fatal trouble, it's getting blurry;; 너의 기억이 무너져내려 (무너져내려) - Printable Version
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+---- Thread: fatal trouble, it's getting blurry;; 너의 기억이 무너져내려 (무너져내려) (/showthread.php?tid=18003)
RE: fatal trouble, it's getting blurry;; 너의 기억이 무너져내려 (무너져내려) - Seojin Jeong - October 20, 2025
If Jin was surprised that Moon-ssi was still seated, he tried not to let it show. He wasn’t trying to run his friend out, but maybe it would be easier that way. There was no version of this discussion in which it was a good idea to tell him the truth. Jin knew that. He had been telling himself over and over to just swallow his feelings about stupid Dae Min-Jee and move on. But again, spirits, again— it always came down to what hurt Moon-ssi more? The secret Jin was keeping from him or the truth itself? This time, Jin wasn’t sure that the truth wasn’t worse than Moon-ssi being angry at him for secret keeping.
As he fired back, it took everything in Jin’s power to keep from snapping something nasty about gogwihan. (As if, of all people, he had any right. But Moon-ssi didn’t know that and he wasn’t stupid enough to open another can of worms and get told off for keeping more secrets.) So Jin let it go. But not before one truth slipped out, and he was almost sorry for it. Almost.
“I would rather you be angry at me for keeping secrets than know the truth and hate me for it,” he spat back. And it was as good as a nail in the coffin. Jin raised his chin defiantly, daring Moon-ssi to say something else. If he was going to go on about how keeping secrets would lead to the end of their friendship then fine. It looked like he was worried about protecting nothing in the first place. But somehow, Jin doubted it. “You have to get used to it, Moon-ssi. You’re never going to change who I am or how I feel about the truths I wish I could change.” And that was accurate across the board. More than just Dae Min-Jee, more than just how he felt about his Abeoji or his real vampire father. There would always be things Jin didn’t want to share either from fear, or shame, or guilt. It was part of his very psyche and to expect that to just vanish because they were friends was more delusional than his need to be anything.
As he fired back, it took everything in Jin’s power to keep from snapping something nasty about gogwihan. (As if, of all people, he had any right. But Moon-ssi didn’t know that and he wasn’t stupid enough to open another can of worms and get told off for keeping more secrets.) So Jin let it go. But not before one truth slipped out, and he was almost sorry for it. Almost.
“I would rather you be angry at me for keeping secrets than know the truth and hate me for it,” he spat back. And it was as good as a nail in the coffin. Jin raised his chin defiantly, daring Moon-ssi to say something else. If he was going to go on about how keeping secrets would lead to the end of their friendship then fine. It looked like he was worried about protecting nothing in the first place. But somehow, Jin doubted it. “You have to get used to it, Moon-ssi. You’re never going to change who I am or how I feel about the truths I wish I could change.” And that was accurate across the board. More than just Dae Min-Jee, more than just how he felt about his Abeoji or his real vampire father. There would always be things Jin didn’t want to share either from fear, or shame, or guilt. It was part of his very psyche and to expect that to just vanish because they were friends was more delusional than his need to be anything.
RE: fatal trouble, it's getting blurry;; 너의 기억이 무너져내려 (무너져내려) - Ahn-Bo Jeong - October 20, 2025
Ahn-Bo Jeong
Seojin-a had pushed too far this time. Ahn-Bo did shove away from the table then, not caring that his irritated movements had bumped it and caused the ink to wobble precariously. Ink stains were the least of Seojin-a's many, many, many issues. Including being completely fine with tricking someone into being friends with a version of himself that didn't exist. It was no wonder why he didn't have any other friends. The others had probably been clever enough to catch on far sooner than Ahn-Bo had. Before he stomped away, he had one last thing that had to be said. (Or shouted, technically.)
"Ne! I'll get used to it, just like you have to get used to Dae Min-Jee being around all the time because you're too much of a coward to admit you're jealous," he spun on his booted heel and stomped toward the door, fully intent on slamming it closed as hard as he could on his way out. If Jeong-ssi was perfectly happy this way, then so be it. And if he stayed any longer, he wouldn't want him to feel like he couldn't breathe. But then, he thought of something else to shout, so he tossed it callously over his shoulder, "I don't expect you to tell me everything, Jeong-ssi, but you should have known it wouldn't be the truth that would make me hate you. It's the lies."
"Ne! I'll get used to it, just like you have to get used to Dae Min-Jee being around all the time because you're too much of a coward to admit you're jealous," he spun on his booted heel and stomped toward the door, fully intent on slamming it closed as hard as he could on his way out. If Jeong-ssi was perfectly happy this way, then so be it. And if he stayed any longer, he wouldn't want him to feel like he couldn't breathe. But then, he thought of something else to shout, so he tossed it callously over his shoulder, "I don't expect you to tell me everything, Jeong-ssi, but you should have known it wouldn't be the truth that would make me hate you. It's the lies."
