Miss Cecily Gallivan,

I am sorry for not contacting you before the press made the entirety of Saturday's ordeal known to the public, but I feel as though I must apologize for whacking you with axe.

It was never my intention to harm you (nor myself). I only hoped to knock down the door. I am not a mad-woman, nor prone to fits of violence under duress. I only thought I would prove helpful. Obviously I did not, and I apologize for the pain and trauma I may have caused.

(In all fairness, none of the injuries were real. I think.)

---