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The Pain of Reality - Printable Version

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The Pain of Reality - Lucille Lukeson - June 11, 2020

June 10, 1890 - Flint Mansion, Dorset, England

In the course of an afternoon Lucille's life had turned entirely upside down. She had had weeks to brace herself for the thought of actually giving birth to this child. Weeks to finish her blanket and ease Ace's worries. But now her time was running short.

The healer, who she had so desperately hoped would tell her this was all an overeaction, that everything was fine, had taken one look at her in the drawing room - her face pale, holding her breathe as pain wracked her body - and determined that everything was not, indeed, fine. He'd directed Meldoy to help Lucy to her room so he could take a closer look at her. He'd probed around places Lucy had only wanted her husband to see, had pressed on her stomach, and had determined that Lucy would bring this child into the world much sooner then she expected. Thus he'd confined her to her rooms and her plans for having this child in London had evaporated. She had refused to let Melody tell Ace what was happening, he'd be home from the office soon enough.

Now she was face with the cold hard truth that she was about to have a child. A child that was coming much sooner then it should. And the truth terrified her. She paced the room like a hippogriff in a cage. Melody's brown eyes watching her every move. The baby couldn't be coming, it was much too early. Her mind kept repeating that as she pace, her own eyes wild with fear.

She hadn't said anything since the healer had excused himself to prepare. Prepare for what Lucy wasn't sure, she hadn't quite heard anything after the pronouncement that she was actually about to have a baby.

Melody Crouch

RE: The Pain of Reality - Melody Crouch - June 12, 2020

The pit of dread which had taken up residence upon seeing the healer's tense expression had only grown as the afternoon progressed. Lucy's time was not yet for another month, and yet the babe would be here soon if Lucy's pains were anything to go by. For the second time since being disowned (the first being the fear of her own pregnancy) Melody found herself yearning for her mother's guidance. Marianne Finch had successfully birthed five children and guided Maisie through two births. If anyone could help Lucy now it was Marianne.

Except, Melody had no way of reaching her mother and knew even if she did Marianne wouldn't listen to Melody's pleas. Lucy had eloped and tarnished the family's reputation as well, and as such wasn't welcome to any such help. Which meant this was now Melody's responsibility. Guiding Lucy through whatever happened (Merlin, she hoped the babe survived) was her task.

The healer had fetched the midwife and outside Lucy's chambers was a chaotic scene Melody only previously knew of in books. Ace was not to be informed yet (a decision Melody wholeheartedly disagreed with but Lucy was unmovable from). Inside the birthing chamber though Melody tried to keep as calm as possible. It was obvious from her cousin's expression that the soon-to-be mother was anything but calm, but, well, that was to be expected. "Lucy..." Melody said quietly from her perch near the door. "Please allow me to summon your hushand. He deserves to be here, to know. Trust me."

RE: The Pain of Reality - Lucille Lukeson - June 12, 2020

Lucy would not hear sense but any withering retort was cut short by the pain that overwhelmed her. "No-!" She gritted out as she doubled over, her hands grabbing onto the back of her settee, knuckles white from the pain.

When finally it quelled, Lucy straightened, panting, her face pale. "He'll be home soon enough. I do not wish to worry him." He had work to do, things to attend to other than fretting over his wife. There was nothing he could do right now anyway besides pace outside the room and fret. Besides, some element of vanity still guided Lucy and she did not want him to see this.

None of this was going to plan! Lucy started her lap again, her dressing gown flapping over against the thin fabric of her chemise. "Merlin," Lucy started as she looked at Melody's worried face. "I'm not ready for this." An edge of hysteria mounted in her voice and she could feel the tears starting to well behind her eyes.

RE: The Pain of Reality - Melody Crouch - June 17, 2020

From the looks of it, Ace had every right to be informed and worried. The parade of people outside Lucy's chambers all seemed to be quietly panicking; Melody was nervous, and she also knew what a comfort having her husband nearby would be. When her cramps from the abortion began Ben had been there to hold her, to guide her through. It was a kindness she hadn't deserved but would forever be grateful for.

