Your New Old Apartment - Printable Version
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Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - May 30, 2025
May 30th, 1895 — Thompsett Household
Am I young enough to just move on?
Lester had to wonder — had his mother dragged him to a stop at the Thompsett household because she was genuinely delivering baked goods to Mr. Thompsett, or had she dragged him to a stop at the Thompsett household because she wanted him to talk about Sloane's absence with one of his friends? He suspected it was a mix of the two, and likely would have put up a fight had he not genuinely wanted an opportunity to talk to Sisse.
They arrived during calling hours, a basket under Beatrice's arm. Beatrice talked Matthew (senior — Lester was privately a bit relieved that he hadn't seen junior today) through the contents of the basket, and eventually looked at Sisse and Lester. "Miss Sisse, will you take him for a turn around your gardens? With an O in Herbology he ought to take over planning mine," she said, and Lester was used to not arguing with his mother, and found himself in the small backyard of the Thompsett household.
"She's a menace," Lester said, without any real bite, "Did you enjoy the Coming Out Ball? Is your cousin settling in alright?"
They got to actually talk so infrequently that it was like he thirsted for conversation with her; the questions spilled out of his mouth rapidly. He hadn't gotten to see her at the Coming Out Ball, but that had not felt too bizarre — it was awfully crowded.
Sisse Thompsett
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - May 31, 2025
A call from the Hatchitts only two weeks earlier would have elicited a very different reaction from Sisse. Oh her stomach still leapt when Lester and his mother had been announced into the drawing room, but now it was layered with so many other emotions. She truly didn't wish to visit them on such a beautiful moment as this so she sat demurely as she watched Mrs. Hatchitt discussing baked goods with her father. She didn't try to slip away or engage in any additional conversation, indeed, she rather thought she was poised as she masked her feelings, trying to bury them down. She had felt she knew precisely what to do and now ... faced with Lester she truly wasn't sure.
What once would have been excitement turned to dread in her stomach at Mrs. Hatchitt's suggestion. But it had to be done. "Certainly Mrs. Hatchitt." Sisse gave her a charming smile and stood gracefully up from the couch. Her rose colored skirts swept around her as she led them outside to the privacy of their garden.
Her mother had loved roses and while the garden was small it was tastefully decorated in the fashion of a British rose garden. Sisse had tended to it since she had returned from school, caring for several new rose bushes near the arbor where her favorite bench sat. She led Lester toward her favorite corner now as he spoke to her, making sure not to speed down the stone path to the nook. It was out of site of the first floor windows of the house and indeed her room was the only one on the second floor that could see the beautiful tree with the bench leading to it and the rose cover arbor leading toward them. It was surrounded in the hedges that marked the border of their property and it was Sisse's most favorite part of the garden. With Mrs. Potts' and Calla's help she'd even begun to introduce other flowers along the paths by the bench as well. What had been a project from her mother had become something wholly her own in this shaded corner of the garden.
Lester's questions pulled Sisse's attention away as she walked with him, so many that she laughed, there was a nervous edge to it, but still there was something in his inquiry, the true earnestness in his questions - in his curiosity. It was a something that shifted the ground under her feet in an unsettling way that she truly ought not to look any deeper at. "Miss Chattaway has settled in well, I am nervous she doesn't like it here, but at least she and Matthew are not arguing." And her father had been around more frequently in an effort to help the young woman settle in as well which was a welcome surprise for Sisse.
