I am most afraid that your letter? Memo? Has been misdirected to my attention rather than that of the one you have intended it for. I thought to have included it so you can attempt again.

I have to admit however, I am an inherently curious person; what is so critical about kiwis? I shall return your original letter when you've explained.

Herculean tasks you say? I am most intrigued, though since you have indulged me in my curiosities, your letter, as promise.

If you would continue to indulge me in stories of strange Moroccan requests, I would be most appreciative, because I am hilariously invested now.

Oh, the horror.

A story for a story. What an interesting idea.

Personal or work? I'm more inclined to make fun of myself, so we shall start there. I once got into it with a horde of garden gnomes in the family garden. I was napping and they tried to take the licorice wand from my picnic basket while I slept. I still have a scar on my chin where one of the little buggers bit me. I was eight at the time and even to this day will not engage with the cretins unless absolutely necessary.

Now, clementines you say?

They were not invited guests, let's put it that way. They're nasty little buggers, I take delight in uprooting then whenever I can.

Hmm, it does sound a little iffy that it was an accident. At least it wasn't a potion of unknown origin or something that smelled positively foul. Citrus smells delightful, though I suppose it may have stung when it first happened.

You seem to have a fair few run ins with the visiting internationals, dare I ask why?

How is it you picture me? You don't in fact know anything about me, accept for my innate curiosity (Ravenclaw) and that I once battled garden gnomes.

Ack, in the eyes, I didn't think about that. Most unpleasant.

My exactly in my wheelhouse or department. Purely domestic for me.

Interesting. Well to help your mental painting's clarity; I'm rather tall, quidditch beater's build, blue eyes, brown hair, constant state of stubble. Quite handsome if I do say so myself. Now I insist when you recreate the image, my battle with the gnomes is accurate and epic.

My position is anything but boring. The pile of papers waiting to be filled and filed because I'm so busy. Keeps me on my toes, wouldn't have it any other way.

My mother tells me quite frequently, does that not count anymore? I supposed that does sound rather arrogant of me, but then again that is also not far from my personality either. In moderation of course.

Paperwork is the devil really. Worst part of the job. Unfortunately can't live with it, can't live without it around here. If only someone else could fill it out for me. Alas, tis not the case. Speaking of I am out the door to handle one, enjoy your afternoon.

I am one of a few brothers in my family, I wonder if she says as much to them... ah well I am pleased you can acquiesce to her favor. 

Mount Paperwork is an insurmountable climb unfortunately. You think you're making headway and you fall back down halfway without a clue as to how it happened. I've spent the entire morning working on mine which means it's eerily quiet around here and I am about to get smacked with more calls than I can handle...

Hope you get somewhere with the task at hand today.