ride to NEWTs the financial risk wasn't worth the cost. Should she miss a grade and lose her academic scholarship all materials for sixth year would have been a waste. She couldn't in good conscience force her family further into financial hardship for her dreams. It wasn't fair to anyone.

"It's fine. There's plenty of worthwhile careers to pursue with your OWLs." She continued on in a futile attempt to convince herself that this decision was, indeed, fine. No career other than healing would ever satisfy her dreams, but dreams weren't meant for her sort.

  

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