Unhealed Hearts - Printable Version
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Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - January 10, 2021
January 28th, 1891 — Hogsmeade Apothecary
Lachlan did not enjoy wintertime. At best, the need for jackets was inconvenient; at worst, the freezing temperatures had a tendency to kill off the vegetables in his garden and forced him to purchase his own food instead. The only upside to winter was that the dragons were more amenable to the prospect of being handled. He'd managed to get his hands on a few scales in the past month, as well as a handful of teeth from a toddling dragon on the reservation. At least it made making money a bit easier.
It had become routine since the beginning of December: weekdays were spent on the isles, and weekends were spent trading in London and Hogsmeade. Saturdays he visited the busy London magical markets and on Sundays the Hogsmeade shops, and on this particular Sunday he had a bit more than usual with him. The shopkeeper had gone into the back to calculate an offer, leaving Lachlan standing alone in the low-ceiling shopped. He did not think much of it when the little bell above the entranceway rang—not until a familiar voice filled him with dread.
Fallon. He could not bear to look at her directly, instead opting to glance at her out of the corner of his eyes. He hated this. He needed out.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - January 10, 2021
Fallon was gradually becoming accustomed to doing her shopping in Hogsmeade. The small town's main strip of stores didn't hold a candle to the likes of Diagon Alley, but if this was where she was to eventually live she would have to make some sacrifices. (At least, it was where she presumed she and Jesse would eventually wind up, seeing as he had more tethers to Hogsmeade than she to London.) There was also the added bonus of seeing her younger brothers on occasion, which, after nearly forgetting their existence, she continued to feel a tad guilty about.
Her field kit needed replenishing (a perpetual need, really) which was to be her first stop of the morning. From there, she intended to visit the book shop to pick up a crime novel Jesse mentioned. Then, if she had time before returning to his and Kirke's home (not through the front door, of course), she would pick up some treats from the bakery to share. The treats wouldn't be as good as Malou's, but seeing as how her roommate was working that morning Fallon couldn't expect her to be baking as well.
All her plans vanished from her head within seconds of walking into the apothecary. She greeted one of the employees, a waif of a girl who looked as though she ought to still be in school, with a polite smile before her eyes locked onto the back of the man she knew all too well.
Lachlan.
She debated fleeing, abandoning him once more to his devices, but she instead found herself propelled forward to the counter. Dragon scales, the main ingredient she had come for today, were too valuable to leave where a thief would have easy access, she supposed. They were side by side at the counter, perhaps three feet between them, when Fallon dared to glance towards him. "Hello, Mr. MacFusty," she greeted politely. He was going to bolt, she knew it. He would also be right to bolt after what she'd done.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - January 23, 2021
If she had any mercy, she would have ignored him. She would have asked the apothecarist for the supplies she needs, without addressing him, and left as quickly as she'd came. But of course, Fallon couldn't do that. She didn't think—or likely even care—about his feelings.
He shouldn't be surprised.
He didn't answer for a moment, his eyes staring down at the empty counter in front of him. Of all the words that he could say, hello seemed the easiest and simultaneously the most ridiculous. How could he exchange such simple pleasantries after she'd left him for another man after promising him her heart, leaving nothing more than a letter of apologies?
"Abernathy," came out of his lips instead, cold and quiet. He didn't owe her a proper greeting, one that referenced their previous closeness—certainly not the night she'd spent in his arms.
He shouldn't be surprised.
He didn't answer for a moment, his eyes staring down at the empty counter in front of him. Of all the words that he could say, hello seemed the easiest and simultaneously the most ridiculous. How could he exchange such simple pleasantries after she'd left him for another man after promising him her heart, leaving nothing more than a letter of apologies?
"Abernathy," came out of his lips instead, cold and quiet. He didn't owe her a proper greeting, one that referenced their previous closeness—certainly not the night she'd spent in his arms.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - January 24, 2021
She winced at his greeting, though knew she deserved his fury and more. He had made her promise to break his heart in person, to spare him the grief of discovering her leaving him through a letter, and she'd done just that. But, what else was she to do when every time she saw him he easily swayed her otherwise? Fallon knew in her heart she belonged with Jesse, but whenever Lachlan looked at her with that gaze it felt as though her innards would erupt in flames. Their love would have consumed them in a blaze of passion and anger, only to leave them both cold and alone in the end.
Jesse was the safe choice. Her calm in the storm. Fallon was more convinced of that now more than ever.
