Probably Not the Inquiry You Were Expecting

Probably Not the Inquiry You Were Expecting - Printable Version

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Probably Not the Inquiry You Were Expecting - Xavier Davies - September 10, 2023

Dear "Seeking Noble Quester",
(via Witch Weekly Lonely Hearts)

I'm responding to your advertisement because some of your phrasing oddities caught my eye. It rather sounds as though you intend to catch a potential husband and preserve him in some sort of eternal stasis, like an entomologist pinning a butterfly. If that's the case, I'm rather curious about your intended method of trapping him. If it was just some sort of poetic metaphor that went over my head and you didn't mean "eternal Prince Charming" literally, then please feel free to ignore my letter.

X

Witch Weekly Elias Grimstone

RE: Probably Not the Inquiry You Were Expecting - Witch Weekly - September 11, 2023

Miss Zinnia Potts,
Witch Weekly is pleased to inform you that your recent submission to our Lonely Hearts article has generated a response. Witch Weekly is devoted to providing help to all of our readers, no matter what their social disadvantages, and we are delighted to provide this service to the lovelorn in our magical community. We hope that you will be able to create a happy ending with our help, instead of being doomed to a tragically lonely life.

Please see the enclosed letter and advise us whether you will need your advertisement repeated in further issues of our magazine.
Y. Ventus
Editor in Chief
Witch Weekly

@"Zinnia Potts"