Nearly a month ago, Fallon had balked at the idea of being engaged to him. She was only just beginning to cope with the trauma then and everything seemed to be moving at warped speed. Back pedaling was her only option at the time, escaping, fleeing. It was all she could do. But, even then Fallon knew she didn't want that to be the end of her and Jesse. Even then she had asked him for time to get to know one another before taking further steps.
And they had.
She knew all about his childhood and family. She knew his likes, dislikes, his skills. Aside from the tundra, there was nothing she hid from him, and the tundra wasn't so much hid as ignored. With Lachlan, their trauma was almost all they had now. They didn't joke as they once had, their meetings always held an air of grief. Fallon didn't begrudge him that, how could she when she had accidentally caused parts of it? It was just ... what if Lachlan never recovered? What if their days stayed dark for all their time together?
She leant over the kitchen counter and grabbed one of the small towels Malou had laying around to wipe her face with. "You want to marry me?" Fallon asked hesitantly. Merlin, he wanted to give her back the ring. He wanted a lifetime with her. How could she refuse him after allowing him to think it was a possibility all along?
How could she deny her love for Lachlan?
"I do care for him, I don't think I could ever deny that." It went both ways, though. Her affection for Jesse would never diminish either if they did break now. What this entire decision boiled down to was who she couldn't live without, and Fallon was too cowardly to admit to it. She wiped her eyes with the towel again. Merlin, she had never cried this much in her life. "Would you still marry me knowing that? Knowing there was a piece of me that you wouldn't be able to understand when someone else could?"
And they had.
She knew all about his childhood and family. She knew his likes, dislikes, his skills. Aside from the tundra, there was nothing she hid from him, and the tundra wasn't so much hid as ignored. With Lachlan, their trauma was almost all they had now. They didn't joke as they once had, their meetings always held an air of grief. Fallon didn't begrudge him that, how could she when she had accidentally caused parts of it? It was just ... what if Lachlan never recovered? What if their days stayed dark for all their time together?
She leant over the kitchen counter and grabbed one of the small towels Malou had laying around to wipe her face with. "You want to marry me?" Fallon asked hesitantly. Merlin, he wanted to give her back the ring. He wanted a lifetime with her. How could she refuse him after allowing him to think it was a possibility all along?
How could she deny her love for Lachlan?
"I do care for him, I don't think I could ever deny that." It went both ways, though. Her affection for Jesse would never diminish either if they did break now. What this entire decision boiled down to was who she couldn't live without, and Fallon was too cowardly to admit to it. She wiped her eyes with the towel again. Merlin, she had never cried this much in her life. "Would you still marry me knowing that? Knowing there was a piece of me that you wouldn't be able to understand when someone else could?"