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The Original Fake News



3 year old Tabloid
Gossipmonger   ❤   Complicated
played by Yente Ventus
38 Posts


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Witch Weekly
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Played By: Yente Ventus

Contact: Whispers & Secrets

Plot Preferences: Salacious Scandal

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Registration Date: January 31, 2018

Date of Birth: November 1, 2014 (6 years old)

Local Time: March 4, 2021 at 3:25 AM

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Last online: February 28, 2021 – 5:18 AM
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Witch Weekly's Most Liked Post
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RE: Issue #250 - What Will 1891 Bring *You*? January 3, 2021 – 11:48 PM 5
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Issue #250 - What Will 1891 Bring *You*? IC - Extras
Witch Weekly
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What Will 1891 Bring You?
Your character's issue of Witch Weekly is charmed to provide a customized main article for each reader. Since we don't have magic, read the appropriate column in each area to construct your article one paragraph at a time Smile
You Are Unmarried and a...
Man

While you may feel you are at leisure in choosing a companion, we would urge you not to wait too long. 1891 looks to be quite a fortuitous year to marry, whereas 1892 marriages are destined to end in early death for at least one half of the couple and 1893 marriages are more prone than not to involve sickly children. The prospects for this upcoming season do look promising, though you may find you hae more competition than you anticipated in securing the affections of your bride of choice.

Debutante

This year will be filled with some of the highest highes and lowest lows of any year in your recent memory. You will have many important decisions to make, even though they may seem small in the moment; a smile in place of a frown or the choice to dance the quadrille or the waltz may have a monumental impact on your prospects.

Spinster

You have, by now, likely given up all hope of conventional happines and resigned yourself to a life of tending other's children and being called 'eccentric' as though it is a compliment. If you do not already regret your choices, you will soon, but recovering yourself at this stage would be rather an uphill battle. Instead, you may choose to join a book club or other interest group to provide some small solace in your otherwise lonely life. Cling to the friends you still have, as the older you get the harder it will be to keep them.

You Are Married With...
Grown Children

One of your children is headed towards a promising marriage, another a social catastrophe. Your careful hand will be necessary to avert disaster in one case, but be careful not to meddle too much for your child that is already trending towards happiness or you shall see them settled much less fortunately than they might otherwise be.

Young Children

Your children may pull your focus to them moreso this year than in previous years. While their troubles may seem inconsequential, remember that every conversation counts when molding them into the ladies and gentleman they will someday become. Cultivate friendships with others in your same general position whom you admire and can emulate. You should also take an interest in the social circles of your children, if you haven't already — a bad set of friends can ruin an otherwise perfect child.

No Children

Of course your goal during the coming year will be to begin filling up your household with little ones. Since there is little you can do to bring this forth (besides that thing we are sure you are already doing), you ought to focus your attentions on hobbies or friends. Lowering your stress level generally will help you conceive more quickly, and will create a healthier baby.

& Society Generally...
Likes You

Luckily, your charm and social graces will suit you well in the coming year. Follow your instincts and trust in advise from those closest to you, and you will find that 1891 brings you much joy.

Dislikes You

Of course, it won't be easy to recover the ground you've already lost. You'll need to put your nose to the grindstone; put aside all else and focus entirely on your goal. This is not the time for merriment, but for dedication. If you let 1891 pass you by as previous years have, you will find yourself miserable by this time next year.

Doesn't Know You Exist

Unfortunately, whether you succeed or not is mostly out of your hands at this point. You may proceed as you've always done and leave matters entirely to luck and chance, but if you are desirous of a good outcome you would do well to leverage your social circle. Make well-connected friends and doors will open for you.

Special Addendums
@Bellona Zabini

Given your "unique" circumstances it seems quite likely that you've set your sights on a pureblood, and do believe us when we say, darling, that if anyone could have done it, it might have been you, given your good breeding and the company you keep. However, it seems unlikely your pureblooded friends are going to pull through for you, and it may be time to readjust your standards. It would not do to miss an eligible gentleman now because you insisted on pursing the stars!

@Anthea Selwyn

If you want to continue living the lifestyle you are accustomed to, a career isn't the way to go about it. You are very quickly running out of time to secure a decent marriage. Perhaps one of your brothers might arrange something for you, to an older man — perhaps a widower?

@Roman Crouch

How on earth did your younger brother marry before you? Perhaps if you had been more amenable to settling down he might have followed your good example instead of bungling everything and ruining poor Miss Finch in the process!

@Rosie Binns

You've been seen at all the most popular parties for the past year, but if you truly aspire to be one of the inner circle of society you must move from guest to host. This will be challenging, certainly, but will benefit your daughters greatly when it is time for them to seek a husband of their own.

@Ambrosia Selwyn

While your own character is beyond reproach, your family's actions do cast a bit of a shadow on your reputation. You could certainly stand to be more in the spotlight — particularly as a hostess — in order to demonstrate your merit. When someone says "the Selwyns," you don't really want everyone's first thought to be Liliana, do you?

@Dorothy Finch

Recovering from your sister's scandal may prove too much for you; in your particular circumstances we might recommend either debuting abroad or entering into a betrothal before you've had a chance to seem flirtatious with the wrong sort of gentleman — otherwise your future husband will likely be worrying until your marrage day that you're on the verge of running off.

@Antigone Lestrange

Your social events are fondly remembered, but will not distact indefinitely from your lack of healthy children. Perhaps this is the year to try a fertility potion — see advertisement on pg. 16 for ideas!

@Madeleine Backus

But, while it is possible to find a marriage in society... well, in your case, might we suggest you would perhaps be happier opening up a bakery, like your sister?

@Liberty Gore

Your unique position means you could have your pick of the litter when it comes to men — and there are ways

@Liliana Selwyn

You clearly have strong ideas about your future; have you considered trying your luck abroad where no one would be aware of your background? Of course you couldn't help the circumstances of your birth, but it does affect the way people are bound to think of you...

@Xavier Mondragon

Your bad behavior would be more acceptable abroad; you should consider leaving for a while. Or forever.

@Helga Scamander

You are clearly a woman of high ambitions, and it was often said during the 1890 season that you could do much better for yourself than a Quidditcher — but do remember as you head into 1891 that you are not getting any younger. Each year lowers the ceiling on your prospects, and you could do much worse than a Quidditcher.

@Harper James

With the way things are looking, you almost certainly have a promotion in your future this year — which means it is past time to begin looking for a wife, Mr. James!

@Sherah Drago

It's not too late to abandon the internship, dear; if you make a proper debut this year, you may still stand some chance of being married before your womb shrivels up.

@Eloquence Higgs

In addition to your own prospects, you might be tempted to pay close attention to a handful of others — you would better not. No one likes a gossip, Miss Higgs.

@Begonia Belby

You ought to be realistic with yourself if you hope for a match; while your brother's misfortune may have been no fault of his own, those other rumors haven't disappeared, either...

@Calliope Zabini

Of course, children (step- or otherwise) are not the only ones your trying to look out for, are they? And we suspect Miss Loretta Brown may need your help more than any of the Zabinis or Rileys...

@Tanwen Selwyn

You may be past your prime, but a sizeable dowry may yet urge a man to take an interest... unfortunately, at this stage the best you can hope for is to marry a widower with a large brood of children. Perhaps the former Minister is in need of some money, if you don't mind werewolves.

@Arthur Pettigrew

One last thing — you really ought to consider retirement. Everyone knows it's inevitable, and it would certainly make your wife much happier to have you in a more stable profession with a steadier income!


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