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The Language of the Flowers was a popular method to express feelings where words might be improper, but did you know other means of doing so? Some ladies used their parasols, as well as their fans, gloves, and hankies to flirt with a gentleman (or alternatively, tell them to shove it!). — Bree


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This boy, then. He wasn't new. Wasn't one of the worst people in the common room, those rotten rich boys - like Mr. Jailkeeper - who could not fathom a world beyond their own farts. Was a good working class lad, so he'd heard. Had a bit of a weird looking face, and a bit of a weird thing for preaching. Still.

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Issue #197: Mr. Podmore v. Mr. Adlard: Who Would Make the Better Beau?
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Mr. David Pettigrew


Mr. Quincey Honeyduke


Mr. Finnian Byrne


Mr. Edward Macmillan

Couples Who Should Be Courting:
September Edition

Mr. David Pettigrew and Ms. Helga Scamander
Though they come from different social backgrounds, we can't get over how romantic their meeting is! These two were hurled together in perilous circumstances in June - the locust swarm during Fogsmeade saw Mr. Pettigrew bravely rescuing Miss Scamander from the insects. The pair were seen in the hospital, where Mr. Pettigrew had carried Miss Scamander to safety. We swoon at the sight of the dark haired couple. There is most definitely some chemistry between them!

Mr. Quincey Honeyduke and Ms. Felicity Adlard
Although Ms. Adlard has experienced heartbreak recently - her poor fiance, Mr. Percy Jewell was killed in a werewolf attack in July - she and Mr. Honeyduke would make the sweetest pairing! He, recovering from his loss of the shop in the troll attack, and she, recovering from her loss of fiance in the werewolf attack. They have so much in common already! Just last month, she was seen bringing a basket to the under construction sweet shop. The pair were seen smiling at each other through the windows. It's a coupling to pluck your heartstrings!

Mr. Finnian Byrne and Mrs. Annabelle Bones
At first glance, you may think this an odd match. However, if you look further - you can see that the two had become quite close during their Fogsmeade expedition! Mr. Byrne was overheard being incredibly complimentary - perhaps, even flirtatious! - with the widowed Mrs. Bones at the expedition celebration this past month. Their age difference, social status and Mrs. Bones life experience will certainly be bumps in the road. Being hopeless romantics, we know that their love will prevail.

Mr. Edward Macmillan and Ms. Lucille Flint
Rumor has it that these two might already be courting! They were overheard at the Aphrodite Soirée exchanging sweet nothings and both calling the other 'Darling'! The love in their eyes was unmistakable. Perhaps we'll have a wedding announcement by Christmas!

Ms. Helga Scamander


Ms. Felicity Adlard


Mrs. Annabelle Bones


Ms. Lucille Flint

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What do your fashion choices say about you?
1. What sort of hat do you often wear?
a.) Whatever is the current fashion.
b.) Anything with a veil.
c.) Ones with peacock feathers and other embellishments.


2. What kind of parasol are you often seen with?
a.) pretty and dainty.
b.) dark ones.
c.) overly decorated ones.


3. What is more important to you when choosing an outfit?
a.) that I look fashionable, tasteful and beautiful.
b.) that I look dramatic.
c.) that I attract the most attention out of everyone in the room.


4. What do you consider to be your best accessory?
a.) a dainty fan.
b.) a dramatic brooch.
c.) fantastic feathers.
5. Of the following brooch designs, which would you wear?
a.) something small and dainty such as a butterfly.
b.) something dramatic such as a scarab like one might find in an Egyptian tomb.
c.) something that stands out like a large bird.

Mostly A's
You are a fun, sociable woman and are always the life of the party! Everyone wants you at their events because whether you are merely making a spectacle of yourself or effortlessly charming the room, you make the event shine with your mere presence.

Mostly B's
You are a drab and morbid human being. People find you to be eccentric and you possibly make them slightly uncomfortable. It would do your social life some good to lighten up a little or you could end up shunned by desirable company.

Mostly C's
You are outlandish and over the top. Every fashion choice is meant to make some sort of dramatic statement and you don't care if no one understands what you are trying to say. You are definitely an outcast within the social circle but chances are, you don't even notice.
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Mr. Podmore v. Mr. Adlard: Who Would Make the Better Beau?
Under Minister Ross' administration, the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures has seen a number of changes, first with Mrs. Morwenna Skeeter's promotion to department head, and now the promotions of Mr. Clinton Podmore and Mr. Percival Adlard to department assistant head and Beast Division head respectively.

Apart from overseeing the Werewolf Capture Unit — a focal point of Minister Ross' campaign — and the classification of various magical creatures across the British Isles, the department handles fewer matters of publicity than, say, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement or the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. What it does have, though, is two now very powerful — and very single! — men assisting Mrs. Skeeter, and debutantes and ladies across magical Britain should take notice! Today, Witch Weekly begs the question: Which of the two bachelors would make a better beau?

