Guilt as thick as molasses crept through him. He hadn't meant to shut her out so completely, it was merely just how he coped. Discussing his troubles only led to dwelling upon them, and when he dwelled he tended to lose control over his tightly reigned anger. He sat back onto his haunches and frowned, his concern for both her physical and mental state overwhelming his desperate need for control.

Beau sighed heavily and squeezed her hand. "It's not that I don't want to talk to you about it," he attempted to explain. Her permission, while appreciated, wasn't going to be taken anytime soon anyway, especially after tonight's episode. "Theres a lot of my past that I don't talk about. My father. The fighting and dueling rings. School. I don't cope well with anger. It makes me antsy and itching for a fight. This whole — this whole thing with Odina has me so furious I don't know what to do. A younger version of myself would have done horrific things." Talking about any of this wasn't on his agenda for tonight, but Beau refused to let hsr rest feeling like this.

"Working with my hands is the only method I have to not do worse things." Murder being his primary thought. "That's all. It's just how I process when there's too much else going on."

  

Wincing, she moved to sit up. The pain had ebbed, though moving still hurt the muscles that had ached, but she needed to look at him straight on for this. She listened carefully, really listened for the first time tonight, eyes trained on his as her hands framed his face. Smiling softly at him, she ran her thumb across his cheek.

"I'm sorry it's been so hard for you," And she hadn't made it easier, she knew, but she'd hoped that maybe their little home, the baby, somehow it would help him start to move past all of that. Now with Odina in the mix, she wasn't so sure. That tied him to the past like another anchor he didn't deserve. "You're not that person anymore." Eva firmly believed that. The demons of his past didn't own him, even now knowing about Toby, they had to figure a way out somehow. Asking him to let it go was impossible, he was too stubborn for that, but she didn't know what else to do for him and that was really got to her.

The guilt was eating away at her now, she'd gone too far and now who knew what was wrong with her, but she wasn't about to add any weight to his already burdened shoulders. "I don't want you to feel like you have to keep that from me though," Maybe she could take a little bit from him, just enough to ease the frustration in the moment. "I genuinely want to be there for you, I just want you know I'm here if you decide you need me." That was all she could do, wasn't it?

---

  

---

The pressing guilt still existed, but Beau decided better of further unloading tonight. Perhaps if she hadn't experienced whatever pain she had or if they hadn't fought, he might've. However, all there was for him to do now was comfort her as best as he was able.

"You are there for me," he reassured her with a soft kiss to their joined hands. The sofa, while comfortable, wouldn't be kind to her back for a long period of rest. Not to mention he didn't particularly relish the thought of sleeping sitting on the floor tonight (if there was any sleep to be had, anyway). Beau released his grip on her hand to quietly pull off her shoes, each one landing on the ground with a heavy thump. "Will you be okay if I bring you to bed?" He asked softly, ignoring their discussion and argument now altogether. "You shouldn't sleep out here all night."

  

Everything felt so foolish now, but at least Eva has learned her lesson and hopefully they would only be stronger from here on out. Every argument had a purpose, even if it didn't feel like it at the time. Every time something like this came, she either learned something about him, herself or their marriage. At least there was that.

He seemed set on moving on and she was too tired to push. She'd said what she needed to, put herself out for him whenever he needed and she'd just have to wait and see if he would come around. "Yeah I think I'll be alright." She could probably walk, but he probably wouldn't let her.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep at least?" She always slept better when he was beside her, but she meant it when she said he could go work on the fence if he needed to. As long as he waited until she was out, it would be fine.

---

  

---

As soon as she mentioned being alright, Beau delicately pulled her back into her arms and carried her to bed. That he had done this exact routine countless times over the past few months was far from his thoughts (about as far as the circumstances that had him carrying her). He tucked her into her side of the bed and wasted no time in stripping his dirty clothes. Beau was a wild man, he knew, but even he detested the feel of grime beneath the covers.

"I'm not going anywhere, Eavan," he promised. And he wouldn't, not so soon after that strange pain she experienced. The thought of her suffering alone without him (or anyone) nearby to help was enough to make him fear ever leaving her. Perhaps he could bribe Fergus to owl him with hourly updates on Eavan's condition. Or, at the very least, bribe him to owl at any sign of trouble. Eva was a stubborn creature, she would suffer alone before summoning him home from work.

Beau pulled her further flush against his side and kissed her temple. Sleep for him would be a luxury tonight, but at least she would finally get her much needed rest. Leaning down, Beau pressed a soft kiss to her temple and whispered, "I love you."