"I enjoyed the ball." Truthfully she had not. She had tried to. She'd danced and laughed and done all the right things - for all the wrong reasons. And she'd completely avoided Lester, accepting every dance and never allowing herself to be caught alone by anyone. They were not quite far enough away from the house for such an admission, but looking at the earnest gaze of Lester's she found she didn't want to pretend with him. A sigh escaped her lips. "Truthfully? It was weird." She looked down at the path before them as she confessed. A blush crept onto her cheeks, "I felt as if I'd been passed over, as if I ought not to have been there." She should have been settled by now. She ought not to still be attending balls as a debutante but instead as a married woman. But she'd lost sight of that in the last year, holding on to hopes and dreams that were unrealistic and had only served her hurt her in the end. She had wasted her season and she was all too keenly aware of it.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - June 2, 2025
Not arguing with Matthew was a good sign — Sisse's older brother made Lester nervous, and he was sure that he wasn't the only one, given how Matthew sometimes looked at the eligible men who looked at Sisse at events. (Lester tried not to look any type of way at this men, but — he saw them.) But maybe Matthew would be less intense if he had another young lady to worry about, rather than just Sisse.
His train of thought was derailed by Sisse's assessment of the Coming Out Ball, and he pressed his lips together with sympathy. He hated seeing her look like that, with the blush on her cheeks and the way she was looking at the ground — she looked more than anything to be disappointed, and Lester had to resist an impulse to lay his hand supportively on her elbow.
"I know it would be hard for me to entirely understand, given that things are — different, for men," Lester said quietly. It was strange to be talking about Seasons with the girl you were secretly kissing, the girl you had a complicated bunch of feelings for, the girl you liked. But it was Sisse, who was his friend more than anything else, and he wanted to try. His tone was earnest as he added, "But I'm sorry you felt that way. I can — imagine how difficult it is, to be back like that, with the Seventh Years leaving."
His train of thought was derailed by Sisse's assessment of the Coming Out Ball, and he pressed his lips together with sympathy. He hated seeing her look like that, with the blush on her cheeks and the way she was looking at the ground — she looked more than anything to be disappointed, and Lester had to resist an impulse to lay his hand supportively on her elbow.
"I know it would be hard for me to entirely understand, given that things are — different, for men," Lester said quietly. It was strange to be talking about Seasons with the girl you were secretly kissing, the girl you had a complicated bunch of feelings for, the girl you liked. But it was Sisse, who was his friend more than anything else, and he wanted to try. His tone was earnest as he added, "But I'm sorry you felt that way. I can — imagine how difficult it is, to be back like that, with the Seventh Years leaving."
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - June 6, 2025
His words surprised her and her blue eyes glanced up to search his. There were so many truths bubbling behind her lips, so many ones she wanted to tell him, but her heart was too sore, her courage too faltering. So instead she found herself admitting her other truths, the one's she had barely even admitted to Sloane and the other girls. She had let them think she was just a bit more debutante obsessed than them, but it was more than that. "I was supposed to be a success - the success last season. And I failed." Her voice cracked. She looked away from him, her gaze landing on the arbor, they were only steps away from it now. "And what do I have to show for it?" Her hand spread out to gesture the futility of her season. "Nothing. No prospects, no marriage. Just a season where I'm nothing more than passed over goods." Her cheeks were warm and her eyes were watering from frustration but also from anger and pain. She couldn't look at Lester, couldn't admit that he was part of the reason - not all of it - but a large part of why she still had no proposals.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - June 9, 2025
It was hard to hear Sisse talk like that, like she was an irrevocable failure. Lester reached a hand out with the intention of touching her elbow, but thought better of it and let it fall away. Was she unmarried because of him?
"Sisse," he started, quietly — he had to say something, because she was looking so fragile, and he didn't know how to fix it. I'm sorry, someone will choose you, it's not the end?
Instead, what he said was, "I love you."
"Sisse," he started, quietly — he had to say something, because she was looking so fragile, and he didn't know how to fix it. I'm sorry, someone will choose you, it's not the end?
Instead, what he said was, "I love you."
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - June 9, 2025
It was only the sound of his voice that brought her gaze back to his face, he didnt look repulsed. But there was a furrow to his brow as if he were considering something.
And there it was. The irreversible something that should never have been uttered between them. Words were out of her mouth before she could even think of what he'd said. "You're can't." Hushed surprise layered the words between them and had she considered it she would have realized she hadn't guarded her face (or her emotions) well at all.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - June 10, 2025
The expression on her face looked more shocked than excited, which was unsurprising — Lester knew that this realization, that the feelings he felt for her were love, wasn't convenient. They'd never talked about an outcome like that; they had hardly talked about outcomes at all.