The Case for Mr. Podmore
For a woman seeking absolute wealth (or an woman born to wealth), Mr. Clinton Podmore is the only option. A young woman looking for an heir, on the other hand, is less likely to be appeased; the youngest of three sons, it's unlikely that Mr. Podmore will ever see the family fortune's passed into his name, considering that his two elder brothers work generally low-risk jobs: professor and healer-in-charge.

Ambitions is certainly a quality possessed by Mr. Podmore. Promoted to head of the Beast Division — Mr. Adlard's new position — at age twenty-nine, Mr. Podmore found his way to assistant head of his department only two years later! This does beg the question of whether this aggressive ambition will allow Mr. Podmore the time to shower a wife and children with the attention they deserve, and any debutante potentially plans on seeking him out should keep that in mind. A debutante who can picture themselves happy without an attentive husband, however, might find a soul-mate in this former Slytherin!

The Case for Mr. Adlard
A more down-to-Earth woman with hopes of both an attentive and ambitious husband, might turn their attention to Mr. Percival Adlard, Jr., the eldest child and only son of his parents. A former Hufflepuff, there can be no doubt of Mr. Adlard's purity of heart. Frequently seen with his young niece and nephew around Hogsmeade, there is no doubt that family is something greatly valued by the the new head of the Beast Division (unlike Mr. Podmore, whose brothers on more than one occasion have been noted to express annoyance at the mention of his name!).

We at Witch Weekly also consider Mr. Adlard to be more handsome than Mr. Podmore despite his lesser wealth! A blonde bride might best compliment him, but his own preferences — brunette, we suspect, based off the women he's been seen in the company of! — must be acknowledged.

The Conclusion
On paper, there are a number of things Mr. Podmore and Mr. Adlard have in common: their similar experiences, both having worked in the Beast Division; their half-blooded status; their July birthdays; and their ambitious natures! Mr. Podmore is definitely the better match for a woman who has no need to climb the social ladder, and Mr. Adlard is definitely the better match for a woman who would be less pleased to marry a man above her station. Witch Weekly believes that Mr. Adlard would be the better package overall — potential for future promotions, a family-oriented heart, a handsome face, and an easygoing disposition.
Mr. Clinton Podmore

Mr. Percival Adlard Jr.
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Little sidenotes! Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Letters From Our Readers!
Since the article 'Horror At Hogwarts: Foggy Failures' was published in last weeks edition of Witch Weekly encouraging readers to write in, we have been inundated with letters from parents. Here is a selection from the many we received:

Dear Witch Weekly,
My youngest son has just started at Hogwarts this year and while I took comfort from the fact that he was successfully sorted, after reading the article published on Sunday I am now once more deeply concerned that my son may now be a squib. My son received his first wand without issue prior to the arrival of the fog and had demonstrated numerous magical outbursts in the past. Since starting Hogwarts, however, he has written home on more than one occasion and described how distraught he is that he has been incapable of casting a single spell. I might be inclined to blame the professors were it not for the fog which I feared would rob my boy of his magic from day one! I fear he will be dismissed from school if this continues.

Friends have tried to reassure me that it is merely a coincidence that my son has become magically impotent, citing our residing in the countryside all summer and not in Hogsmeade or Irvingly, but he has been in frequent contact with those who were exposed to the fog's effects and I think it likely he has suffered from secondhand exposure. I can only hope that spending time in a highly magical environment such as Hogwarts will restore his magic.

Sincerely,
Mrs. G. F.


* * *

Witch Weekly,

What utter nonsense! These feeble-minded mothers are merely looking for an excuse as to why their children are under-performing at school when the tragic reality is that they're simply untalented. Rather than blaming the fog, these parents ought to face up to reality and realize that the fault lies either in the sub par pre-Hogwarts education they provided for their child or it is simply a case of unfortunate lineage. This is why it is essential to keep muggle taint as far from wizarding blood as possible. It is a well known fact that for every halfblood who can match a pureblood in magical aptitude, there are five more who struggle at the most basic of spells.

If you will mix blood with muggles at least take responsibility for the consequences when they manifest in your offspring!

With regards,
A Pureblood Parent


* * *

Witch Weekly,

My daughter has experienced some abnormal difficulty in spell casting since returning to Hogwarts after spending the summer in Irvingly. I'm really not sure what to believe, however. I thought there weren't supposed to be any long term side-effects from the fog and yet I couldn't help but to wonder after reading the Horror at Hogwarts article. Regardless, I think the Ministry really ought to have people researching fog exposed children, just to make sure. While I think it unlikely that the fog is still affecting us, it would certainly provide some peace of mind.

R. D.

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