Did you know?
The Language of the Flowers was a popular method to express feelings where words might be improper, but did you know other means of doing so? Some ladies used their parasols, as well as their fans, gloves, and hankies to flirt with a gentleman (or alternatively, tell them to shove it!). — Bree ( Submit your own)
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Questionable Friend/Crush for Philip Aymslowe.
When your mum thinks you're gay for your best friend (but you probably are)
This boy, then. He wasn't new. Wasn't one of the worst people in the common room, those rotten rich boys - like Mr. Jailkeeper - who could not fathom a world beyond their own farts. Was a good working class lad, so he'd heard. Had a bit of a weird looking face, and a bit of a weird thing for preaching. Still.Aubrey Davis in The Under-Sofa
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Post 3+ times in three or more class threads during the course of a school year. Must all be done with the same character, be they a professor, student, or school portrait or ghost!

#209 - Five Simple Ways To Avoid Becoming A Vampire

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New Year, New Beauty Regimen
With nearly a whole month gone by in the new year, it isn't too late to be rethinking your beauty regimen! We've compiled quite the list with tips and tricks for those lovely debutantes still needing to find the right match for a husband or for those already married and wanting to keep up on the trends and remain looking just as youthful as all the rest!
  1. Bathe often and in ammonia. A lady should bathe at least three times a week. If one cannot do so in a full bath, a sponge bath should do for at least one of said bathings. But, keep in mind, that ammonia does a far better job of cleansing the skin than regular soap. A capful per each bath should be plenty and should be used each time a lady bathes.

  2. Be sure to wash your eyes. To keep one's eyes sparkling, be sure to wash them during each of your three baths during the week at the very least. One can always do so every morning to ensure one always has sparkling eyes. A lady has many options at hand when it comes to washing one's eyes. A dash of soapsuds is ideal but if another method is preferred, a drop of perfume makes for a good substitute. A non eye drop version without burning (at least to one's eyes) would be to dash a half a dozen drops of whiskey and Eau de Cologne on a lump of sugar and eat it.

  3. But don't wash your hair, face, or hands. Though you may feel your hair is dirty, don't wash it during each bath. One washing a week should suffice. In the meantime, simply wipe the dust away with a towel otherwise one risks injuring their hair. Be sure to brush during any long breaks. Thirty minutes a sitting should suffice. When it comes to ones face, don't wash it at all. Simply rub a glycerin ointment into ones' skin and then dry with a cotton flannel and voila, a clean and rosy looking face! And when it comes to the hands, be sure to wear gloves while one bathes. Hands over exposed to water (more than once a month), are bound to get rough and the potential for added wrinkles increase. A similar regimen as to keeping a face looking clean can be followed, glycerin ointment and cotton flannel!

  4. Vapor bathing!. In addition to a lady's three baths a week, at least one vapor bath is needed. A lady should choose a window, one preferably to not be seen by passerbys, and lounge entirely in the nude and soak up the warmth of the sun outside of the window. One hour is the minimum for a vapor bath. If a lady is a particularly restless sort, dancing within the rays coming from the window is acceptable.

  5. Line your eyes and trim your lashes. Lining your eyelids is no longer a thing for women of the night! A line eyelid makes for a most handsome women and helps to further brighten eyes, especially if one is diligent with their soapsud eye drops. Two drachms of nitric oxid of mercury mixed with one of leaf lard makes for the ideal liner though if such items are inaccessible, a hairpin steeped in lampblack should do the trick. And for one's lashes, trimming them every other day is a must so that they do not grow unruly over time. Using a pair of small, sharp scissors will work and should be trimmed to a shorter length to ensure they remain pristine in appearance.

  6. Plump up those lips. Lips are one of the first attributes many men notice and so women should be thinking of them starting at a young age. If a lady has thinner lips, she should begin using suction on them. The suction will draw the blood to the surface and make them more plump. But don't fret, over time as long as a lady is diligent in continuing to use suction, the results will eventually become permanent!

