Oh how I wish I knew, Luce, I really do. It's not for lack of trying, but Merlin it's been two years! What if there's something wrong with me? Mother had six children no problems, why am I not so fortunate? Even Philip has mentioned it a time or two and I honestly don't know what to tell him. What if we never have children? I can't imagine what I'll do!
I apologize, I know you probably sent that in jest and I don't meant to spout worry all over you, but it's been at the forefront of my mind for a long time.
I've considered going to a healer, but is there anything they could even do? I feel like maybe a midwife would be a place to start, but I honestly don't even know what to say! There has to be something wrong. I know it's terrible to assume the worst, but what else could possibly be preventing me from getting pregnant? I'm terrified that I won't be able to have children, that I may be barren. It's heartbreaking to even think about.
You're right of course. How do I go about finding a reliable midwife? Do you recommend yours? This is so incredibly frustrating and disheartening. I'm not sure knowing where the problem lies will help if there's not way to fix it, but I suppose it would be a difficult discussion to have with Philip. I couldn't hold onto him knowing how badly he wants children and me unable to give him any...
Do you think the hospital would be able to do anything? I feel like this is far more appropriate for a midwife? I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go, they may be able to at least point me in the right direction or suggest a midwife I could reach out to. I would greatly appreciate your support in any case. Thank you for being there for me.