March 16
To the Daily ProphetAttn: General Manager
I strongly approve of your recent usage of Forsyte's Discretionary Ink. It caused quite an uproar amongst the women in my household, who felt much oppressed by not being able to read the news in all its gorey details — but the lot of them have too much gore in their lives already, so they were hardly missing anything of import to them and the entire ordeal was terribly amusing to me. I expect the ladies will find ways around the censorship, but nevermind that... you may have even created a new career field for literate young men willing to shock ladies for a sickle. Doing the Lord's work, truly.
Sincerely et&
Ozymandias Dempsey
Ozymandias Dempsey
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MJ is the light of my life <3