They had but a minute or two to converse before the shopkeeper returned or an employee came over to assist her. What to say, though? An apology was laughable, a plea to hear her out even more so. Seconds passed as she stared at the rows of jars ahead, despite her every inclination to turn and face him. Eventually, she quietly stated, "I hope you're well."
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - February 5, 2021
He found his feet tapping the floor quietly as the seconds passed by. The apothecarist did not reappear. There had always been tension between them—romantic tension, sexual tension, the occasional frustration that nearly always cracked in the end, but the tension that filled the air now was different. It was unsettling, angry, uncomfortable. There was nothing like being stuck in a room with an ex-lover—one who had abandoned him—and not be able to do anything about it. He needed his money, and she wasn't going anywhere.
Her words struck him like a slap to the face, and he resisted the urge to let out a slew of obscenities. Instead, he quietly scoffed. "Mighty fine," he said, his resentment plain and clear in every syllable. "S'ppose you're well." She had to be, all happy in love with the man she'd never bothered to tell him about until she couldn't avoid the subject any longer. Aye, he supposed she was doing just fine.
Her words struck him like a slap to the face, and he resisted the urge to let out a slew of obscenities. Instead, he quietly scoffed. "Mighty fine," he said, his resentment plain and clear in every syllable. "S'ppose you're well." She had to be, all happy in love with the man she'd never bothered to tell him about until she couldn't avoid the subject any longer. Aye, he supposed she was doing just fine.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - February 5, 2021
One needn't be an auror to pick up on the signs Lachlan was throwing in her direction. She should go, leave him to his business and try the apothecary another day. But, she needed the dragon scales sooner than later. And, more importantly, she still missed being able to converse with him.
"Managing." She answered reluctantly. Things with Jesse were going well, at least until they brought up her work anyway. And work was, well it was complicated and exhausting. All the mundane facts of life she was no longer permitted to share with him.
Fallon looked about the shop uncomfortably. Her sense of self preservation was screaming at her to leave before the conversation devolved into something far worse. Instead, she fidgeted with the handle of her basket and dared a single glance towards him.
Merlin, he looked like shit.
What could she do other than look sharply away from him, though? He was livid — rightfully so — and here was neither the time nor place to have the conversation required. Truthfully, Fallon doubted he would even allow her to try and explain herself.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - February 5, 2021
Managing. He could have laughed. All of that—the sex, the drama, the heartbreak, the letter—and she was just managing? He'd rather she tell him she was blissfully in love than have her try to play it off so casually.
Now his fingertips drummed across the countertop. He so wanted to say something, something that would force her to acknowledge his pain and how bold she was to acknowledge him after leaving a hole in his hart, but she'd probably like that. She probably liked having that hold over him.
That's why he never wanted to fall in love. It never went well. He'd told Pettigrew that much two days prior.
"Good for you." His tone was bitter and he wished it wasn't; he couldn't help it, though. She was happy and he was not, and she'd been the one to decide it was going to be like that. He hated her for it.
Now his fingertips drummed across the countertop. He so wanted to say something, something that would force her to acknowledge his pain and how bold she was to acknowledge him after leaving a hole in his hart, but she'd probably like that. She probably liked having that hold over him.
That's why he never wanted to fall in love. It never went well. He'd told Pettigrew that much two days prior.
"Good for you." His tone was bitter and he wished it wasn't; he couldn't help it, though. She was happy and he was not, and she'd been the one to decide it was going to be like that. He hated her for it.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - February 5, 2021
Her knuckles went white around the handle. She knew in leaving him he would hate her, she knew it even before psnning the final letter. Knowing and having to face such resentment were two vastly separate types of pain, though. There was no avoiding thinking of him and their time together when he was but a few feet away. There was no suppressing any lingering guilt or pain she still harbored when he spoke to her like so.
"I'm sorry," she breathed in a regretful whisper. Lachlan might not have even hsard it, perhaps it would be better if he didn't. Apologies were cheap when the actions proved otherwise. And, when it came to her tall oaf she had proven herself anything but a person deserving of forgivenesss.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - February 5, 2021
Sorry, she was sorry. He might have laughed if it was socially acceptable, and if he wasn't afraid to start an argument, or - whatever. There was something about the sting of unrequited love (even though it had been requited itone point, he thought) that left him on the defense. Anything he had to say could be refuted by well, I chose him not you, or something along those lines.
