Killing Me Slowly - Printable Version
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+- Charming (https://charmingrp.com)
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+---- Thread: Killing Me Slowly (/showthread.php?tid=5197)
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - March 27, 2020
The world stopped in the seconds that followed. The air ran dry as her hands came to rest on his chest. Percy finally knew after a lifetime of silence and pain of her love, and he hadn't run. He hadn't even pushed her away. And, perhaps it was unfair of her. Perhaps she was about to set fire to whatever future he saw for himself, but Maggie couldn't care. Not now. Not after nearly twenty years of wanting.
His gaze dropping to her lips was the last sign she needed. Maggie took one final step towards him, their chests inches away from touching, and pressed her lips to his.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - March 27, 2020
The past and future be damned, there had never been anything that Percy had wanted more then Maggie's lips on his, to hold her close and show her her his love. As her lips met his, answering his silent question, Percy pulled her the last few inches into him, wrapping his arm around her, holding her as steady as he could with a cane in the other hand. He met her lips with a greedy desire, deepening the kiss. There was only Maggie in that moment, nothing else. No future. No past. No ghosts or shadows. Only Maggie.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - March 27, 2020
Kissing him was something out of her dreams. Maggie gripped the lapels of his jacket, holding him tightly to her as though afraid the fantasy might end. She moved her lips against his fervently — desperately. The only souls in the universe were them.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - March 27, 2020
There was no hesitation in her kiss, nothing holding her back. Percy poured his heartbreak of twenty years into their embrace, pushing her back into the counter, letting his cane drop useless to the floor. It was only them. Their souls bared to each other for the first time. Repercussions be damned.
----
The fire danced in front of them, the only light left in the dim kitchen. A blanket, some part of Maggie's life that she had summoned to cushion them on the floor, laid out under them, his suit balled under their heads to pillow them. Maggie's head nestled on his chest, Percy's fingers absent mindly traced swirls on Maggie's arm, Percy found himself lost in thoughts of what had just happened. Feeling a tenderness toward her, he leaned over and kissed the top of her head. Rather unsure what to say, he didn't want to break the spell that seemed to encase them, the one where they had decided to act rather than to talk, rather than to dwell on what had happened or what might happen.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - March 27, 2020
Remaining in the kitchen was a decision Maggie now regretted. Percy meant more to her than some aggressive screw on her kitchen floor. The few comforts they thought to arrange were going to have to be sufficient, though, for Maggie sincerely doubted there would be an immediate repeat. They were going to have to have a conversation about what this all meant and where they now stood.
But, Maggie wasn't willing to disrupt the silence with awkward questions before either of them had the chance to process. Instead, Maggie remained still against him, her arm draped losely across his chest. Soon — sooner than she'd like — they were going to have to stand and dress or risk being diiscovered by Victoria.
She allowed the silence to linger a short while. Occasionally, her hands would tighten around him or she would shift further against him. However, the silence could only last so long. Eventually someone (Maggie) had to break it. "Are you alright? I didn't think about your leg..." She quietly asked as she moved to look up at him.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - March 27, 2020
At the sound of her voice Percy stilled, worried that they would break this tentative peace they had found. But her words had nothing to do with that at all. Of all the things for her to be concerned about it was his leg? Percy’s eyebrows rose slightly and he chuckled very softly. “I think I’ll survive.” He teased, meeting her gaze and running a hand through her hair.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - March 28, 2020
His teasing helped soothe the stress of what was to come. This obviously meant something, but what that was Maggie wasn't sure either of them knew. She still had two years of mourning to navigate through, during which Percy would still be alone. How ironic, she realized, that it was now he would have to wait the same length of time she had for him. Except, Maggie knew she couldn't ask that of him. Not even as they lay entwined on her kitchen floor. Not even if being in his arms was the first thing that felt right in over a decade.
She smiled back at him, though likely not as brightly as she had during their tryst. Maggie still didn't know the extent of his injury and wasn't about to push him on it. If he said it was alright, then it was. Besides, they had more pressing matters to think of. "Okay." She agreed softly, entirely uncertain of how to bring about the words they needed to say.
"We should ... we should probably talk about this ..." Maggie nervously said, her hands tightening around his waist unconsciously.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - March 31, 2020
In the moment that spread before them it was easy to read Maggie's face. Her concern and her restrain. He found himself grateful she didn't push the issue though. Even over a year later the injury was still rather a sore point. But while she didn't push it, she did bring up the one other thing that Percy was reluctant to face.
