Charming
Courting? - Printable Version

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Courting? - William Abbott - April 11, 2020

Inquiring minds would like to know! How long are courtships meant to last? And engagements?

will just wants to marry diana kay?

RE: Courting? - Magdalene Cadden - April 11, 2020

I'm seeing 6 months to 2 years for engagements. I'm not finding any timelines for courtships.

RE: Courting? - Amelia Evans - April 11, 2020

Literally any iteration of what I try to google brings up only courting rituals and rules, but not where the length of periods are concerned =___= though I seem to remember that it might be around 4 months for courting and then another 4 months for engagement?

It also might depend on who the people are since I think that arranged marriages are a thing so they won't last as long as others.

RE: Courting? - Frida Lestrange - April 11, 2020

I mean with any relationship there's a lot of ~variables~.

Courtship was typically no shorter than six months but no longer than two years, depending on the relationship. During the engagement period the couple would be allowed alone together, so breaking engagements was taboo; thus, courtships were typically longer than engagements. I think I remember that engagements that were longer than 2 years would stir rumors?

IDK. We have an old guide?

RE: Courting? - Cassia Fawley - April 11, 2020

I also think it depends on how well a couple knows each other beforehand. Like, I remember when Garelia started courting, it lasted about 5 months but their engagement was only 4.

RE: Courting? - Cecily Gallivan - April 11, 2020

I would say it depends on the couple, but there definitely needs to be a period of each otherwise people will wonder why they rushed to get married. I'd say the minimum amount of months so people won't speculate that "aha! they married after a week of courtship because she's pregnant, obviously!"

RE: Courting? - Ginevra Blackwood - April 11, 2020

So laaawwwww

A couple were legally considered engaged when the woman could be said to have been led to believe there was an intention to marry. It didnt always require an asking. In some cases the evidence for this could be as tentative as asking a woman if she had ever considered getting married- a conversation under certain circumstances could be enough (case in limerick of a man asking a woman at a ball of she had inclination to marry soon- that was all it took if others had been led to believe they are more serious)

The standard for 'courting' was really low like going on a walk together more than once, dancing together twice at the same ball.

Courting to engagement was less than a year and a man could also be sued for breach of promise if he took too long to get to the alter. There are common law cases which confirm that a year was 'more than adequate' time for courtship, engagement and marriage in most circumstances, exceptions were made where the gent was in military service where he needed time to complete duty tours (ie engaged before we goes over seas- to be married when he got back) or one or other party was in mourning,

Fun fact
Only women could sue for breach of promise. A man could try but it was a high barrier to prove that the woman has only agreed to be engaged in order to spend your money and it was considered 'a woman's prerogative to change her mind' - but there were social implications. A man could be eligible for basically alimony to someone he broke his promise to, it was called 'heart balm'

I know what to have a crazy woman sue a guy for breach of promise and make a couple miserable

RE: Courting? - Christopher Moony - April 11, 2020

Ginevra Blackwood that's actually super interesting! #TheMoreYouKnow

I would say that, since on Charming we tend to accelerate things otherwise we would wait literal years for couples to get hitched, six months to a year and a half for courtship & engagement combined is totally reasonable? I like Soph's point about not wanting things too quick, but I definitely see us having a little more incentive to be quicker to the alter than the Victorians xD

RE: Courting? - Elladora Black - April 11, 2020

I LOVE the stuff about breach of promise Dante. It reminds me of Cranford and that always makes me happy xD

But yeah, I too would love a breach of promise plot. If it's between families with a high amount of players it could lead to a lot of IC skirmishes :P

RE: Courting? - Fortuna Bixby - April 11, 2020

So... Emma and I are wanting a dramatic thing that could definitely lead to a breach of promise..

Anybody with an UC lady that you'd like to use for it, get at me on Skype...