  7. Most importantly, keep it all a secret! Some gentlemen may not be quite so keen on some of these practices should they find out exactly what they entail. As such, it is best to keep them a secret otherwise one may find themselves single as a result. Once your gentleman has fallen hopelessly in love with your beauty, however, be sure to continue with your regimen so he'll never be any wiser!

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The Animated Feather Duster is available through mail order and comes in a variety of colors, including black, grey, white, and 'multicolored bouquet,' which is made from the feathers of exotic birds.

Bottled Phoenix Products are available in select stores.

Make Your Housekeeper Redundant with these Five Amazing Products
Is your household budget getting a bit tight, paying for your weekly housekeeper in addition to a cook or nanny? Or would you simply like to replace your human staff member due to a clash of personality? With these magical cleaning products, you may never need to delegate housework again!

1. The Animated Feather Duster
This feather duster will dust any room from top to bottom, without any need for human oversight or intervention. Available from Ronda Rite's Cleaning Co, this duster is not recommended for use in rooms with an excess of fragile or breakable items, as it can be over-exuberant at times. It has also sent at least one toddler to the hospital after malfunctioning and repeatedly bashing the child over the head, but the manufacturers assure us that this particular bug has been eliminated from the current design.

2. Ever-Shine Furniture Polish
This furniture polish, after being applied once to any wood surface, will give it a shine that will never fade and eliminate the need for tedious polishing after every dinner party. Test it on an inconspicuous surface before applying, as there are some reports that it can make surfaces too slick to be held or sat on, depending on the type of wood used in the furniture.

3. Self-Darning Stockings
Although on the more expensive side, these stockings will never need to be re-purchased as they can repair themselves indefinitely when holes or tears appear! These are available in all sizes, from infant to half-giant, and come in four colors: white, black, red, and aubergine. Several people have reported that they enjoy the sensation of the socks repairing themselves while being worn, although some find the experience disquieting.

4. Unobtrusive Pest Control
Tired of buying doxycide? Spiderwebs and fairy eggs hiding in your corners? The Burton Beastiary in London has bred a small variant on the red-fanged attic snake, who feasts on all common household pests. Purchase one and make a nest for it in an unused cupboard, and never have to worry about infestations again! Please note that you ought only to purchase one, as it is difficult to confirm gender for these creatures and they have a tendency to breed voraciously if allowed.

5. Bottled Phoenix Chimney Sweep
This amazing product eliminates the need for chimney sweeping and gives the interior of your fireplace a like-new glimmer. Simply pour the liquid into the fireplace and let the 'phoenix' do its work! Please be advised that per Ministry Statute 2937-J, fireplaces must be disconnected from the Floo network prior to using this potion.

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Vampire activity seems to be at an all time high so it is quite important that we all remember to take logical steps to avoid becoming one of the undead. Five Simple Ways To Avoid Becoming A Vampire
Vampire attacks and general activity seems to be at an all time high once more, with the body of a young girl having been found in the forest and a horde of them even owning a business within London. No doubt that many vampires are looking to have respectable humans join their ranks and it has been made obvious that they do not discriminate between a criminal or a respectable debutante. The following are five simple steps that one can take to avoid becoming a being that relies on the blood of others for survival.

An example of what a typical vampire might look like.
1. Be Wary of Strangers
A known fact about vampires is that they cannot cross the threshold of a private home uninvited. If a stranger comes knocking on your door, do not let them in. Do what you can to keep them outside which is really a good, general rule to have for any stranger. Vampires are typically pale, gaunt and have a tendency to try and hide their mouths because if they don't, you could see their fangs. If someone is acting or looking this way, then they just might be a vampire.

2. Make Use of Garlic
Vampires have an aversion to garlic so it might do one well to carry a couple of cloves on their person. A garlic necklace would be terribly unfashionable so it might be best to have it sewn into a non-visible part of your attire. The scent might drive off some people but this is a great measure to avoid vampires wanting to approach you. You could also carry it in your coin purse but this could cause your money to smell like garlic as well.