What had just happened had been... unexpected, surprising, and all together something Percy wasn't ready to consider the consequences of. From the small pressure of her arm on his waist, he suspected she felt much the same. "We should."He agreed, hesitation clear in his tone. But he said nothing further, simply acknowledging this was a thing that couldn't go without speaking about, but neither did it need attention now. He was quite content to keep Maggie in his arms no questions asked or answered.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - April 1, 2020
In another life, they wouldn't have had to stress about talking. The fear of discovery wouldn't have stemmed from scandal but from awkward conversations with their children. The furious nature of their coupling would have given way to something gentler, more loving. Visions of the life she said no to all those years ago swirled through her thoughts. Lying nude on her kitchen floor wasn't supposed to be all they ever had.
But, it was.
Maggie knew what it was to wait in silence for two years. She knew firsthand the pain of hoping for a letter, a visit, a sign that never came. They loved one another, it was true, but when was love enough to sustain? If it had been enough following graduation then they wouldn't have separated for this long. They would've had a family — Percy would've had a family.
Percy was already garnering an unhealthy amount of attention in his unmarried state. Witch Weekly featured him in every issue in 1890 thus far it seemed. To wait another two years to wed and have a family of his own (a family Maggie wouldn't even be able to give if history were to be trusted) was tremendously unfair to him. He deserved happiness and love. Not the heaps of baggage and grief Maggie carried.
She leaned up and kissed him softly before settling back against him. Victoria was likely going to descend upon them sooner than later now that the hinkypunk was gone. They couldn't linger more than they already had. Still, Maggie had no idea what to say. Breaking her own heart again — and his wasn't a viable option. Her earlier words were still true: she couldn't live through losing him twice.
"I don't know where to start." She admitted with a heavy sigh.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - April 1, 2020
Maggie stirred and all Percy wanted to do was tighten his arms around her and hold her still against his chest, but he moved and was rewarded by the gentle press of her lips against his before she returned to his chest. Percy's arms tightened around her, as if that alone would solve all the problems of the world. But the sigh that escaped held the weight of the world as it crashed into his chest with her words.
He laced his fingers with her own and kissed her chuckles. "Try." He encouraged, giving her hand an encouraging squeeze. Whatever she said he could face, he'd dealt with more rejection in his life than he had thought possible. He could withstand walking away. Couldn't he?
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - April 1, 2020
Maggie sank into his embrace, wanting nothing other than to remain with him for the rest of their days. She loved him, possibly even more than her children. Which was why this parting was decidedly difficult. Their timing never quite lined up. Their love never quite sufficient.
"I love you." Maggie began quietly, her proclamation firm and unwavering. "And I meant it when I said I can't lose you again. Even now, all these years later, you're still my best friend. No one has ever measured up." She shifted out of his grasp, leaning up on her elbow to look at him. The next words to leave her were weaker, the pain of them obvious. "But, you can't wait for me to be out of mourning. Everyone is already speculating about why you're unwed. There's already horrible rumors circulating about you. Another two years would only ruin you..."
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - April 2, 2020
Those three quiet words lifted Percy's soul. They painted a beautiful picture of their future together. A small home full of love and happiness. Children, her's and their's, running through the house. Quiet evenings when the household had gone to sleep and Maggie remained up with him in the parlor passing the hours. Nights like this one, locked in a loving embrace.
Percy knew then that he couldn't go back, that walking away wasn't an option. Maggie's firm words, telling him she couldn't lose him. "You don't have to." He told her gently, his fingers tilting her chin up to look in his eyes, surprised at what he was willing to do again after thirteen years.
But then Maggie stirred from his grasp, her voice quiet and clearly upset. He stiffened at the words. They were the words he had been dreading, what he had hoped to steel his heart from. He shifted, echoing her movement, "I told you before, I don't care about that. I never have." The words from their earlier fight coming back to him as did part of the anger. She was making decisions for them both again, giving him no room to stay anything. "It's my life to ruin, Maggie. Not your's to decide what I do with it." He couldn't help but add, his voice tense.
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - April 13, 2020
Percy said so now, but what would he believe when the scandal eventually broke? Affairs were notoriously hard to keep quiet, and they were even more so when one participant was regularly spoke of in gossip rags. If even one of his housekeepers slipped his reputation would be smeared and hers destroyed. Maggie couldn't blame him for his naivety, as he had never been in the position where it mattered. But, he was the assistant head of his department now. And he could very well continue upwards however high he aimed. Minister of Magic even if he desired it. Maggie couldn't partake in something she knew would one day ruin him.