She stood and moved to where Lucy was standing, offering a hand for her cousin to support herself on. "No one is ever ready for what comes next. We just have to take it one step — one breath at a time." When the healer next stepped in Melody would write to Ace, Lucy's will be damned. He ought to be here for this.

RE: The Pain of Reality - Lucille Lukeson - June 23, 2020

Melody was right of course, Lucy tried to comfort herself, to breathe as suggested. But instead all she could dwell on was the fact that the baby was early. "But it's too early." She whined, her words half petulant child and half true fear. As if sensing her fear the child gave a strong kick against her insides, leaving Lucy to wince even as her hands hugged her pertruding stomach as if that would keep the child inside. "Melody, what if he doesn't survive?" Her fear stricken eyes looked up to meet Melody's own brown eyes.

RE: The Pain of Reality - Ace Lukeson - June 23, 2020

Things had seemed fine when Ace had left, though Lucille had seemed a bit anxious. At the time, he had dismissed it as the anxiety she normally expressed about him being gone all day. He wasn't sure he liked it either. Being gone so long, not having enough time with her. It was bound to lead up to a discussion of his career goals sooner rather than later.

Until then, he worked. And now, came home. Dusting the powder off of his jacket, he hadn't really noticed anything wrong until he heard so many voices nearby? "Lucille? Do we have company?" He questioned, a hint of concern rushing through him. He couldn't tell why, but something felt decidedly wrong.


RE: The Pain of Reality - Melody Crouch - June 29, 2020

Due to her general dislike of children, Melody hadn't the slightest clue of what the baby's chances of surviving were. Lucy appeared pregnant enough that she might be far enough along for things to be alright, but that was her best guess. None of which she was capable of voicing to her cousin. "The baby will be okay." She said instead, because comforting lies were always better than the truth in times like these. "Everything is —"

Ace's appearance was a welcome relief. At least now Melody didn't have to bear the guilt of betraying Lucy's wishes again. "Hello, Mr. Lukeson." Melody greeted quietly and gestured for him to take her place at Lucy's side. "The healers believe the baby is coming now. We've been trying to keep Lucy calm."

RE: The Pain of Reality - Ace Lukeson - July 4, 2020

Suddenly a woman he didn't really know was directing him to Lucille's side, and the feeling in his gut did not get any better. The baby was coming? This early? Ace tried to remind himself that Rosie was also early, that it turned out that everyone was really OK after the birth.

"Lucille, darling, why didn't you send for me?" He asked softly, concern clear in his voice. Taking her hand in his, he gently kissed her hand.


RE: The Pain of Reality - Lucille Lukeson - July 20, 2020

The sound of Ace’s voice brought mixed emotions with it: relief namely but also embarrassment and anger. She hadn’t wanted Ace to see her like this, hadn’t wanted anyone to contact him, but now that he was here she suddenly was really and truly scared. Her final bravado wearing away. “I didn’t want you to be bothered.” She explained meekly before she started crying.

“I don’t want to do this.” Lucy looked into her husband’s blue eyes her own welling with tears the fear completely evident in them. “I don’t want to do this.” She repeated with an edge of hysteria as her arms wrapped around her belly, willing the child to stay safe with in her.

RE: The Pain of Reality - Ace Lukeson - July 21, 2020

Bothered? Goodness, he would never call this a bother. Concerning, certainly. But he wasn't about to call it that when his wife was about to give birth.

What could he possibly say? Any words seemed insignificant. "You can do this. I am here for you, whatever happens." He said softly. In a million years, he couldn't imagine what she was going through. He didn't act like he did either. But she had people by her side, she needed to know that.