3. Travel In Groups
Many respectable ladies almost always have someone that they are traveling if one considers chaperones. However, this might not be enough to protect you from being turned into a vampire. It is a lot safer if you keep to a group of people as only the boldest of vampires would attack a group of people, especially if one or more are magical. After all, we have magic and vampires lose their ability once they are turned. There is also the fact that one would be able to run for help if their companions are attacked.

4. Make Use of Silver
It is not proven but it is rumored that vampires are repulsed by silver. A silver necklace might be a very elegant way to protect yourself from a vampire attack. There are many jewelry options and you could even get a coin purse with silver embellishments. It is also the most fashionable option when it comes to repelling vampires from turning you into one of the undead.

5. Keep Covered - Especially Your Neck!
Not only is it important for ones reputation to be properly covered up but it could save you from becoming a vampire! Keeping your neck and shoulders covered up could help prevent you from a vampires attack as they will have difficulty getting through the cloth. Fashion has started showing a bit more of the shoulders and most times, ladies have their throats bare. This makes them a perfect target for a vampires whims. Prevent that by simply wearing attire that fashionably protects those areas.

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Do Self-Made Men Make Better Husbands Than Heirs?
The rise of the entrepreneurial spirit and the mass-production mentality, both in the muggle and magical world, means more men now than ever are making a fortune without help from their pedigrees. Still, the (admittedly outdated) fantasy of meeting a charming gentleman with a fortune-filled Gringotts vault continues to persist in society, causing many ladies of modest means to dismiss the idea of marrying the self-made man.

We spoke to Mrs. Millicent MacDougal, a mother of three daughters who married into vastly different positions, who revealed that one of her son-in-laws, a merchant who rose from poverty, defied her expectations following his marriage to her youngest daughter.

"He was always so humble and kind, but I was quick to overlook those qualities at the time," she told us. "I chose to instead focus on what I, at the time, considered to be his less favorable qualities: his position at birth, and his upbringing." Mrs. MacDougal's eldest daughter married a firstborn son in a wealthy family, and the second to a man, who, despite his unexceptional background, possessed political and social connections that opened doorways for her daughter as a budding socialite.

"I always expected my third daughter to follow in their footsteps: to find a wealthy man, or to find a man who she could make wealthy. I was unconsciously pushing my daughter towards self-betterment, while simultaneously dismissing the man who did the same for himself," she reflected. Mrs. MacDougal admits to shunning the match at first, ignoring her daughter's letters and invitations for the first six months after their marriage. "I was so obsessed with status: the bloodlines, the names, the connections. It was only that next Christmas, sitting among my three daughters and their husbands, that I realized my youngest was happier than her two sisters."

Why is that? How could a man, with an unimpressive pedigree and no safety net, make a woman feel more happier, more secure? We at Witch Weekly think we've cracked the code!

  1. Self-made men value their wives more. A man from a wealthier background who married below his station might be more inclined to believe that his wife ought to be thankful for what he's providing her with—and to some extent, he's right! A man who rose from poverty to the middle class, on the other hand, might look at his wife and feel grateful that his life allowed him the privilege of marrying such a woman!

  2. Self-made men put more effort into solving martial disputes. Every self-made man on the planet knows what they have to lose, and what they must do to prevent those losses. From overcoming poor investments to recovering lost supplies, self-made men have to utilize their problem-solving skills daily to ensure they don't end up back in the slums. They're much more likely than wealthier men—who have people to solve problems for them—to seek solutions for marital conflict rather than letting it fester.

  3. Self-made men are hardworking. Whether they know it or not, every woman desires a hardworking man. Even if he possesses the financial means to remain jobless throughout his life's duration, knowing that a man is capable of working in the event of financial ruin is comforting on a subconscious level. There's a reason tall, strong men are considered more attractive than short, skinny ones—and it's not just aesthetics!

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Get Featured in Witch Weekly!
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Please contact a member of the Wench team for more information:
Bree | Lynn | Olive | Beanie | Kit | Nichole | Hawke

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