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Issue #242 - A Lady's Guide to Socially Benefiting from Your Hogwarts House

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Fall Fashion Faux Pas
With the proper season now behind us, some may let their standards slacken with the idea that social events now somehow count for less in the grand scheme of things. Much to the contrary, fashion experts agree that fall fashion can be even more consequential, as each outfit you choose makes up a larger proportion of your image in general. Young ladies, particularly single ones, must make every event count. Follow our advice and avoid these fashion faux pas this season.

Almost No One Looks Good in Orange
Every autumn, ladies select fall colors for their dresses in a bid to seem festive, and at least one lady a season will try an orange dress. While orange is fine as an accent color, it takes a certain swarthy complexion to make it palatable in any significant amount, so most would do well to avoid it. We all remember, of course, how ghastly it looked when the new Mrs. Lestrange insisted on an orange dress last year!

False Modesty is Obvious
With the cooler weather, it can be tempting for young women to choose dresses with sleeves or a heavier cloak. This is perfectly appropriate. What is inappropriate is pairing covered arms and shoulders with an open neckline in order to put one's bosoms on full display. This tasteless modern trend must end; you are fooling no one with your false modesty, Miss Quinn!
Save your Charms for Dueling
Dresses that rely on magic to add a responsive flair such as changing colors or imitating falling leaves have become particularly fashionable lately, due to influences of Marcus Lytton's designers and socialites like Mrs. Ophelia Devine. While these can be done quite well, we recommend leaving such charmwork to the professionals. Many a girl has been subject to a poorly executed charm (even, on one memorable occasion, Mrs. Devine, who took a lengthy trip to the powder room after her color- changing dress accidentally left her with the appearance of a literal soggy bottom) and even when they work well, gentlemen are unlikely to be impressed by such antics. The only message it conveys is that the lady in question has too much time on her hands and no particularly useful hobbies on which to spend that time.

Unless you've Brought your Horse, Leave the Boots Behind
While this has not yet become fashionable, a group of young women at a hunting party last fall attempted to set a trend by incorporating elements of their riding habit, such as their boots, into their ballroom attire. It was, we suppose, meant to cast them in a charmingly rustic and athletic light, but it was far from charming. It implies a certain laziness and inattention to detail to reuse any piece of wardrobe for diverse events in a single day. Worse, it could carry the connotation that your wardrobe is incomplete, making you seem common and poor. Ladies, leave the riding gear (and, for that matter, the Quidditch gloves, the bicycling suit, the ice skates, and all other potential sports images omages) at home and wear your best to the ballroom.

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Are you a true friend?
1. Imagine for a moment that you are back in Hogwarts and are to be sorted. Your closest friend is sorted into a different house than you. How do you react?
A: You are utterly distraught and even try to demand that you be allowed to change houses.
B: You are pretty fine with it, really. You'll still be able to spend a fair amount of time together.
C: You are relieved. You will now be able to shine in the house without her hindering your path.

A group of friends embrace.

2. You find a horrible article written about one of your friends - what do you do?
A: You defend her fiercely, writing multiple letters to the publication.
B: You try and ensure that she doesn't see it but don't see what else there is that you could do.
C: You send her the clipping, highlighting your favorite parts.

3. You and your friend are being threatened by ruffians, how do you respond?
A: You do your best to protect your friend, willing to give your life for hers if need be.
B: You stick by your friends side and try to talk your way out of it.
C: You push her into them and run off to safety.

4.Your closest friend confides a scandalous secret to you - what do you do with the secret?
A: You take it with you to the grave.
B: You are too scandalized to repeat it to anyone but you cannot help but judge your friend.
C: You tell everyone you know.

5. Your friends beau makes an amorous advance towards you - do you tell her?
A: You slap him and tell him all about how you knew your friend was way too good for him and now she will be free of him.
B: You rebuff him and let her know what he did so she can make up her mind what to do.
C: You encourage it and steal him from her as you think you are the much better match.

Two friends discuss a Witch Weekly issue!

Mostly A's: Closer than close. You are an absolutely devoted friend. To the point that so long as you have your one bosom friend, you feel no need for such things as marriage. Indeed, you are the most likely to become the spinster aunt that chooses to reside with her closest friend.

Mostly B's. Fair friend. You can be a true friend - when it conveniences you. You would not take a death spell for your friend but you will bring them soup if they are ill. You maintain a balance between the people you call friends and while you do genuinely care for them, you maintain a slight distance.

Mostly C's. Friend or Foe? With a friend like you, who needs enemies? You are no true friend to anyone but yourself. You likely maintain the friendships you do have for status reasons and who could blame you? They still had better watch their back when you are around.