"Yeah," Lester said, "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," Lester said, "I'm sorry."
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - June 10, 2025
Growing up Sisse had always dreamed of a love match. Her parents had been one and the stories of love were always so beautiful. She had believed she would dare anything for love. As she'd grown older she'd envisioned balls in her first season where she would be swept off her feet by a handsome (appropriate) gentleman and whisked away to marry at the end of the summer. But those things hadn't happened. She'd thought she knew what love was, thought she'd felt it for Alvin. What she felt for Lester was different. It was heady, beating deep within her veins. It wasn't layered with sadness, but rather with years of friendship. She could admit she had been attracted to Alvin through her pain, but Lester? He was her friend. He was the one she had wanted to tell everything too, the one who scared her, but the one who was always there for her. He had taken her first kiss, taken her heart first. The realization ached in her chest, her heart thumping in her chest much too fast as she finally took in what he'd said - and as she felt it echo in herself. She loved him. The truth of it rung clearer to her than anything else, and looking at him she could see it echoed in his face - even as it clouded over.
She hated that look, hated the words that came next. Instead she reached out, her fingers grasping his. This wasn't supposed to be how it happened and she honestly didn't know what to do. Every move was the wrong one, every move hurt her, hurt him.
Gently Sisse tugged him under the bower, away from any prying eyes that might be lingering at windows. With the shade encompassing them Sisse stepped toward him, chest to chest, her skirts brushing into his legs, her eyes meeting his own. "I love you too Lester." The words felt like twisting vines climbing through her chest, aching, hurting, but promising beauty or pain. But... "What do we do?" Her voice broke as she searched his eyes.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - June 23, 2025
Away from the window, Lester placed his hands on her waist and considered, blinking rapidly at her. Whatever he said now would determine the course of the rest of their relationship — because she loved him, because he could not afford to marry her yet, because maybe they cared for each other too much for him to do anything impulsive in this moment, for all that their entire relationship had been impulsive so far.
"If you want me to marry you, I'll do that," Lester said, as if that was not a solution that would ruin them both. "If you want me to leave you alone I'll — I'll do that." His heart ached at the thought, but he would. "And I would — I'd carry on like this until you marry, too, if you want. But — anything we choose is going to be hard."
"If you want me to marry you, I'll do that," Lester said, as if that was not a solution that would ruin them both. "If you want me to leave you alone I'll — I'll do that." His heart ached at the thought, but he would. "And I would — I'd carry on like this until you marry, too, if you want. But — anything we choose is going to be hard."
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - June 23, 2025
His hands settled on her waist, their weight comforting and anchoring. It felt right. This moment, standing so close, breathing each other's breathes, eyes watching each other. She imagined his heart was beating as rapidly as her own.
He'd marry her? The idea had her heart leaping, her fingers tingling. She had never imagined he would ever suggest such a thing. It was a possibility they both knew didn't exist. And yet here he was setting it between them.
But he continued on giving her heart nary a moment to catch up. The thought of him leaving her alone, it tore at her, ripped through her as if it left her physically wounded. It reminded her of the Bixby garden. Of another heartbreak. It was what she had intended, but now, faced with the decision in the space between breathes, she did not believe she could survive it.
But continuing as they were... it was not an option either.
Sisse let herself lean into him, resting her head against his chest. "Lester," She murmured against his jacket, "My father would never say yes." No matter how desperately she'd wish it, no matter how much her father understood a love match, Lester could not afford a wife. He wasn't even a healer yet. It didn't matter how large her dowry, her father would not support the match. Her words left the silence ringing with his other spoken options, the ones she didn't even want to consider. But if they couldn't marry, couldn't be together, then what?