"I know. I read your letter," he said, just as quietly but with a far more venomous intent. His muscles tensed as he anticipated her response, but at that exact moment the apothecarist came out, a smile on his face, unaware of the the tension between his two patrons. Lachlan disengaged completely from Fallon and turned his attention to the money being placed on the counter.
"I know. I read your letter," he said, just as quietly but with a far more venomous intent. His muscles tensed as he anticipated her response, but at that exact moment the apothecarist came out, a smile on his face, unaware of the the tension between his two patrons. Lachlan disengaged completely from Fallon and turned his attention to the money being placed on the counter.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - February 5, 2021
Lachlan had had months to give her a single indication of his affection. They spoke of marriage, their plans for the future, a great many topics that he could've very well have hinted towards something. Of course, he was grieving and likely wasn't ready to involve himself in any grand relationship. But, still! He could have given her some kind of sign, something she might've used to spare them both the inevitable pain of heartbreak.
She thought to say as much, to try and explain a piece of it at least, when the apothecarist returned. Right, this was neither the time nor place, and he likely wouldn't have listened anyway.
"Always a pleasure, Mr. MacFusty," Fallon bit out once his transaction with the apothecarist concluded.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - February 5, 2021
He placed his hands over the coins and then paused. He had to walk by her to leave the shop, and although he could always avert his gaze as he left he didn't want to show that she still had that much power over her. He hadn't looked her in the eye since that night, when she'd left him with hopes of a future and never returned.
As he passed her, he found the strength to look her in the eye. He was physically bigger, taller, but he felt smaller when his eyes met her warm brown ones. "Maybe for you," he said, trying for cold and harsh but ending up somewhere between hurt and angry. His shoulder brushed hers as he made way for the door, causing a shiver to go through his body. It could have been them at one time, but now it never would be.
The moment he walked through the door he apparated away, unaware that he'd left the coins on the counter.
As he passed her, he found the strength to look her in the eye. He was physically bigger, taller, but he felt smaller when his eyes met her warm brown ones. "Maybe for you," he said, trying for cold and harsh but ending up somewhere between hurt and angry. His shoulder brushed hers as he made way for the door, causing a shiver to go through his body. It could have been them at one time, but now it never would be.
The moment he walked through the door he apparated away, unaware that he'd left the coins on the counter.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - February 5, 2021
Maybe for you.
The words echoed repeatedly through her ears even as the door closed behind her. This was the exact reason why making her dscision and remaining firm to it was so fucking difficult. Fallon hadn't intended to hurt him, nor did she wish for him to still be this untethered months later. Lachlan deserved better than that — better than her.
She was a wildfire and he was a strong, windy day. They would have consumed everything in their attempt to be together.
Fallon would've left it with his unkind goodbye were it not for the five coins glaring at her from the counter. Fuck, she thought furiously to herself. Who knew if this shopkeeper was honest enough to return what was due?! Without addressing the smiling man (who likely was an honest sort) Fallon swiped the coins and stormed from the shop, only to realize Lachlan was nowhere in sight.
Mailing the coins to him would've been a brighter idea than gripping her wand and envisioning herself in the Hebrides. Anything would've been better than that, really. But, Fallon was too keyed up for a fight to think rationally.
Lachlan had always made her irrational.
"Do you think it was easy writing that letter?!" She shouted as soon as her body appeared in his cottage with a loud crack. "Do you think I sat there for hours thinking happily to myself that I was going to fucking break the heart of a man I loved?!"
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - February 5, 2021
Lachlan was in his home, his chest tight and full of dread, still unaware that he'd left the coins in the shop. It was probably better that he didn't realize; nothing would have been worse than the shame of having to walk back into the shop with her there and retrieve his coin. It would have, however, provided a better explanation for the sudden appearance of Fallon in the middle of his living room. He stepped back in a shock, and then grabbed the back of the couch as if it would steady the thrumming of his heart.
She was screaming—about the letter, about writing it, about how she loved him, and he couldn't decide whether it pissed him off or satisfied him. On one hand, he enjoyed that she felt bad about it, because she should. His love for her was still strong, but not as strong as his resentment. On the other hand, he was angry—she had no right to be in his home, yelling at him about this when she'd made the decision to leave him. As if he should feel sorry for her for breaking his heart!
"Don't you dare act like you're the victim," he snapped, finally working up the courage to talk. "You had the choice. You didn't love me, you just wanted me; you told yourself that so you didn't feel guilty." Guilty kissing him when there was someone else, sleeping with him—he wasn't sure what he was implying. "And I'm the idiot for believing it."
