“Please, sit.” Atticus frowned at his brother as he scooted toward one of the edges of the bench giving him a wide berth if he wanted it, although he wasn’t going to force it. This was a conversation they
had to have since he’d daftly opened the door, and no matter how many times he tried to shut it, Basil kept sticking his foot inside to prevent that from happening. Heaving a sigh, Atticus brushed his fingers through his hair before he entwined his fingers together and rested them in his lap.
A beat of silence stretched between them before as he considered where he should even begin with the whole tale. From the beginning, he supposed, would make the most sense.
“I met her at Padmore Park when I was twenty-two. It’s why I go there so often; it reminds me of her. She was feeding the ducks and almost fell into the pond, and well, I saved her.” He laughed quietly and shook his head. He'd grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up, and she'd smacked him against the chest thinking he was trying to push her in before her mind caught up to what had happened.
She hadn’t been anything special: middle class, poor enough that her dowry was downright laughable for the Foxwood family, and average looking enough that she would never catch the eye of someone looking for beauty. But she’d felt indebted to him and had offered him a pan of cookies if he stopped by the park the next day, especially after assaulting him. Atticus had been curious, so he did…
“We fed the ducks a lot. I met her nearly everyday after supper, and well… I fell in love with her.” She had been his first love; lust, maybe. In the end, Atticus wasn’t sure if she would have made him happy, but at twenty-two he wanted what he wanted.
He cleared his throat and met his brother’s gaze.
“I actually proposed to her a year later. And you know what she said. ‘No. I need to meet your family first.’ Meet you guys? You’d bloody well scare her away. But father was sick and she wanted to meet him in case he died before the wedding… and well, he hated her. He hated everything about her.” Atticus sighed and leaned back against the bench as he glanced upward toward the darkened sky; father had been downright cruel to her, asking her questions and tearing her down before she'd even had the chance to answer.
He never wanted to have his conversation.
“He told me if I married her, he’d disown me. So who then do I choose? Her? The woman I pictured spending my entire life with? Or you, the boy who wanted nothing to do with society and would go mad being the first son? The only son? All the responsibilities, all the decisions, everything about the family would go to you. You'd be forced to give up your position. Have an heir -” He pictured Lissington’s face and scowled. He was going to make that impossible for Basil, and he had to hatch a plan to stop that.
“And I couldn’t do that to you.” He whispered the last words, wishing the wind would blow them away.
Atticus hoped Basil would read between the lines. He picked
him. “I broke her heart, dad died and then she died, so I guess it didn’t really matter anyway.” He frowned then before he closed his eyes and sighed.
“That’s it, Basil. I don’t know what else to tell you.” It had years ago. He’d mourned, he’d moved on.
And well, now he loved someone even more than he did before.