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - June 23, 2025
Her face was warm against his shirt. Lester closed his eyes for a beat, letting the weight of this settle in between them. She had no prospects, she wanted to be da success, and he had admitted his feelings for her — something that they never should have allowed to bloom. But it was so difficult to stay away from her, because he did love her, and because she'd been his friend for so long that it was nigh-impossible to imagine his life without snatches of time with her.
He swallowed, and opened his eyes. "No, he wouldn't," Lester said, voice quiet, "And you would never elope."
Sisse would never bring scandal on her family — and while Lester might, it still did not feel like a real option. No easy choices.
He swallowed, and opened his eyes. "No, he wouldn't," Lester said, voice quiet, "And you would never elope."
Sisse would never bring scandal on her family — and while Lester might, it still did not feel like a real option. No easy choices.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - June 23, 2025
He was right of course. She wouldn't. But the words still stabbed her deeply. She squeezed her eyes shut as if she could block out reality. "I wouldn't." She agreed, voice breaking.
Where did it leave them. "I can't lose you Lester." She pushed back to look up at him. His face was blurry before her, unshed tears shielding her view from the pain on his face. It was the truth. She'd lost too much already. She'd given up too much. Cam, Ned, her mother, Sloane, Alvin, even her dreams. She couldn't lose Lester too.
And where did that leave them? A tear escaped and coursed down her cheek, "But we can't keep doing this either." She had to say it but it was so hard to look at him as she did. Her eyes closed as she spoke the words only opening them after the truth was between them. She brushed the tear away angrily with her gloved hand, she hated that she was so weak. Hated what life had dealt them. Hated that she was crying over this in front of Lester. She was supposed to be strong. And yet here she was. Crying in front of him... again. It reminded her of the grief that had torn them apart and brought them back together again. It was a baring of her soul that no other person would ever understand except Lester.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - June 23, 2025
No, she wouldn't elope. Lester's throat got thick with emotion. He reached to brush her cheek where the tear had been, gentle, with his thumb. "Then we'll just be friends," he tried, as if the thought didn't bring enough grief with it. "And when you marry, when you get your — happy ending, I'll be happy for you."
He wanted to kiss her, again, if this was the last time. But he needed them to decide that it really was the last time before he did that.
He wanted to kiss her, again, if this was the last time. But he needed them to decide that it really was the last time before he did that.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - June 23, 2025
Sisse's gloved fingers captured his own, holding it against her cheek as her eyes closed from the pain of the moment. It had been painful with Alvin but this was excruciating, as if her own soul were being torn asunder.
She had thought she'd known heartbreak before, but compared to the rending of her heart the moment of his words, the pain she could see they caused him, it was nothing to what she had felt before. Involuntarily her fingers tightened on his, clinging to him as if she could force the words to go away. "No." She gasped in horror, shaking her head vehemently. "No. I can't -" She couldn't even force the rest of the words out, couldn't even form them beyond her objection. Panic and pain made all other words disappear into the vast swirling emotions rippling through her soul.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Lester Hatchitt - June 23, 2025
What he ought to do is tell her that she must, but she wasn't making proper sentences and she had his hand pressed to her cheek and he could barely keep his own emotions at bay. "Sisse," Lester managed, her name sounding strangled in his resistant mouth. He knew what the gentlemanly thing to do was, but when had he ever done the gentlemanly thing when she was concerned?
Unable to manage the gentlemanly words, or really any words, he leaned in to press a fervent kiss to her mouth, desperate, like it was the last time.
Unable to manage the gentlemanly words, or really any words, he leaned in to press a fervent kiss to her mouth, desperate, like it was the last time.
RE: Your New Old Apartment - Sisse Thompsett - June 23, 2025
He sounded as anguished as she was, his hand still warm on her cheek. And then his lips were on hers and her mouth was answering his with the same fervor. Her hand dropped his and cradled the back of his head, the other pressed against his chest where she could feel the thumbing of their hearts - twins in their heartbreak and desperation. She pulled him tighter to him, trying to make him understand through their kiss alone. The salt of her tears flavoring this kiss, making it so different from all the ones before. A kiss she knew would always haunt her.