December.17.1891

So, I am finally using that old leather diary Ramsay bought me. He says it might help with my… nerves, to get it all out on paper. I’m terrified someone will see this, so it’ll be charmed – nothing dangerous, as Sawyl and Finley might stumble upon it, but enough to dissuade them… Hopefully.
That’s not why I’m writing today, though; something terrible has happened today. Well, terrible might be the wrong word. My are hands trembling just thinking about it, however.
I have been aware of Mrs. Juliana Binns, if not by name then by face, for some time. We traverse the same areas in search of books, including Crowdy Memorial Library, but have never spoken; I am too much of a coward to approach such a lady…
She approached me, though, today. She has a way of conversing with people and was so, so nice. Then, out of nowhere, she invited me to the Minister’s Holiday Party. Me. Just the thought makes me ill… And faint. Deep breath, Beth, deep breaths...
I said yes; I have no backbone– and Mrs. Binns seemed rather desperate (I think…) to have someone go with her. It will be a sad thing to lose her good opinion of me (though I don’t know where it originates from to start with, but still) after all this is over. Ramsay is, as you can imagine, overjoyed that I will go out and socialize; he will be there but I cannot count on him to rescue me should thing go south.
He should be on standby, as I will surely succumb to my bad nerves during this party. And it will be in front of the entire Ministry. And then it will no doubt get back to Headmaster Black and the rest of Hogwarts staff; from there, the students will hear...
…Is it too late to become sick enough to miss?
IOh drat, I must go find something to busy my hands and distract myself before I make myself sick (again) with worry.