How were things for you this month? J has been doing something different lately that is helping me deal with It — still inside and carefully kept safe, don't worry — and things have been a little better because of it. Which is weird to think of; I didn't think anyone could come up with something to help, but if this keeps helping, he did manage.

I get worried in the fall, though — it's almost my anniversary. That is to say that next month marks seven years of this, which feels like a very long time, and yet it's going to be the rest of our lives.

Sorry — I shouldn't be bogging you down with my own thoughts about this. I hope you're doing well.

For me, I think the attack was worse. I don't mean to disagree with you — I don't, actually, disagree with you — but I was so ill after the attack, and by the time the transformation came around I think I didn't have the energy to be afraid of it anymore. I do feel like my life before was entirely different — it takes over everything, doesn't it? I'm always thinking about it, and I'm lucky, because most people don't know.

I've been counting from the attack, but — maybe there's two anniversaries. You and I weren't particularly lucky in autumns, I suppose.

J became an animagus. His theory was that werewolves tend to leave animals alone — which was true — and that It may not be hostile to a person in animagus form. So he's been sitting with me during full moon nights, and — it's been working. I'm really very worried that I'm going to hurt him, but I think It has been less agitated, and — he tells me that nothing's happened so far. Of course I don't remember, so I have to believe him.

I wonder if that's something normal animals would catch onto — the scholars don't think that It hunts normal animals, (hence why J thought to become an animagus), but I'm sure that they still know something's weird. Maybe they even know to avoid It. I don't know.

I think I would want to remember. Maybe just once, though, so I knew more about what those nights were actually like. What about you?

I feel that it would have to change things about what the wolf does, if we were able to keep our own minds in Its body. But you're right — living through it would be terrible.

I suppose that J could tell me what it's like — or the werewolf capture unit. But they both have their own perspectives, don't they? Everyone would come into it with bias.

Oh, I have my own bias, but as the lovely research subject, I think we would have to excuse me.