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Issue #178 - Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven? - Printable Version

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Issue #178 - Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven? - Witch Weekly - May 6, 2018



RE: Issue #178 - Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven? - Witch Weekly - May 6, 2018

How to Prepare the Night Before a Big Ball
With the new season fast approaching, many women will be looking for tricks to catch the eye of that specific gentlemen they’ve had their eye on. We at Witch Weekly want to give you the best chance of doing so and have formed a beauty routine for you to use before that next big event!
  • The night before your even, we recommend – if not already in daily use – a bath with added radium. Using this on top of usage of ammonia can offer you a look that desirable pale look.

  • Leave a coat of mercury on your eyelashes overnight as you sleep. This will help to lengthen them, drawing attention to your eyes.

  • Sleep with strips of raw beef across your face as a mask. This will make your skin glowy and brilliant and has the added bonus of keeping wrinkles away. Raw animal fat works as well - veal or mutton work the best!

  • From the hairs that have come loose in your brushes into extensions so you can create more elaborate hairstyles that are bound to draw you just the right attention!

  • Wash your face with lemon juice or carbolic acid the night before to remove or lighten freckles to create a more even completion.

  • A wash of the hair the night before using Castile Soap will leave your hair far easier to manipulate – and adding a few drops of ammonia to the scalp


RE: Issue #178 - Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven? - Witch Weekly - May 6, 2018

Should I Wear That Dress?
The age old problem of deciding what to wear has never been solved so easily! If you have no one to seek a second opinion from - or perhaps they lack the critical eye you require - our useful little quiz will help you decide if the dress you are dithering over is the one to wear. Your fashion choices will never embarrass you again!


RE: Issue #178 - Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven? - Witch Weekly - May 6, 2018

As the month of May begins, sources have confirmed that Mr. Lorcan Byrne has officially wedded Miss Magdalena Backus! Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven?
On the 3rd of May, it became apparent to those in magical London that Miss Magdalena Backus is Miss Backus no more — she donned new clothes in her her bakery, both under a new name: Mrs. Magdalena Byrne.

Rumors have been circulating for months about the supposed relationship between Mr. Lorcan Byrne and Miss Magdalena Backus, who up until now was working as the front room clerk at her family’s bakery. Mr. Lorcan Byrne was often seen visiting the bakery, and on one occasion was even rumored to have proposed to the young blonde!

The rumors, while shocking to those who heard them, seemed to subside as time went on, as Mr. Lorcan Byrne, cousin of infamous auror Maeve Connolly, has long been known as a notoriously flirt! Even then, how could one expect a man as shameless as him — one who enjoys giving out unwarranted attention to impressionable young women! — to settle down?

Well, we at Witch Weekly believe the pastries as the new Mrs. Byrne’s bakery are not the only buns in the oven! Anonymous sources have told us Mr. Byrne and Miss Backus have had an particularly tumultuous relationship since last year. Mr. Bryne, who proclaimed his affection for the baker’s daughter, had apparently continued to shower other women with compliments. Miss Backus, a prideful and easily-jealous young woman, was not having any of it, and began plotting measures to ensure Mr. Bryne was incapable of leaving her!

It was then that a series of meetings were planned, and one of the more recent ones resulted in an unfortunate situation for Mr. Byrne, who found himself to be an expectant father! While most certainly a reckless and irresponsible gentleman, sources say he would not abandon Miss Backus in her time of great need, and agreed to tie the knot to ensure their child would have two parents! The bakery, while a dream of Miss Backus’, was now planned to be more than just that: it was also meant to be a subtle announcement that the newlyweds were expecting!

Though now officially married, one can only wonder what might happen to the new Mrs. Byrne’s reputation when it becomes clear that these rumors were not just rumored! Sources have also claimed that the family is angered by the arrangement, going as far to claim that Mr. Bryne’s cousins were planning to orchestrate a boycott of the bakery to show their disdain!


RE: Issue #178 - Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven? - Witch Weekly - May 6, 2018

Discover Your May Horoscope!
Capricorn This is your moment to shine! A giant jewel-encrusted tortoise would be the living centerpiece to make that Taurus of yours really pay you mind.
Aquarius Sunshine and spring make your heart soar! Yellow is your lucky color this month - wear it and good fortune will certainly find you.
Pisces Your creativity make you the perfect person to start that new endeavour you’ve been thinking of. It will be well received, but don’t let yourself lose touch with reality!
Aries Secret words fly on trusted wings! You will be sending much correspondence this month - best invest in another owl.
Taurus Others are jealous of your veracity in life. Stay true to your course this month and do not allow yourself to be swayed.
Gemini Although you may feel like you have everything you want right now, there still feels like something is missing. This is the time for new beginnings - add someone new to your life to feel complete.
Cancer Your strong mind and intuition can often leave you feeling lonely and friendless. Make yourself more approachable by finding a friendly canine companion! They cannot talk back and are of loving dispositions, no matter your flaws.
Leo Passionate and sincere, it is easy for you to make friends. You can come across as strong-willed and and inflexible. Keep an open mind or trouble will befall you.
Virgo You can have beautiful things to say but also are practical. Try not to let your analytical mind ruin friendships, your Aquarius does not want to know that yellow is not their color.
Libra Your social needs will lead you into troubling waters. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Best to stay inside and keep to yourself - perhaps adopt a cat for some company.
Scorpio You understand what you need to reach true happiness and it lies in material gain. Be sure to set your pride aside and listen fully to what the universe is telling you.
Saggitarius Energetic and idealistic, you will see good fortune this month by way of material items. Nifflers are perfect pairings and will help you meet your goals.
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RE: Issue #178 - Byrne Weds Backus: A New Type of Bun In The Oven? - Witch Weekly - May 6, 2018