Besides, she also couldn't give him a family of his own if her history was telling. How many tiny, infantile lives were lost because of her failings? How many times had she gone to Edmund full of hope only to dash them soon after. Percy didn't know what he would be losing with her, and Maggie couldn't tell him. Not like this. Not without copious amounts of alcohol and probing.
Crafting some lie to separate them once more felt equally impossible. Maggie had spent more of her missing her best friend than she had spent with him. "It is your life and your mistakes." She agreed hesitantly. "But, you're giving up a life of happiness with a family to what? Wait two years just to court? You have to at least try to find happiness outside of me, Percy. You can't live like a ghost anymore, I won't let you."
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - April 13, 2020
It was painful for her to call them a mistake. For something that should have been as simple as two people in love to be considered a mistake and the word drove a knife into him because of the truth in them. He was not blind to what they'd face, nor was he blind to what he'd go through again. This had been a mistake. A mistake that Percy would make a million times over if only to see Maggie happy.
"I haven't been living like a ghost!" Percy was quick to object, even though she was right. He had been. But for the thirteen years he had been she hadn't seen him, hadn't known that had been his life and had no right to suggestion as much. He'd met ladies who would be perfectly suitable - Lissy threw them at him with startling regularity - but he had never grown attached. Until Miss Beauregard. Miss Beauregard had shown him that such a life could still be possible for him. It hadn't mattered though. He wasn't a good match, no lady would want him. Miss Beauregard hadn't, Maggie hadn't, who was to say Miss Jennings would? Or Miss Welsh? What was two years in the grand scheme of things? It'd make him no less lame, no more interesting. He'd still be Percy Adlard, the boy who was never good enough.
"Maggie," Percy started, taking her hands in his despite the deep frustration he felt rising again. "How can you ask me to walk away again when you said it would kill you?" His tone was soothing, complacent, appealing to her common sense. To throw his life away for her's? It was the only thing that made sense to him. "Two years isn't a very long time." He added, thirteen years had passed already. What was two more?
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Margaret Goyle - April 15, 2020
"I never said walk away." She replied quickly. Maggie would sooner ruin both their lives than lose him completely again. "I said you can't wait for me." There was a distinct difference between the two, one she thought was fairly obvious. Percy couldn't very well sit on the sidelines of every Society event from now until she could court again. (Not to mention that courting again seemed like a monstrous task.) He had to go and mingle and enjoy his life, and if he happened to meet someone else and they were available Maggie couldn't stop him.
She gripped his hand in hers as she struggled to phrase exactly what thoughts were going through her head. Telling him she hoped he found someone else after having just had sex with him on her kitchen floor didn't seem very productive. "We should be friends again first." Maggie began, silently hoping he would see reason and not storm out. "We'll write and visit when we can... we'll build our friendship back to what it was first." The thus far unacknowledged truth was Percy was unwilling to divulge much of his life to her anymore. How could he expect to wait for her if he's no longer trusted her?
The next bit would be harder for them both, but a necessity. "And you will continue doing whatever it is you've been doing all this time. If you meet someone —" her voice broke at the thought. Nevertheless, Maggie persisted. "If you meet someone else you will pursue it. You'll give it your all if for no other reason than I'm asking you to." Two years was an incredibly long time. There was no telling where either of them would be. Maggie inched closer to him, close enough to lean in and kiss if either so chose. "And if it's — if we're meant to be, then it will work itself out later."
RE: Killing Me Slowly - Percival Adlard - April 16, 2020
Percy's eyebrows rose slightly as she corrected him, he wanted to explain that he was referencing the beginning of their fight not just this moment when it seemed the world might align with them. But he refrained, always one to let someone else speak more than himself anyway.
Friends. The word fell hollow between them, after what had just transpired it seemed as if .... as if none of it had mattered. The emotions that had been thick, the obvious attraction she felt for him mixed with the thought that she loved him too. It was tough to reconcile that with only being friends. To open himself back up to Maggie? To give her the same opportunity to come into his life that he once had? Percy's frown deepened. It was the same carrot that had dangled between them after the Coming Out Ball and he remembered all too clearly how that had ended. But how did he express those feelings when they warred with his desire to take care of her?
"Maggie," He started, swallowing, "I don't know if I can do that." There was anguish in his tone as he reached up to cup her face. "I waited for you before and we saw how that ended..." He trailed off, pain clear on his face. He didn't know if he could do it again. but he couldn't get the words out, instead they hung unspoken between them. He'd wait two years, a decade, a lifetime, knowing she was at the end of the path for him, but he could not, would not suffer through the past thirteen years again to only see heartbreak again.