RE: fatal trouble, it's getting blurry;; 너의 기억이 무너져내려 (무너져내려) - Seojin Jeong - October 20, 2025
Jin flinched, visibly, both in the face of Moon-ssi’s anger and at his words. That wasn’t fair, and they both knew it, but there was nothing to be said to the contrary. Moon-ssi was right. Until this moment Jin hadn’t been able to put a word to the sentiment squirreling away in his brain, in his gut, in his side— keeping him from sleeping, eating, breathing. He was jealous, and the realization scrawled itself obviously all over his shocked face.
He was jealous of Dae Min-Jee.
Why? Because she was around too much? Because she infiltrated their little duo and made it a trio? Sure, maybe those things seemed reasonable, but Jin could feel deep in the base of his spine that it ran much deeper than that. He was jealous because she got to marry Moon-ssi and spend the rest of her life as his partner. The recognition of that sent his brain reeling and Jin could only frown as he tried, feebly, to defend himself against the thought. He didn’t want to be anyone’s wife. He didn’t want to be anyone’s anything! Couldn’t be, actually, since he was owned by his Abeoji. But anyway— even if he could— that was— he wasn’t— Ani!
Jin was about to call out to Moon-ssi to stop, that he was wrong (maybe) and they needed to talk about this, but the words caught in his throat the way they always did when it was important. Before he knew what was happening, his friend had stomped over the threshold and yelled back at him once again and this time the words snapped Jin’s mouth shut with an audible click.
He didn’t know if Moon-ssi meant that. He didn’t even know how they’d gotten here, really, or where to go next. But Jin did feel something shift between them in that moment that wouldn’t be righted again. Moon-ssi hated this part of him. For all his words and insistence that he accepted Jin— vampire fangs and all— he was a liar. He couldn’t accept Jin; not fully. Not the quiet, guilty parts of him that needed to retreat and be left alone. Maybe it was for the best that they break the delusion and codependency now. Abeoji was right. It wasn’t worth getting close to people when they would all leave in the end.
Jin closed his eyes and slammed his hands down on the table with a frustrated shout. The door to the hanok slammed shut from the force of his magic hurling it and tears accumulated in the corners of his eyes. He hated being reminded of Abeoji’s words when he’d left home for the last time. He hated even more when they were proven right, time and again. Jin hurled his Sigilcraft book to the side and let the ink splatter as he stood hastily from the table and made to curl up in the very back of the small room. He missed Eun-ho. And he certainly wasn’t going back for classes or for dinner or for bed, any time soon. Let them give him detention or expel him. He’d be better off for it.
He was jealous of Dae Min-Jee.
Why? Because she was around too much? Because she infiltrated their little duo and made it a trio? Sure, maybe those things seemed reasonable, but Jin could feel deep in the base of his spine that it ran much deeper than that. He was jealous because she got to marry Moon-ssi and spend the rest of her life as his partner. The recognition of that sent his brain reeling and Jin could only frown as he tried, feebly, to defend himself against the thought. He didn’t want to be anyone’s wife. He didn’t want to be anyone’s anything! Couldn’t be, actually, since he was owned by his Abeoji. But anyway— even if he could— that was— he wasn’t— Ani!
Jin was about to call out to Moon-ssi to stop, that he was wrong (maybe) and they needed to talk about this, but the words caught in his throat the way they always did when it was important. Before he knew what was happening, his friend had stomped over the threshold and yelled back at him once again and this time the words snapped Jin’s mouth shut with an audible click.
He didn’t know if Moon-ssi meant that. He didn’t even know how they’d gotten here, really, or where to go next. But Jin did feel something shift between them in that moment that wouldn’t be righted again. Moon-ssi hated this part of him. For all his words and insistence that he accepted Jin— vampire fangs and all— he was a liar. He couldn’t accept Jin; not fully. Not the quiet, guilty parts of him that needed to retreat and be left alone. Maybe it was for the best that they break the delusion and codependency now. Abeoji was right. It wasn’t worth getting close to people when they would all leave in the end.
Jin closed his eyes and slammed his hands down on the table with a frustrated shout. The door to the hanok slammed shut from the force of his magic hurling it and tears accumulated in the corners of his eyes. He hated being reminded of Abeoji’s words when he’d left home for the last time. He hated even more when they were proven right, time and again. Jin hurled his Sigilcraft book to the side and let the ink splatter as he stood hastily from the table and made to curl up in the very back of the small room. He missed Eun-ho. And he certainly wasn’t going back for classes or for dinner or for bed, any time soon. Let them give him detention or expel him. He’d be better off for it.