A call from the Hatchitts only two weeks earlier would have elicited a very different reaction from Sisse. Oh her stomach still leapt when Lester and his mother had been announced into the drawing room, but now it was layered with so many other emotions. She truly didn't wish to visit them on such a beautiful moment as this so she sat demurely as she watched Mrs. Hatchitt discussing baked goods with her father. She didn't try to slip away or engage in any additional conversation, indeed, she rather thought she was poised as she masked her feelings, trying to bury them down. She had felt she knew precisely what to do and now ... faced with Lester she truly wasn't sure.
What once would have been excitement turned to dread in her stomach at Mrs. Hatchitt's suggestion. But it had to be done. "
Certainly Mrs. Hatchitt." Sisse gave her a charming smile and stood gracefully up from the couch. Her rose colored skirts swept around her as she led them outside to the privacy of their garden.
Her mother had loved roses and while the garden was small it was tastefully decorated in the fashion of a British rose garden. Sisse had tended to it since she had returned from school, caring for several new rose bushes near the arbor where her favorite bench sat. She led Lester toward her favorite corner now as he spoke to her, making sure not to speed down the stone path to the nook. It was out of site of the first floor windows of the house and indeed her room was the only one on the second floor that could see the beautiful tree with the bench leading to it and the rose cover arbor leading toward them. It was surrounded in the hedges that marked the border of their property and it was Sisse's most favorite part of the garden. With Mrs. Potts' and Calla's help she'd even begun to introduce other flowers along the paths by the bench as well. What had been a project from her mother had become something wholly her own in this shaded corner of the garden.
Lester's questions pulled Sisse's attention away as she walked with him, so many that she laughed, there was a nervous edge to it, but still there was something in his inquiry, the true earnestness in his questions - in his curiosity. It was a something that shifted the ground under her feet in an unsettling way that she truly ought not to look any deeper at. "
Miss Chattaway has settled in well, I am nervous she doesn't like it here, but at least she and Matthew are not arguing." And her father had been around more frequently in an effort to help the young woman settle in as well which was a welcome surprise for Sisse.
"
I enjoyed the ball." Truthfully she had not. She had tried to. She'd danced and laughed and done all the right things - for all the wrong reasons. And she'd completely avoided Lester, accepting every dance and never allowing herself to be caught alone by anyone. They were not quite far enough away from the house for such an admission, but looking at the earnest gaze of Lester's she found she didn't want to pretend with him. A sigh escaped her lips. "
Truthfully? It was weird." She looked down at the path before them as she confessed. A blush crept onto her cheeks, "
I felt as if I'd been passed over, as if I ought not to have been there." She should have been settled by now. She ought not to still be attending balls as a debutante but instead as a married woman. But she'd lost sight of that in the last year, holding on to hopes and dreams that were unrealistic and had only served her hurt her in the end. She had wasted her season and she was all too keenly aware of it.