I was waiting for the end of the month to start a fresh volume, and had to squeeze five days’ worth of my journal in the back of the last one. And then I couldn’t write last night, because I was at the masque for Hallowe’en, and had drunk a little too much wine at the party to bother trying to write. I should have hated this first page to be a mess. That would be a bad omen, I’m sure.

But a new journal volume calls for new resolutions, as if it is a new year. And it was my birthday only a fortnight ago – twenty, now! does that not sound so dignified? – so it is timely, too. And only last night Lila and I had what I shall only call a heart-to-heart, and she has such faith in me and my future! So I have begun this volume on a high, with all the hope in the world. Thus, my resolutions:

I. Never say a bad word about anyone in here. Candour is no excuse for cruelty. I fancy I have much excelled with this in recent volumes, though it is a pity I was not yet so mature at school.
II. Following that: be a kinder person. I must show it in my actions as well as my words.
III. Find a suitable match for Delilah so that she might remarry.

Did you notice the absence of another resolution, one that I have marked in every other volume since third year? To find a match for myself – and it is still a wish and a hope, of course, but I have decided it is simply too depressing to spend all my time thinking of it and thinking myself a failure. I shall focus on resolutions II & III instead, and perhaps my efforts there will shine through and make me admirable without requiring any affectation. And then someone might fall in love with me and my character, instead of the other way around! We shall see.

P.S. Resolution IV: Have breakfast. Am starving.
V. Hurry and get inkstain off my sheets.

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