She was screaming—about the letter, about writing it, about how she loved him, and he couldn't decide whether it pissed him off or satisfied him. On one hand, he enjoyed that she felt bad about it, because she should. His love for her was still strong, but not as strong as his resentment. On the other hand, he was angry—she had no right to be in his home, yelling at him about this when she'd made the decision to leave him. As if he should feel sorry for her for breaking his heart!
"Don't you dare act like you're the victim," he snapped, finally working up the courage to talk. "You had the choice. You didn't love me, you just wanted me; you told yourself that so you didn't feel guilty." Guilty kissing him when there was someone else, sleeping with him—he wasn't sure what he was implying. "And I'm the idiot for believing it."
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - February 5, 2021
"Wanted you?! Do you think I fucking planned this?!" She shouted, tossing the first of the five coins at him with as much force as she could muster. There was no chance of Lachlan denying he had taken her virginity, not with the trace of sticky blood she left afterwards. He could hate her, could resent her for the last of his days, but she would not allow him to make her out to be some kind of hussy.
"I had the choice and I chose the man who would still love me in a year." She spat back almost as viciously as his I read the letter. Lachlan and she were bound by trauma and grief, love was just an inevitable force of nature.
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Lachlan MacFusty - February 5, 2021
The coins came flying at him and he hardly registered it, his focus instead on the judgment in her words and the volume of her voice.
"You might not have planned it, but you knew. You knew you loved him and you still came here!" He might not have been the virgin, but he was the one who'd been used. She left after their night together and never came back. The letter wouldn't have hurt as much if she hadn't given herself to him, not a verbal promise but a physical one, only a night before she made the decision to leave him in her past.
The words that left her mouth were borderline more hurtful than the letter. She could say all she wanted about how the other man would love her, how he would keep her secure and safe, but she had no right to pass judgment on him and his feelings.
"Love you in a year? I've been here for months—without you, mind you!—and I still—" Still love you, he wanted to say, but he stopped himself. It didn't take a genius to finish the sentence, but he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of hearing him say it out loud. Instead he took a shaky breath, looked down at her feet, and shook his head. "You never gave me the chance to love you, Fallon. Don't act like you know how it would have turned out."
"You might not have planned it, but you knew. You knew you loved him and you still came here!" He might not have been the virgin, but he was the one who'd been used. She left after their night together and never came back. The letter wouldn't have hurt as much if she hadn't given herself to him, not a verbal promise but a physical one, only a night before she made the decision to leave him in her past.
The words that left her mouth were borderline more hurtful than the letter. She could say all she wanted about how the other man would love her, how he would keep her secure and safe, but she had no right to pass judgment on him and his feelings.
"Love you in a year? I've been here for months—without you, mind you!—and I still—" Still love you, he wanted to say, but he stopped himself. It didn't take a genius to finish the sentence, but he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of hearing him say it out loud. Instead he took a shaky breath, looked down at her feet, and shook his head. "You never gave me the chance to love you, Fallon. Don't act like you know how it would have turned out."
RE: Unhealed Hearts - Fallon Gillespie - February 5, 2021
"To end things. I came here having made my choice." She clarified bitterly. That things devolved from there was a bit much even for her, but it wasn't as though she intended to fall into bed with him that night (or onto his couch, rather). Fallon tried to follow through on her promise to not break his heart by letter and look where it landed them. Right in the center of some great romantic tragedy. "You asked me to do it in person so that you could hear it from me. I did that." The first time. "I did as you asked and it spiralled from there. For that, I'm sorry." For that and for everything else.
Fallon never could've anticipated meeting him on a train would land them here, heartbroken and angry all over again. Here she was on the cusp of eloping with her chosen lover, and Lachlan was wallowing in his misery still. He loved her still.
She took a deep breath as she turned from him for a moment. Emotional conversations with him often led to impulsive decisions that she would later regret. She had to reign in her temper, to apologize and leave for the third and final time. So long as the conversation remained just that she could still look Jesse in the eyes without a shadow of doubt. So long as she remained on the far side of the room, Jesse wouldn't have cause to end their relationship.
"Lachlan, do you not see how miserable we would've made one another?" Fallon asked in a calmer but no less serious tone. "Look at what it took for you to even tell me you cared. Look at all the fighting we've done, even before the Artic." She insisted, her hands moving animatedly in front of her. Strands of hair pulled loose from her bun to frame her face. "How can you look at that history and think we had a chance at all?"