RE: The Pain of Reality - Lucille Lukeson - July 21, 2020

"But what if the baby doesn't survive?" Lucy looked at her husband the fear evident in her eyes. Even his calm words did nothing to quell the hysteria that was hovering around her. She knew she shouldn't worry Ace, shouldn't share with him a woman's burden, but now that the words were bubbling over her lips like the tears following from her eyes she couldn't stop them. "What if I don't?" She whispered.

RE: The Pain of Reality - Ace Lukeson - August 3, 2020

Worry was already in his heart. His wife's words didn't help, but he didn't want to worry her further by bringing up his nerves. This wasn't about him. "My love, I... I don't know how I would live without you. All I can do is have faith in the healers." He said softly. What else could he do?


RE: The Pain of Reality - Lucille Lukeson - August 5, 2020

Lucy met his eyes ready to agree with what he said, but his words did little but increase her own anxiety. She would have said something, likely something more hysterical, but instead another wracking pain surged through her and she doubled over a moan escaping her lips before she could stop it. Tears streamed down her eyes. To try to stop them, stop the pain, stop all of this she shut her eyes tight, not even noticing as Melody slipped out of the room to give the couple some space.

When the pain finally subsided Lucy could feel her cheeks turning red, realizing what her husband must see - and think - of her. "You shouldn't be in here. Shouldn't have to see all this." Her words were just as hysterical as they had been. What if something happened to her or the baby and he was here to see it? He had just told her he wouldn't be alright, she couldn't let him see that. And if she did survive he'd never think of her teh same after seeing her like this.

Any additional comments on her part were stopped by another pain, this one quicker and stronger, giving her little time to recover from the last. She couldn't help the words that slid in a helpless cry from her lips, "Make the pain stop." She moaned. So much for being the stoic heroine in this.

RE: The Pain of Reality - Ace Lukeson - August 9, 2020

Damn, of course his words didn't help. But what words could? This was honestly terrifying. Not that he was stupid enough to outright admit that. He wasn't perfect, and this was definitely the kind of thing that showed just how imperfect he was. Who could say the right thing at this very moment? What was the thing to say to make things all better?

Ace couldn't imagine seeing Lucille as any less than he saw her now. A wonderful and beautiful woman. He didn't expect her to be perfect. How could he possibly leave when everything was so up in the air? "I can't just leave you here." He said with notes of desperation. Leaving her to feel even more alone that she might already feel?


RE: The Pain of Reality - Lucille Lukeson - August 27, 2020

The healer didn’t give Ace any choice, bustling in at the sound of Lucille’s cry and directing the father to be to leave the room. Lucy didn’t have any fight left in her, she nodded weakly as the midwife entered the room and the healer left with her husband.

After that it was lost in a world of wracking pain. Lucy couldn’t keep straight what happened around her, just the incessant pain that went on and on. It could have been an hour or a minute to her. Outside the evening faded to dark as Lucille wrestled with the pain that surrounded her, with her fear, until she focused on the one singular point. No matter what happened this child had to be born.

The sun was just beginning to rise again when the squalls of a healthy baby reached the worried ears of those waiting outside her room. Lucille was too focused on the child being washed and bundled then about her own body and exhaustion.

It seemed forever until the child was handed to her, her son. Her precious beautiful boy. Lucy looked at him and all she could see was love.

Glancing up she realized Ace by her side, she smiled tiredly at him, “Would you like to meet our son?” She asked, holding the child toward him, hesitant to even have him away from her for a moment.

RE: The Pain of Reality - Ace Lukeson - September 4, 2020

It felt painful to be lead out. To leave her alone. How could either of them stand it? No sleep was to be had, and of course he would have to send word of his absence at work for the following day. Most of the night consisted of pacing. He tried to read a book at one point, but elected to toss it away after about half an hour.

Finally he was allowed back in. She looked exhausted. His eyes softened at seeing the both of them. Everything seemed fine. Exhaustion was normal, yes? Soon he was holding their son. "Oh Lucy, my love. He's beautiful." He said softly.