September 11th, 1893
Dear Curiously Cautious,
Forgive me if some of this comes across hamfisted — I've tried to draft this response a few times now. It's odd that something that I feel so strongly can still be so difficult to put into words.
I find myself lonely, too. Our society seems only designed to support one type of bonding, for apparently eligible men and women, and that's courtship with a view towards matrimony. I decided a long time ago, for reasons that are personal but very strongly held, that I would make a poor parent and a poor partner. I don't think I could in good conscious ask a woman to marry me when I would be unable to share my full self with her, and unable to satisfy the desire most women have to start a family. And it follows then that I couldn't, in good conscious, make any efforts to get close to any woman of my acquaintance, knowing that I could not someday propose.
But that doesn't mean I can simply shut off the desire to have a genuine connection with someone.
I won't ask for any specifics of your own situation, if you're not comfortable sharing them, but if you're in a situation where there's anything you'd like to get off of your chest — well, I think the anonymity of letters where we are unlikely to ever meet provides a sort of security for sharing confidences.
In any case, I'd love to hear more about you. Anything you want to share.
Inquisitive
Forgive me if some of this comes across hamfisted — I've tried to draft this response a few times now. It's odd that something that I feel so strongly can still be so difficult to put into words.
I find myself lonely, too. Our society seems only designed to support one type of bonding, for apparently eligible men and women, and that's courtship with a view towards matrimony. I decided a long time ago, for reasons that are personal but very strongly held, that I would make a poor parent and a poor partner. I don't think I could in good conscious ask a woman to marry me when I would be unable to share my full self with her, and unable to satisfy the desire most women have to start a family. And it follows then that I couldn't, in good conscious, make any efforts to get close to any woman of my acquaintance, knowing that I could not someday propose.
But that doesn't mean I can simply shut off the desire to have a genuine connection with someone.
I won't ask for any specifics of your own situation, if you're not comfortable sharing them, but if you're in a situation where there's anything you'd like to get off of your chest — well, I think the anonymity of letters where we are unlikely to ever meet provides a sort of security for sharing confidences.
In any case, I'd love to hear more about you. Anything you want to share.