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A Lady's Guide to Socially Benefitting from Your Hogwarts House
To be sorted into one's Hogwarts house has always been met with several strong emotions. Excitement and anxiety among a few. But what can the average witch gain from their sorted house? Friendships with like-minded individuals is always beneficial, but perhaps the nurtured traits that one's house encourages can also bring benefits towards a successful social season! Ladies should take note of these useful skills that would work wonderfully towards the traits fostered in your Hogwarts house.You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal. Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil.

Loyalty is the most famed trait that Hufflepuffs possess, along with hard work. Many a man would benefit from having a wife who is loyal to her husband and family. Hard work for a socialite and mother can also be quite promising. Committing to being a trustworthy companion is essential for those who wish to be seen as worthy wives. Wife to our very own Minister of Magic, Mrs. Roslyn Ross is clearly a woman who should be noted as a trustworthy companion to the Minister of our magical community. Who better to look to for inspiration than the leading lady?

Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.
Known for their knowledge and creativity, a Ravenclaw could make a marvelous companion. Whether one is more inclined to throwing parties with a creative flare, or preferring a more quiet and knowledgeable wife to share evenings by the fire with a good cup of tea. Plenty of Ravenclaws could even manage taking part in both halves for daily living. But a Ravenclaw must always be careful as to not come off as smarter than her suitor, lest a lady may find herself labled a snob. One notable Ravenclaw is Miss Diana Fawley, successfully catching the heart of Mr. William Abbott. Counting down the days until the wedding, Witch Weekly once again sends our congratulations.
Their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.
While stereotypically known as a wild lot, Gryffindors have their own positive traits that would be beneficial in a social season. To be chivalrous on it's own is a trait that a good wife can strive for. Many a future socialite could aspire to creating magnificent charity events and organizations to help the less fortunate. Men looking for a wife who would have a talent in bringing a positive light to the family could trust a Gryffindor to do just that. Mrs. Ophelia Devine has shown such traits with her work in aiding Girls Labor & Employment Endowment. Keeping the more daring traits in check, and focusing on bettering one's family name and community, can lead to finding a suitable match promptly.

Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness.
Many give an unfair glance towards the house of Slytherin. While a cunning house, they do show their own way of loyalty to those they are fond of. Ambition certainly doesn't have to always be a bad thing, when kept in check. The Pendergast School for Young Roses is currently run by the revered socialite, Mrs. Evelyn Abercrombie. Her own determination to preserve her late mother's legacy is admirable, and she is certainly known for keeping a graceful and lady-like composure.

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Too many ladies today confuse a childish infatuation for long-lasting love that only comes after years of partnership. Do not make that mistake. Advice from Harmony Aidsworth
Dear Miss Aidsworth,

I am nearly one-and-twenty years old and still have yet to find a husband. I have had my fair share of suitors, and my mother says I ought to be married by now. Little does she know that I have received three proposals, all of which I've turned down for one sad, sorry reason: I am in love with a gentleman who is not yet in any position to support a family.

We became friends shortly after graduating, and I cannot help but replay scenes of our fictitious engagement and wedding in my head each night despite knowing that to accept an offer of marriage (assuming he ever intends to) would doom me to a lesser lifestyle. It is a worse heartbreak than unrequited love, because at least if I knew he did not feel the same I could make an effort to move on; but without knowing, and without being able to know how he feels without making a fool of myself, I fear I have set myself on a path to spinsterhood.

How do I move past an infatuation that so rules my life?

Lady Lovelorn

Dear Lady Lovelorn,

It has been said that passion is the death of marriage. It ebbs and flows as time passes, and it is a most unpredictable force. You cannot help your feelings, but you must understand that waiting for a man who may never notice you. Love is steady and should be earned, not freely given—and it seems he has done nothing to earn yours. An honorable gentleman would never think to pursue a friendship with an eligible debutante, especially when he is in no position to support a wife of his own. He should know in doing so he may not only confuse a lady, but also dissuade other gentleman from seeking her hand.

That being said, it is my best advice to cut him from your life entirely. Do not give him an explanation; doing so may only encourage irresponsible behavior on his end if he returns your feelings, or embarrassment on your end if he does not. He should understand a lady's priorities at your age and put your needs above his feelings. It is what a gentleman does.

It may hurt, as every heartache does, but there are plenty of kind, mature, and—most importantly—financially responsible gentleman who long for a wife with such a large heart. Take every potential suitor seriously, and do not compare him to your lost love.

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