Calla had never done all that well in school though unlike others, it wasn't so much a lack of ability but more a lack of interest outside her niche. And as much as she was dreading the upcoming exam season for that reason, she was also admittedly looking forwards to the release of next year and getting to choose her classes. No more late nights at the Astronomy tower creating yet another star map or gosh darn History of Magic essay. But then that joy was tainted as she remembered that the upcoming summer would not only see the parting of her with her least favorite classes but also with Alice.

Alice.

She hated the tight line the pair had walked throughout the past few months. She had the gap that had seemingly started to grow out of her knowledge and her own refusal to accept what Alice had decided. And she was sure the others had noticed the tension between the two girls as well. The strain in Alice's words when she'd invited Calla to join her was so think and tangible that Calla was convinced she could just pluck it she reached out. But reaching out would require acknowledging the tension and so far neither girl had actually verbally done so.

"We had a potions essay?" This happened far more often now than she'd like to admit when professors only said the assignment rather than having written the details out on the board. Paying attention had become so much harder when she sometimes missed things - and goodness forbid the professor had a habit of mumbling. If she'd thought the professor had finished and started to pack up or strike up a conversation, any last-minute assignment was easily missed. Thankfully, sharing her classes with all but a handful of her friends kept her from actually missing to many things, but there had sometimes been missed assignments. "On what? When is it due?"

She took the seat beside her friend, lowering herself slowly - a deep part of her slightly afraid Alice would change her mind and withdraw the invitation. "Thanks," she breathed, pulling out her own parchment as she leaned over to read the notebook Alice had offered. She felt the scrambling need to defend herself as she could only imagine what Alice thought. Maybe Calla took her education for granted and didn't care as much as Alice did, but now, knowing what she did, she'd never in a million years do anything that would that she felt was rubbing it into her friend's face.

As she spoke next, she scribbled a brief summary of what the Gryffindor had written onto her own paper, "I've been having troubles in class lately," the girl admitted with a sort of shrug like movement, "when the professors announce assignments at the end of class once everyone's started talking. It makes it really hard to hear and if they don't write it down on the board I sometimes miss it."

Her hearing loss - while not something she liked to talk about very much - wasn't technically a secret amongst her friends. Especially when she'd come back from the hospital, the adjustment hadn't been something she'd been able to hide well, not when she was asking everyone to repeat themselves whenever they spoke on her bad side or to quietly.

"I completely missed an assignment in Earth Magic the other day. That was embarrassing when everyone else went to turn theirs in and I was just left sitting there."

She hadn't said what she said to give Alice a guilt trip. She'd just wanted her friend not to think she didn't care about what Alice had struggled so hard to keep. But now she felt bad bringing it up when Alice was starting to resemble Ethel when Calla would accidentally step on her. "I'm getting used to it." Calla offered, hoping to smooth over the bridge.

And she was. It had been about three months since the explosion and she seemed to have settled into a new sort of normal. She was by no means completely used to it, but the ringing had stopped and last time she'd popped into the hospital ward Aunty Ruth had seemed to think it was stabilizing to the point where she'd pretty much expect it to remain now. And she was learning tricks to get around the loss. She had to pay more attention in class, she'd pushed to the front of the seats their friends had claimed in each class, and she shifted where she sat or stood around others to put them on her good side.

"And it isn't as if I talk about it much. I really don't like the attention. Besides, as you said, you or Sisse are in pretty much all of my classes. If someone else is working on something I didn't know about it is safe to assume I have to do it as well. And Sisse's been letting me copy some of her notes when I miss things when Cameron is talking too loud."

Still, she gave Alice an awkward smile, taking up the offered notebook to compare to her own (far less neat organized) one. She had most of them but copied down the few she had missed before pushing the notebook back. "Thanks, that helps a lot. Really."

"Your handwriting may not be as pretty but you write a lot more details. She's good at summarizing but if you miss the main thing, some of the details get loss. Both are helpful so thanks." She was tempted to throw in a comment about she might not share all her classes with Sisse last year so she could use Alice's notes but they were having a nice conversation for the first time in months and she didn't want to ruin it, not yet.

"It is because I was so close to the source of the blast. They don't really know. At first it was just a general some may return over time but they weren't sure how much or if I might get all of it back. But some did. At this point though, it has sort of stabilized so they think that it is a good indication that this might be where it ends up though they didn't tell me they can't guarantee anything. But I guess I'm fine with it. Not really anything I can do about it. At least the guy got arrested."

