Loving her wasn’t enough. She loved someone else, and she loved him more. It was a crushing reality given how intensely he felt for her; he couldn’t imagine feeling such intense feelings for anyone else, not in the same way he felt for her. No bond would reach that level of intimacy, the sort that was not formed in society but rather separate from it altogether. It was so far removed from words like courtship and engagement that those possibilities had not crossed his mind until she’d revealed there was another.
Hearing her say she loved him did nothing to help. He thought it would, because it wasn’t a rejection. Her loving him meant that his emotions weren’t misplaced, weren’t without reason. There was something between them, and in any other situation those three little words exchanged between them might had solidified a future together.
But it didn’t. Not in this situation.
He watched her as she backed up against his couch, and for a moment he wondered what it might have been like to have her visit the way they’d planned. He’d agreed to, but that was before he’d learned that there was another. They might have had an awkward cup of tea before going out to the cliff sides. She would have asked about the dragons, and he would have insisted to show her the rest of the island before he put her in danger. He would have showed her where he watched the muggle fishermen in the distance, where the flowers bloomed in the spring, and where his favorite quiet spots were. He could have shown her the dragons, too, and she would undoubtedly gotten angry at him for being so protective of her. She would have forgiven him, though, because she would have understood—and more than that, she loved him. He wouldn’t have known it, but there was a comfort to that. Blissful togetherness with no worries of this.
That was out of the question now. This was all he’d remember when he passed her in the streets years from now, assuming he ever stepped foot of the isles again.
“It won’t always be easy,” he whispered in response, leaning back against the wall for support. “I thought it would be easy. Life. I had no reason to think there would be hardships.” He knew he wasn’t an easy person to be around, but that was because of fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear of unwantedness. Fear of helplessness. “One day something will happen with him, because life doesn’t care about your feelings. And then it won’t be easy anymore,” he spoke, more sure of that than anything he’d said tonight. Life’s up and downs were more certain than any love. “These have been the hardest months of my life, Fallon. We could only go up from here. It would get easier.” Especially knowing she loved him. No longer would the fear of the alternative drive a wedge between them.
He took a step forward, and then another. He moved until he stood a foot away from her, and—surprising himself, as evidenced by the way he his eyes widened—placed his hands on either side of her on the couch.
“The easy way isn’t always the right way,” he whispered.
Hearing her say she loved him did nothing to help. He thought it would, because it wasn’t a rejection. Her loving him meant that his emotions weren’t misplaced, weren’t without reason. There was something between them, and in any other situation those three little words exchanged between them might had solidified a future together.
But it didn’t. Not in this situation.
He watched her as she backed up against his couch, and for a moment he wondered what it might have been like to have her visit the way they’d planned. He’d agreed to, but that was before he’d learned that there was another. They might have had an awkward cup of tea before going out to the cliff sides. She would have asked about the dragons, and he would have insisted to show her the rest of the island before he put her in danger. He would have showed her where he watched the muggle fishermen in the distance, where the flowers bloomed in the spring, and where his favorite quiet spots were. He could have shown her the dragons, too, and she would undoubtedly gotten angry at him for being so protective of her. She would have forgiven him, though, because she would have understood—and more than that, she loved him. He wouldn’t have known it, but there was a comfort to that. Blissful togetherness with no worries of this.
That was out of the question now. This was all he’d remember when he passed her in the streets years from now, assuming he ever stepped foot of the isles again.
“It won’t always be easy,” he whispered in response, leaning back against the wall for support. “I thought it would be easy. Life. I had no reason to think there would be hardships.” He knew he wasn’t an easy person to be around, but that was because of fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear of unwantedness. Fear of helplessness. “One day something will happen with him, because life doesn’t care about your feelings. And then it won’t be easy anymore,” he spoke, more sure of that than anything he’d said tonight. Life’s up and downs were more certain than any love. “These have been the hardest months of my life, Fallon. We could only go up from here. It would get easier.” Especially knowing she loved him. No longer would the fear of the alternative drive a wedge between them.
He took a step forward, and then another. He moved until he stood a foot away from her, and—surprising himself, as evidenced by the way he his eyes widened—placed his hands on either side of her on the couch.
“The easy way isn’t always the right way,” he whispered.
— way too attractive set by mj <3 —