"I can't really ask for too much more," she stated, her tone a little bit stiff. She wasn't upset with what Alice has said - after all, her friend was just trying to be nice but she'd gone over this whole circle of logic with herself so many times. When she sat up in bed at night with her curtains drawn shut. The stark silence where she'd once been able to hear Beth snore made her starkly aware of it. When she was in class and missed an assignment. When everyone at a meal laughed and she had no clue what was so funny because it was so loud in the room and she'd missed it.

So in typical Calla-coping-mechanisms, she shoved down the resentment that built in her in those moments about why that man had chosen their shop to blow up? About why it had to be that weekend on the one day she was there not in the castle? And the one she really hated, the one she'd never, never admit even if someone threatened to put her through the whole thing again - why had it been her who suffered the most long term damage when it had been Dahlia he was rejected by?

She hadn't been lying when she said she'd been getting used to it. But she'd learned really quick that physically used to it and mentally used to it was two very different things.

"Maybe it will," she admitted after a moment of silence where she'd brewed in her own thoughts, forcing a bright smile on she'd worn a bit too much over the past few years that was worn more to comfort the viewer than herself. It only lasted a second though as she caught Alice's eyes and broke both the smile and the contact. "But I don't really want to get my hopes up in case it doesn't."

She snorted loudly, flinching under the glare of the librarian. "Can we really say they'll be quiet when I'm going to be sharing some of them with Cameron again?" Don't get her wrong, she missed her friend but by golly, it was so much easier to concentrate in class when Cameron Gillenwater wasn't sitting next to you talking your ears off. Though admittedly that just meant she talked instead to Sloane, Alice, or Sisse. Even if the last two often just told her to shut up.

Calla sighed aloud, throwing her quill on the table - and splattering ink on her parchment as well, but that didn't bother her, she'd clean it up later if she ever got around to it - and dropped her head in her hands as she peered at Alice. It felt wrong to talk about next year when Calla still hadn't found a way to be assured Alice would still be here next year. And she really freaking hated the whole thing. Why was Alice in this situation? If it was an option if she thought Alice would say yes, Calla thought she'd give up her own spot here next year in a heartbeat if Alice would take Calla's tuition money and use it for herself. How was it far that someone like Calla, who was only here next year to be with her friends allowed to stay when Alice, who actually wanted to be here for the education, didn't?

Calla could leave right now, even without her O.W.L.s, and she would be set. There would always be a place at the shop for her regardless of her grades. She'd grown up in the shop. She wouldn't have even needed a year at Hogwarts. But she was ninety-nine percent sure that if she offered Alice her tuition money for the next two years, Alice would never speak to her again, and that seemed worse than not having her here next year. Maybe that was selfish of Calla, that she valued her friendship with Alice over her friend achieving her dream No, it was selfish, there was no question about it. She felt a sharp pain at the realization of just how horrible of a friend she was. How could she ever think that about Alice?

"I think we need a break," Calla chirped, disregarding that the whole time she'd been there, all she'd done was copy assignments from Alice's notebook. Besides, it wasn't really her she thought needed a break, but Alice. Who knew how long she'd already been here before Calla came up. "And I smelled the elves baking cookies earlier on my way here. They'll slip you some before dinner if you ask nicely."

She blinked slowly, her expression shifting from cheer to an unfiltered look of concern. She was sure Alice had been her some time already and who knows how much later she intended to stick around. "Alice, I know this means a lot to you, and I know you want to do everything you can, but," Calla leaned forwards, reaching a hand out to hover over Alice's, the proximity giving her a tingley feeling across her skin. "you have to take a break every once in a while. I don't want you to push yourself to hard you crash and burn. I worry about you, is all. It will just be to the kitchen and back and then I can look over your essay if you want? Or just keep you company?"

The Hufflepuff snapped back, too startled to even attempt to hide the surprise and hurt that bloomed across her face. She bit her lip, using the physical pain to keep the tears she felt trying to well as she gathered her belongings, shoving them haphazardly in her bag. "You know what, Alice?" Calla shot, as she turned to leave, "I'm tired of this. If you want to make yourself miserable and not accept help from your so-called friends, well so be it! Maybe I don't understand but I've tried and god forbid you stop and think that maybe your friends push you because they care. Maybe you want to keep that in mind before you lose them all. I'm done with caring when all you ever do is lash out and hurt anyone that does."

The brunette slung her bag over her shoulder, teeth-gritting. "I'll be in the greenhouse. Don't follow me. I don't know why I kid myself, not that you would ever look up from your work." The rest was left unspoken as Calla left, ignoring the glare from the librarian for her volume. Not that you'd care enough to follow.